Once upon a time, I lived near the Warren Theater in Moore, Oklahoma. That's why, when the devastating tornado churned through the city last week, I held my breath and watched with clasped hands. I have family and friends in the area, and my thoughts, like anyone else's with "people" in Moore, were frantic with worry.
Well, the people I know survived the storm, but several family members attended the funeral for one of the tornado's victims--a nine-year-old boy. In addition, people from the area have told me that seeing the pictures on TV is one thing, but viewing the damage up close, in the area where you live your life everyday, requires some adjustment.
As a parent, I worry about the effect of the news coverage on my own young children and have strived to keep my viewing to the morning and evening hours when they are asleep. But storm damage is something most Oklahoma kiddos will witness at one point or another, and being prepared to answer the big questions from our little ones is another part of preparing for severe weather.
First of all, it's probably a safe bet that most kids are going to be curious about what a tornado is. The challenge is achieving comprehension, as many young children don't understand words like "instability" or "air pressure." However, Discovery Kids does a nice job explaining the science in kid-friendly terms here, and I also would recommend the Science Museum of Oklahoma, which has some great displays for hands-on learning.
But for most of us, talking about the science of a tornado is the easy part. It's what a tornado does--the lives lost, people injured, and homes destroyed--that gives us cause for anxiety and sadness. For little ones, the aftermath of a storm may overwhelm, so here's a few things you can do when disaster strikes.
1. Limit viewing of media coverage, and be a good role model. Jackie Shaw, Director of Edmond Family Counseling, has fielded questions from parents regarding best courses of action in the event of a tornado like the one in Moore. She encourages parents to do two things: one, limit their viewing of media coverage of the tornado. Children in the Oklahoma City area will be exposed to images of these tragic storms in each stage of the recovery process, so turning the television off can help limit anxiety. Also, a parent's own reaction--negative versus positive, or fearful versus hopeful--can greatly influence a child's reaction to an event like this.
2. Think in terms of how your child thinks, not how you think. My preschooler tells me she is sad sometimes, sometimes she is scared, and sometimes she is "weally, weally happy." Shaw suggested that when the questions do start to come your way, try to phrase your answers in the language you've heard your child use before.
3. Prepare yourself to answer the question, "What happens when people die?" Everyone will experience losing someone they love, and some of us experience it early in our childhood. The National Institutes of Health has put together a great resource for dealing with the subject, no matter the circumstances. And sometimes, it's okay to say, "I don't have the answer to that one."
The important thing to remember is that your child looks to you for how to respond to life's most difficult situations. That's certainly a great deal of pressure, but in some ways, it's also reassuring to know that a parent can exercise such a positive influence. And if you can show your child that there is joy and hope in the midst of sadness, then you will be teaching them a valuable lesson they will never outgrow.
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