Hello my dear friends!
Well, all good things must come to an end. For two years, I have enjoyed sharing not only my journey as an Edmond Mom, but also a ton of resources available to parents in our community.
However, life shifts and weaves, and even as some amazing opportunities have opened up for me professionally as an author, blogger, and communication specialist, I must move on from this blog or become an overwhelmed crazy person. Tough options here, right? However, if you subscribe to the Edmond Sun, my monthly column will continue!
What I will do is leave this blog up as a continuing resource. Check out the resource page for specific topics (which I've recently updated), or just search to find what you're looking for. Chances are, if it's a hot parent topic...I've covered it here!
If you want to continue to follow my author career (exciting things ahead!), check me out at www.mmcoxbooks.com. I will continue to blog at Bookbub.com.
If you want to get in touch, write me at mmcoxbooks [at] live [dot] com.
Cheers and blessings!
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Thursday, January 29, 2015
Thursday, January 15, 2015
Let's talk about - Speech Therapy...Next steps
Speech therapy. It is a hot topic among today's parents, with both schools and pediatricians highlighting the need for early intervention of anything that interferes with a child's ability to learn and communicate.
In our last post, we discussed how you might discover whether you should be concerned about your child's speaking ability, as well as some stories from local parents who have addressed those concerns. In this post, we take on the next steps...how to get a proper diagnosis and what speech therapy will look like.
Ashley Miller, an Edmond mom and nationally certified speech-language pathologist who works with children in our area, emphasized, "Early intervention is the absolute key!" She said if you have any concerns about how your child is functioning in four areas - articulation, expressive and/or receptive language, fluency, or voice (see previous post for descriptions) - there are free resources to address concerns.
In our last post, we discussed how you might discover whether you should be concerned about your child's speaking ability, as well as some stories from local parents who have addressed those concerns. In this post, we take on the next steps...how to get a proper diagnosis and what speech therapy will look like.
Ashley Miller, an Edmond mom and nationally certified speech-language pathologist who works with children in our area, emphasized, "Early intervention is the absolute key!" She said if you have any concerns about how your child is functioning in four areas - articulation, expressive and/or receptive language, fluency, or voice (see previous post for descriptions) - there are free resources to address concerns.
"For children ages 0-3,
SoonerStart evaluations are available free of charge through state and federal
funding. SoonerStart evaluations include assessment across all areas of functioning.
For children ages 3-21, your local school district is responsible for assisting
families with concerns." Miller recommends that you contact your local school building or district’s ChildFind office to talk to someone about screenings and/or evaluations. She also says discussing these concerns with your
pediatrician is important. She encouraged those looking for more information regarding typical
development and identification of communication disorders to visit
identifythesigns.org.
For Edmond mom Julie Butler, the process was pretty straightforward. "Our pediatrician recommended the place where we are. I
called them and set up an evaluation. It lasted an hour and the therapist spoke
with me afterwards about the findings and her recommendations." At that point, the Butlers and the therapist set goals that are reviewed every 6 months and adjusted accordingly.
For Jessica Toman, a mom of two young children who take speech therapy at Can Do Kids in Edmond, the process was a little more complicated. "For my daughter we learned that the school system would test her, but not until she was 3. Three was the magic age where we could get a hearing test at the doctor also." She mentioned that some libraries set up testing dates during the summer, but they were out of town at the time. Toman did have her daughter tested that fall at the 3-year mark, and the doctor referred them to Can Do Kids. "We have had a wonderful experience there...my daughter and son were given an hour-long test to determine their needs, and next a request was made to the insurance company to say speech would benefit my child." A plan was set up and Toman's daughter went a year for two weekly appointments, which has since dropped down to once a week.
For both mothers, speech therapy has been an interesting experience, one that has challenged their expectations of the process. According to Butler--
"Since my
daughter's issues were not as much speech related as language related, I wasn't
sure what good 'speech' would do her.
But I have very been surprised at what they cover and work on. She is given gym
time to help her socialization skills and they incorporate technology and play
to help her achieve her set goals. The therapist always visits with me after a
session to tell me what they worked on and how my daughter did. I ask questions on
how we can work on things at home and tell her what issues we are seeing that
we would like addressed."
Toman has also been pleasantly surprised. "I went to speech a couple
years during grade school. It was a
little different than my experience. They [the kids] are younger and don’t just go over
flash cards. They utilize a small gym, play games, use the iPad, and other
activities to involve the kids in communication and pronunciation."
Stay tuned next week as we discuss speech therapy expectations and outcomes!
Thursday, January 8, 2015
Let's talk about - Speech Therapy: What are the signs?
One of the greatest things about being a mom is sharing my journey with other parents. Every family is so unique, with challenges all their own. One such issue I recently came across is the need for speech therapy.
When I first thought about speech therapy, my mind brought up images of flashcards and lisps, as well as the thought that it wouldn't be something for parents to pursue until their kids are in elementary school. How wrong I was! Through several acquaintances, I discovered that speech therapy is something parents become aware of the need for early on.
On that note, we will be covering these topics during the month of January...
January 8 - Signs your child might need speech therapy (keep reading below!).
January 15 - Next steps for speech therapy.
January 22 - Speech therapy expectations and outcomes.
I didn't think too much about my children starting to talk. They have what we call the "Volland" gene in my family, which means they talk often and more often. We are not a historically quiet family. But as I started interviewing moms who had started speech therapy for their children, it became apparent to me that only a parent knows his or her children well enough to know what they need.
However, trying to determine whether your child needs to start down this road can still be fraught with uncertainty. How happy was I to talk to Ashley Miller, an Edmond mom and nationally certified speech pathologist. She said children present with delays in one (or more) of the following areas:
1. Articulation - Can you understand what your child is saying?
2. Expressive and/or receptive language - Can the child expressively communicate and understand language? Can they express ideas and follow directions?
3. Fluency - Does the child stutter (or something of that nature)?
4. Voice - Does the child have a breathy or hoarse quality or nasal sounding voice?
"Also," she said, "don't underestimate the impact of hearing loss. Many pediatricians are able to screen your child's hearing in their office or will be able to refer you to a local audiologist for full evaluation. Other concerns parents may have include issues with swallowing and/or feeding skills as well as reading difficulties."
When I first thought about speech therapy, my mind brought up images of flashcards and lisps, as well as the thought that it wouldn't be something for parents to pursue until their kids are in elementary school. How wrong I was! Through several acquaintances, I discovered that speech therapy is something parents become aware of the need for early on.
On that note, we will be covering these topics during the month of January...
January 8 - Signs your child might need speech therapy (keep reading below!).
January 15 - Next steps for speech therapy.
January 22 - Speech therapy expectations and outcomes.
I didn't think too much about my children starting to talk. They have what we call the "Volland" gene in my family, which means they talk often and more often. We are not a historically quiet family. But as I started interviewing moms who had started speech therapy for their children, it became apparent to me that only a parent knows his or her children well enough to know what they need.
However, trying to determine whether your child needs to start down this road can still be fraught with uncertainty. How happy was I to talk to Ashley Miller, an Edmond mom and nationally certified speech pathologist. She said children present with delays in one (or more) of the following areas:
1. Articulation - Can you understand what your child is saying?
2. Expressive and/or receptive language - Can the child expressively communicate and understand language? Can they express ideas and follow directions?
3. Fluency - Does the child stutter (or something of that nature)?
4. Voice - Does the child have a breathy or hoarse quality or nasal sounding voice?
"Also," she said, "don't underestimate the impact of hearing loss. Many pediatricians are able to screen your child's hearing in their office or will be able to refer you to a local audiologist for full evaluation. Other concerns parents may have include issues with swallowing and/or feeding skills as well as reading difficulties."
Next I had the opportunity to speak with two different moms whose children take speech therapy here in Edmond. I asked them about their experience with making the decision to pursue this type of intervention. Julie Butler told me this about her daughter, who was age 3 at the time of diagnosis: "We felt that she was behind in the way she interacted with other kids and that her vocabulary/communication skills did not match her age."
A recommendation from the pediatrician put Butler's daughter at the office where she is now.
Mom Jessica Toman had a similar experience--both for her daughter and her son. "For my daughter--my oldest child in speech--it was harder to figure out. She knew how to identify many items and did so above others her age. But she is also shy. So it took me a bit to realize she wasn't really putting words together like other children her age, even when she was speaking to me. If she wanted a sandwich, she would just say 'sandwich.'" A doctor recommended Toman's daughter to Can Do Kids in Edmond. Following that, the process of diagnosing Toman's son was easier, especially when he wasn't saying much at 18 months. When Toman approached the doctor with her concerns, she was able to get an immediate referral and an early start on the process.
Moral of these stories? Don't hesitate to ask questions. Addressing concerns early can lead to greater benefits for your child and peace of mind. Every family's journey will be different, but if you have some of the same concerns for your child, it never hurts to gets some answers.
Stay tuned next week as we look at speech therapy--diagnosis and treatment!
Thursday, January 1, 2015
6 "parently" resolutions for the New Year
Happy 2015!
Yet again, another year has snuck up on me. Somehow, since I've had kids, the years are zipping past, and my birthday in February rolls by with a "Say what?"
Yep, I'm gettin' older. Fact of life. But I'm going to be a parent for years to come (God willing), and each day, I think there are definitely some things I could work on.
No, I'm not talking about becoming a Pinterest mom or volunteering for every little itty bitty thing. The six items on my list are just small everyday choices, but ones that may have lifelong benefits.
1. Play more...I will be the first to admit I am not especially creative when it comes to playing with little kids. It takes some energy to get into the idea of a "princess school" or "doggie tea party." But why am I so reluctant? In less than ten years, I'll be lucky to be included in any of my daughter or son's downtime, so that's what I need to remember when I'm sitting on the floor surrounded by stuffed animals.
2. "Electronic-cize" less...in line with my first resolution, one way to make sure we're all playing more together as a family is to limit time on computers, smartphones, and the television. Now, I've never been one to set exact limits, but one of my rules, which is not to turn the television on after school until I've started fixing dinner, has already caused my kids to play more together. Also, stowing the phone during family time--even when we're all sitting down to watch a show--is another way to keep myself "in the moment."
3. Lower my voice...I have a friend who once gave up "yelling" for Lent. It was very entertaining for those forty days. Now, as my kids get older, I find myself doing the whole raising my voice thing when I really need to get their attention and responsive behavior--quickly. But lately, both me and my vocal chords think maybe I'm relying on this more than implementing consequences (which are more time consuming than the yelling thing). But, to be effective, I need to make rules and follow through with penalties, so add "limit yelling" to my list.
4. Have more adventures...I am the daughter of parents who thought they'd try taking me to London with them when I was 18 months old. As they tell the story, it was one heck of a trip, and I'm not up for the same experience. But now that my kids are a little easier to control and reason with, it's time to hit the road and the skies. It doesn't have to be fancy, but we all need to get out of our comfort zone.
5. Perfect my picture keeping...I had this conversation just a few days ago with a friend. Is it possible that my last three years of pictures are really only on the computer? It's not that I can't show them to the kids there, but there's something special about being able to set out an album or box of pictures and go through them with your fingers. I vow to give Shutterfly some serious business and get all those prints ordered and organized!
6. Remember myself...Through all this, my greatest commitment is to my family, but it doesn't mean I--Megan Cox, writer, runner, former ice skater, journalist, mediocre piano player, soulful singer--has to disappear. There are times each day, week, and month that I take for myself, and that's okay. Valuing myself is a great model for my daughter and son, and it's important for kids to remember that their parents are people too--not just older folk meant to do their bidding.
Well, that's my list. What's yours? Don't just make a resolution this year...make a purpose.
Cheers.
Yet again, another year has snuck up on me. Somehow, since I've had kids, the years are zipping past, and my birthday in February rolls by with a "Say what?"
Yep, I'm gettin' older. Fact of life. But I'm going to be a parent for years to come (God willing), and each day, I think there are definitely some things I could work on.
No, I'm not talking about becoming a Pinterest mom or volunteering for every little itty bitty thing. The six items on my list are just small everyday choices, but ones that may have lifelong benefits.
 |
| 2015: more doggie tea parties, less smart phone. |
2. "Electronic-cize" less...in line with my first resolution, one way to make sure we're all playing more together as a family is to limit time on computers, smartphones, and the television. Now, I've never been one to set exact limits, but one of my rules, which is not to turn the television on after school until I've started fixing dinner, has already caused my kids to play more together. Also, stowing the phone during family time--even when we're all sitting down to watch a show--is another way to keep myself "in the moment."
3. Lower my voice...I have a friend who once gave up "yelling" for Lent. It was very entertaining for those forty days. Now, as my kids get older, I find myself doing the whole raising my voice thing when I really need to get their attention and responsive behavior--quickly. But lately, both me and my vocal chords think maybe I'm relying on this more than implementing consequences (which are more time consuming than the yelling thing). But, to be effective, I need to make rules and follow through with penalties, so add "limit yelling" to my list.
4. Have more adventures...I am the daughter of parents who thought they'd try taking me to London with them when I was 18 months old. As they tell the story, it was one heck of a trip, and I'm not up for the same experience. But now that my kids are a little easier to control and reason with, it's time to hit the road and the skies. It doesn't have to be fancy, but we all need to get out of our comfort zone.
5. Perfect my picture keeping...I had this conversation just a few days ago with a friend. Is it possible that my last three years of pictures are really only on the computer? It's not that I can't show them to the kids there, but there's something special about being able to set out an album or box of pictures and go through them with your fingers. I vow to give Shutterfly some serious business and get all those prints ordered and organized!
6. Remember myself...Through all this, my greatest commitment is to my family, but it doesn't mean I--Megan Cox, writer, runner, former ice skater, journalist, mediocre piano player, soulful singer--has to disappear. There are times each day, week, and month that I take for myself, and that's okay. Valuing myself is a great model for my daughter and son, and it's important for kids to remember that their parents are people too--not just older folk meant to do their bidding.
Well, that's my list. What's yours? Don't just make a resolution this year...make a purpose.
Cheers.
Thursday, December 25, 2014
Let's make a tradition...surviving Christmas vacation with a few favorite things
Merry Christmas!
I am obviously writing this a few days before that fun day, because I'm not actually going to blog on Christmas! Hope you are enjoying bright happy faces and lots of yummy turkey right now. I know I am.
Now, next up...
Christmas break!
Oh how excited I used to be at those words! As a child, it meant two weeks off from school, and even though I was desperately missing my friends by the end of it, two weeks without homework was well worth the price. Besides, I had a younger brother who would play whatever I wanted (Barbies, etc.), so yeah, it was awesome.
Then I became a grownup and went to work. Christmas break got much shorter, but it was still the time of year my husband and I would make an effort to travel to see our families.
Then I had kids. And even though I still say, "Yay! Christmas break!" suddenly, there's much more pressure to fill those long winter days.
Well, I've got just the ticket for families of all ages, because, let's face it, I am a playdate guru at this point, and I've learned what a variety of ages like. So here's a few spots to hang on a cold winter's day that do not involve shopping (besides, you already know where to take yourself shopping after a month of heavy practice).
Let's go to the movies - Don't you dare groan at me. I am a movie buff. A fanatic! Unlike many parents who give up trips to the theater when they give up their car to carseats, my husband and I still make monthly trips to the big screen (courtesy of some very awesome in-laws). This is a time of year where film studios pull out the big guns, which means inspirational, exciting, and kid-friendly stuff is in abundance. Your kid might be old enough for inspiring movies like Unbroken, but if not, the Penguins of Madagascar and the new Annie are pretty entertaining fare as well.
Let's skate - I will admit, as a former competitive figure skater, that ice skating is high on my list of fun, simply because I know I'm not going to spend much time on my butt (you know, until I try some of my old tricks; oh, and my back will hurt for days after doing a layback spin!). Watching my kiddos start to get their own feet under them and the amazing way my husband never seems to struggle after spending years at a time off the ice (I despise those born athletes sometimes!) is a fun gig for our family. So get brave! Or get a little Frozen inspired. Then, after you hit the ice (hopefully not literally), go get cocoa or Mexican food or whatever makes you warm and cozy inside.
Let's get smart and have fun - Okay, I'm a sucker for history and science! A writer like me has to be, or we wouldn't get all inspired by the past and present and create articles and books about them (I am convinced that in my next life, I will either return as an archaeologist or geneticist--fascinating stuff!) My favorite spot in Edmond for history is obviously the Edmond Historical Society, which has the coolest mini "Old West" town for younger kids. Then, just down the way is the Science Museum of Oklahoma, with items and activities of interest for all ages (if you hurry, you can still do the Olympic display upstairs, where my husband and I have enjoyed racing our two-year-old in the 50-yard dash. BTW - no current or future track stars in this family).
So get a positive attitude, drag yourself out of the house, and have some more holiday fun. If you're inclined to get outside, remember that most of the local light displays will run through the New Year. And if it's just too darn cold and blizzardy, make a pot of chili, play a board game, and sit down for a relaxed family dinner.
At the end of the break, and even many years later, your kids will remember the family time.
Happy New Year!
I am obviously writing this a few days before that fun day, because I'm not actually going to blog on Christmas! Hope you are enjoying bright happy faces and lots of yummy turkey right now. I know I am.
Now, next up...
Christmas break!
Oh how excited I used to be at those words! As a child, it meant two weeks off from school, and even though I was desperately missing my friends by the end of it, two weeks without homework was well worth the price. Besides, I had a younger brother who would play whatever I wanted (Barbies, etc.), so yeah, it was awesome.
Then I became a grownup and went to work. Christmas break got much shorter, but it was still the time of year my husband and I would make an effort to travel to see our families.
Then I had kids. And even though I still say, "Yay! Christmas break!" suddenly, there's much more pressure to fill those long winter days.
Well, I've got just the ticket for families of all ages, because, let's face it, I am a playdate guru at this point, and I've learned what a variety of ages like. So here's a few spots to hang on a cold winter's day that do not involve shopping (besides, you already know where to take yourself shopping after a month of heavy practice).
 |
| The AMC at Quail Springs has 24 theaters! |
Let's go to the movies - Don't you dare groan at me. I am a movie buff. A fanatic! Unlike many parents who give up trips to the theater when they give up their car to carseats, my husband and I still make monthly trips to the big screen (courtesy of some very awesome in-laws). This is a time of year where film studios pull out the big guns, which means inspirational, exciting, and kid-friendly stuff is in abundance. Your kid might be old enough for inspiring movies like Unbroken, but if not, the Penguins of Madagascar and the new Annie are pretty entertaining fare as well.
 |
| Arctic Edge is the perfect skating destination. |
 |
Science Museum Oklahoma |
Let's get smart and have fun - Okay, I'm a sucker for history and science! A writer like me has to be, or we wouldn't get all inspired by the past and present and create articles and books about them (I am convinced that in my next life, I will either return as an archaeologist or geneticist--fascinating stuff!) My favorite spot in Edmond for history is obviously the Edmond Historical Society, which has the coolest mini "Old West" town for younger kids. Then, just down the way is the Science Museum of Oklahoma, with items and activities of interest for all ages (if you hurry, you can still do the Olympic display upstairs, where my husband and I have enjoyed racing our two-year-old in the 50-yard dash. BTW - no current or future track stars in this family).
So get a positive attitude, drag yourself out of the house, and have some more holiday fun. If you're inclined to get outside, remember that most of the local light displays will run through the New Year. And if it's just too darn cold and blizzardy, make a pot of chili, play a board game, and sit down for a relaxed family dinner.
At the end of the break, and even many years later, your kids will remember the family time.
Happy New Year!
Thursday, December 18, 2014
Let's make a tradition...Christmas Eve candlelight services
I will admit that my favorite time of year is Christmas, despite the overall craziness of the season. However, you may be surprised to discover that Christmas is not my most favorite day.
Actually, my favorite day is Christmas Eve.
Why, you ask? Well, I could say that the anticipation of Christmas morning invigorates me, or that I love mingling with last minute shoppers. I could say that it's easier to get my kids to listen to the true story of Christmas that day, or that I enjoy serving my family's traditional, relaxed Christmas Eve buffet. And all of that would be true...but it may not be the reason.
I believe the reason is that I look forward to - all year long - the candlelight service. To me, there is nothing like a church filled with only candlelight, a congregation lifting their voices acapella, to sing "Silent Night."
I LOVE it. It reminds me of why this really is the most beautiful season, and it helps me recall many, many memories of attending similar services with my family since I can remember. Nothing says Christmas to me quite like it.
It is a tradition for sure, one that I hope my children will someday value as much as I do.
So, in the interest of perhaps getting you to start your own candlelight tradition, here's a list of local services for 2014. If you're non-religious, it's still a great way to share the beauty and wonder of Christmas with others, to perhaps take time to breathe and recall why the holidays are special to you. And, if for some reason going to a service just isn't feasible, grab a lighter and a candle (surely, you have a candle - they're not that old-fashioned!) and do your own version (safely, of course).
And have a Merry Christmas, Happy Holiday, or however you call it that brings meaning to you!
(All times listed are for December 24 unless otherwise specified. Also, please check sites to confirm a service is candlelight.)
Acts 2 United Methodist Church - 3:30, 5, & 7 pm
Coffee Creek Baptist Church - 7 pm (December 23 only)
Crossings Community Church - 12, 3, 4:30, 5, 6, 7, & 11 pm (check site for auditorium location) (6, 7, & 8 pm, December 23)
Edmond's First Baptist Church - 6 pm
First Presbyterian - 8 pm
First United Methodist - 4, 7, & 11 pm
Holy Trinity - 3 & 11 pm
Life Church (Edmond) - 2:30, 4, 5:30, & 7 pm (6 & 7:30, December 23)
Quail Springs Baptist Church - 3:30 & 5 pm
Quail Springs United Methodist Church - 6 & 11 pm
Santa Fe Presbyterian - 5 & 11 pm
St. John the Baptist Catholic Church - 4 pm
St. Monica Catholic Church - 4, 6, & 9 pm, and midnight
Please post more services in the comments section or send times and web addresses here.
Actually, my favorite day is Christmas Eve.
Why, you ask? Well, I could say that the anticipation of Christmas morning invigorates me, or that I love mingling with last minute shoppers. I could say that it's easier to get my kids to listen to the true story of Christmas that day, or that I enjoy serving my family's traditional, relaxed Christmas Eve buffet. And all of that would be true...but it may not be the reason.
I LOVE it. It reminds me of why this really is the most beautiful season, and it helps me recall many, many memories of attending similar services with my family since I can remember. Nothing says Christmas to me quite like it.
It is a tradition for sure, one that I hope my children will someday value as much as I do.
So, in the interest of perhaps getting you to start your own candlelight tradition, here's a list of local services for 2014. If you're non-religious, it's still a great way to share the beauty and wonder of Christmas with others, to perhaps take time to breathe and recall why the holidays are special to you. And, if for some reason going to a service just isn't feasible, grab a lighter and a candle (surely, you have a candle - they're not that old-fashioned!) and do your own version (safely, of course).
And have a Merry Christmas, Happy Holiday, or however you call it that brings meaning to you!
(All times listed are for December 24 unless otherwise specified. Also, please check sites to confirm a service is candlelight.)
Acts 2 United Methodist Church - 3:30, 5, & 7 pm
Coffee Creek Baptist Church - 7 pm (December 23 only)
Crossings Community Church - 12, 3, 4:30, 5, 6, 7, & 11 pm (check site for auditorium location) (6, 7, & 8 pm, December 23)
Edmond's First Baptist Church - 6 pm
First Presbyterian - 8 pm
First United Methodist - 4, 7, & 11 pm
Holy Trinity - 3 & 11 pm
Life Church (Edmond) - 2:30, 4, 5:30, & 7 pm (6 & 7:30, December 23)
Quail Springs Baptist Church - 3:30 & 5 pm
Quail Springs United Methodist Church - 6 & 11 pm
Santa Fe Presbyterian - 5 & 11 pm
St. John the Baptist Catholic Church - 4 pm
St. Monica Catholic Church - 4, 6, & 9 pm, and midnight
Please post more services in the comments section or send times and web addresses here.
Thursday, December 4, 2014
Let's make a tradition - Christmas memories that stick like snowflakes
I have plenty of fond childhood memories of Christmas. Plen-ty.
In Los Angeles and later in Atlanta, my family of five (I was the middle child, so take that as you will) would pile in the minivan and carol out to some Christmas tree farm to pick a winner. It was usually an all-day event, with my mom feeling sorry for the scrawniest of trees and telling my dad we should pick it, and he and my older sister in turn telling her she was crazy - the trees don't actually care. Meanwhile, I'd be chasing my little brother and several of our Australian shepherds around, trying to keep the dogs from christening other unsuspecting people's trees.
Like I said - tradition.
Every Christmas Eve we'd attend a candlelight service, eat a Christmas Eve buffet with guests, and open our presents from my grandma and aunt in Pennsylvania. My mom ruined the Santa thing early, so then we'd go to bed, knowing my parents would frantically be wrapping presents for the next hour or two. (One year, they decided to wait until morning, leaving my mom to corral three eager children in their bedrooms while Dad frantically wrapped. I remember a lot of garbage bag gift wrap that year.)
Anyway, as a mom of little ones of my own, I want them to have fond memories of this season that they may continue for their children. Also as a mom, I get to pick my favorite traditions, which is ah-some! Here are a few we're going to discuss this month in the series - "Let's make a tradition."
Christmas Lights (December 11) - I will tell you this: the OKC metro has some dazzling light displays nearby, and if your kiddos get as wide-eyed as mine do with those colorful twinkling displays, then you might want to consider making Christmas lights a yearly tradition.
Candlelight Services (December 18) - One of the beautiful things about the season is having the opportunity - churchgoer or not - to attend a service where you light candles and sing Christmas carols. If you're not religious, it's a time to focus on the peace and beauty of the season, and if you are a person of faith, it is a time to remember what it's all about.
Christmas Vacation (December 25) - No! I don't mean the silly movie with the squirrel in the Christmas tree. I'm talking about the week following Christmas, when we're all on sugar overload and worrying about New Year's resolutions and credit card bills. Let's talk about some ways we can keep that Christmas spirit going into the new year, by making some post-Christmas family traditions that put the "memory" in "memorable."
So stay tuned! We have a fun, dazzling month ahead, and it's always good, when you're getting stressed, to repeat this: "Christmas only comes once a year."
In Los Angeles and later in Atlanta, my family of five (I was the middle child, so take that as you will) would pile in the minivan and carol out to some Christmas tree farm to pick a winner. It was usually an all-day event, with my mom feeling sorry for the scrawniest of trees and telling my dad we should pick it, and he and my older sister in turn telling her she was crazy - the trees don't actually care. Meanwhile, I'd be chasing my little brother and several of our Australian shepherds around, trying to keep the dogs from christening other unsuspecting people's trees.
Like I said - tradition.
Every Christmas Eve we'd attend a candlelight service, eat a Christmas Eve buffet with guests, and open our presents from my grandma and aunt in Pennsylvania. My mom ruined the Santa thing early, so then we'd go to bed, knowing my parents would frantically be wrapping presents for the next hour or two. (One year, they decided to wait until morning, leaving my mom to corral three eager children in their bedrooms while Dad frantically wrapped. I remember a lot of garbage bag gift wrap that year.)
 |
| Awkward family photo? Nah! The McAndrew family was super cute in the early nineties! |
Anyway, as a mom of little ones of my own, I want them to have fond memories of this season that they may continue for their children. Also as a mom, I get to pick my favorite traditions, which is ah-some! Here are a few we're going to discuss this month in the series - "Let's make a tradition."
Christmas Lights (December 11) - I will tell you this: the OKC metro has some dazzling light displays nearby, and if your kiddos get as wide-eyed as mine do with those colorful twinkling displays, then you might want to consider making Christmas lights a yearly tradition.
Candlelight Services (December 18) - One of the beautiful things about the season is having the opportunity - churchgoer or not - to attend a service where you light candles and sing Christmas carols. If you're not religious, it's a time to focus on the peace and beauty of the season, and if you are a person of faith, it is a time to remember what it's all about.
Christmas Vacation (December 25) - No! I don't mean the silly movie with the squirrel in the Christmas tree. I'm talking about the week following Christmas, when we're all on sugar overload and worrying about New Year's resolutions and credit card bills. Let's talk about some ways we can keep that Christmas spirit going into the new year, by making some post-Christmas family traditions that put the "memory" in "memorable."
So stay tuned! We have a fun, dazzling month ahead, and it's always good, when you're getting stressed, to repeat this: "Christmas only comes once a year."
Thursday, November 13, 2014
Just hear those wallets jingling - Five reasons to shop local this Christmas
It's that time of year - time to get your wallet ready and your credit card warmed up. Time to find all the gifts for all the right people.
I've got to sit down. This is overwhelming already.
This November, Mom Around Town is taking on the topic of where to spend those holiday dollars in the effort to do Christmas shopping right. In future posts, I'll be talking about the pros/cons of shopping at major retailers and online outlets, but for now, I want to talk about keeping that shopping money local.
Local businesses are in quite the fight for life in most cities. With major retailers and online giants competing by sheer economy of scale, the little guys have to offer what the giants can't, and that means they often do something pretty cool - they take special care of the other little guys. That's right - you and me, the shoppers.
As I explored the crazy world of Christmas shopping, I came across five reasons I might shop local this holiday season:
1. Personalized attention. Have you ever walked into a large retail store, needed some help, and were met by the sound of crickets? Yep, I've been there. You feel kind of goofy, walking through a place calling, "Hello? Hello?" But this isn't true at most small shops. "If you need help or don't have a clue what to get someone, we have someone to help you," says Patti Tepper-Rasmussen, owner of the Learning Tree in Oklahoma City and Edmond.
2. Ready, wrap, go! Available help isn't the only thing a store like The Learning Tree has to offer. They will also wrap a gift, getting it ready for you before you even leave the store. And they're not the only ones. Many local businesses are especially helpful at Christmas, willing to go the extra mile by getting a present boxed up or putting in a special order and calling you personally when it arrives.
3. Expertise. Another aspect of shopping at locally-owned business goes hand in hand with reason #1. Not only will someone usually be available to help, but often personnel have expertise in what's being sold. "I can choose something that is best for a certain age of child," promises Learning Tree's Patti. She also says a local store may be more willing to demonstrate how items work, happy to spend time and build solid relationships with their customers.
4. Good prices! No, really! If you think you'll pay through the nose by shopping local, that's not necessarily true. Programs like the "Keep it Local OK" card and the "Allied Arts OKC" card apply to many local stores, and when you put those businesses' personalized attention with the lower prices, the value of utilizing these small stores goes way, way up.
5. And finally, put your money where your home is. "Keep sales tax money in your city and state!" urges Patti. If you shop here, the city and state benefit directly, because businesses pay taxes too, in addition to sales tax. And who wouldn't want to get money back?
So there you have it. As you and your credit card do warm-up calf stretches together, just keep all that in mind. Then go forth and buy presents.
And stay tuned next week as we talk about the pros/cons of major retail shopping!
I've got to sit down. This is overwhelming already.
This November, Mom Around Town is taking on the topic of where to spend those holiday dollars in the effort to do Christmas shopping right. In future posts, I'll be talking about the pros/cons of shopping at major retailers and online outlets, but for now, I want to talk about keeping that shopping money local.
Local businesses are in quite the fight for life in most cities. With major retailers and online giants competing by sheer economy of scale, the little guys have to offer what the giants can't, and that means they often do something pretty cool - they take special care of the other little guys. That's right - you and me, the shoppers.
As I explored the crazy world of Christmas shopping, I came across five reasons I might shop local this holiday season:
1. Personalized attention. Have you ever walked into a large retail store, needed some help, and were met by the sound of crickets? Yep, I've been there. You feel kind of goofy, walking through a place calling, "Hello? Hello?" But this isn't true at most small shops. "If you need help or don't have a clue what to get someone, we have someone to help you," says Patti Tepper-Rasmussen, owner of the Learning Tree in Oklahoma City and Edmond.
2. Ready, wrap, go! Available help isn't the only thing a store like The Learning Tree has to offer. They will also wrap a gift, getting it ready for you before you even leave the store. And they're not the only ones. Many local businesses are especially helpful at Christmas, willing to go the extra mile by getting a present boxed up or putting in a special order and calling you personally when it arrives.
3. Expertise. Another aspect of shopping at locally-owned business goes hand in hand with reason #1. Not only will someone usually be available to help, but often personnel have expertise in what's being sold. "I can choose something that is best for a certain age of child," promises Learning Tree's Patti. She also says a local store may be more willing to demonstrate how items work, happy to spend time and build solid relationships with their customers.
4. Good prices! No, really! If you think you'll pay through the nose by shopping local, that's not necessarily true. Programs like the "Keep it Local OK" card and the "Allied Arts OKC" card apply to many local stores, and when you put those businesses' personalized attention with the lower prices, the value of utilizing these small stores goes way, way up.
5. And finally, put your money where your home is. "Keep sales tax money in your city and state!" urges Patti. If you shop here, the city and state benefit directly, because businesses pay taxes too, in addition to sales tax. And who wouldn't want to get money back?
So there you have it. As you and your credit card do warm-up calf stretches together, just keep all that in mind. Then go forth and buy presents.
And stay tuned next week as we talk about the pros/cons of major retail shopping!
Thursday, November 6, 2014
Just hear those wallets jingling, ring-ting-tingling too - Taking on holiday shopping
Recently, my toddler's childcare program said they'd be giving parents a rebate. "Just choose the month you want it," the director said. "I'm guessing most people will choose December because of Christmas."
"Hah!" I replied. "Put me down for January, because that's when the credit card bill for Christmas is due."
And she laughed. "Right."
Really, we're both right, because most of us will start gearing up this month - November - for fulfilling those Christmas lists. We've got to figure out who's getting what as well as what the big item for those kiddos will be, because we all know there won't be any Olaf's from Frozen left sitting on the shelves that last week before Christmas.
But here's the thing. Shopping in general has changed over the past ten years. A lot. Now, aided by online outlets, we have more choices than ever for spending those holiday bucks, so how do you decide where to spend your shopping efforts?
Enter our topic for the month: Eeenie, meanie, miney, mo - if I'm Christmas shopping, where do I go?
Local Stores - On November 13, we will be discussing the benefits of shopping local, with wise words from one of our own local vendors, as well as a rundown of the deals a parent can take advantage of if they put their money back into small, locally-owned businesses.
Local Retailers - On November 20, we'll discuss the pros and cons of heading to your local chain retailer, the deals you can sometimes score through discount programs, and their holiday specials. We'll also review whether you should have a parka and tent ready in preparation for the morning of Black Friday.
Online Retailers - And finally, on November 27 (Happy Thanksgiving!), just a few days before "Black Monday," we will discuss the pros and cons of spending those holiday dollars online. Many of us believe things are cheaper/more available on line. Is that true? What are the benefits of shopping in pink bunny pajamas (besides being able to wear pink bunny pajamas)? What are the drawbacks? An expert in online purchasing will weigh in on the matter!
So stay tuned! And get those wallets ready to go. Because something is going to slim down by Christmas, and I'm afraid to say, it's probably not your waistline.
But that's part of the fun, right?
"Hah!" I replied. "Put me down for January, because that's when the credit card bill for Christmas is due."
And she laughed. "Right."
Really, we're both right, because most of us will start gearing up this month - November - for fulfilling those Christmas lists. We've got to figure out who's getting what as well as what the big item for those kiddos will be, because we all know there won't be any Olaf's from Frozen left sitting on the shelves that last week before Christmas.
But here's the thing. Shopping in general has changed over the past ten years. A lot. Now, aided by online outlets, we have more choices than ever for spending those holiday bucks, so how do you decide where to spend your shopping efforts?
Enter our topic for the month: Eeenie, meanie, miney, mo - if I'm Christmas shopping, where do I go?
Local Stores - On November 13, we will be discussing the benefits of shopping local, with wise words from one of our own local vendors, as well as a rundown of the deals a parent can take advantage of if they put their money back into small, locally-owned businesses.
Local Retailers - On November 20, we'll discuss the pros and cons of heading to your local chain retailer, the deals you can sometimes score through discount programs, and their holiday specials. We'll also review whether you should have a parka and tent ready in preparation for the morning of Black Friday.
Online Retailers - And finally, on November 27 (Happy Thanksgiving!), just a few days before "Black Monday," we will discuss the pros and cons of spending those holiday dollars online. Many of us believe things are cheaper/more available on line. Is that true? What are the benefits of shopping in pink bunny pajamas (besides being able to wear pink bunny pajamas)? What are the drawbacks? An expert in online purchasing will weigh in on the matter!
So stay tuned! And get those wallets ready to go. Because something is going to slim down by Christmas, and I'm afraid to say, it's probably not your waistline.
But that's part of the fun, right?
Thursday, October 30, 2014
Fall into FUN! - But be a safe trick or treater too
I have to say, having two small children who can be bended to my creative will is pretty fun. First year with two kids, we did Cinderella and a pumpkin. Second year? Ariel and Sebastian. This year? Elsa and Olaf. Can you see a trend here? Well, I know time is short. Eventually, my son will assert his own will, and the Disney princess theme will be out for him.
But for now...it's all good. And super, super cute.
However, as we get ready to take to the neighborhood streets on tomorrow's night of fright (man, that sounds so much grittier than it actually is in a neighborhood like mine!), one thing this OCD mama isn't going to do is get too comfortable and relaxed about safety. No matter how docile your neighborhood is, here are five tips, poached from various sources and my own experience, that will keep everyone a little safer on this spooky night.
1. Light the night. You don't have to go all crazy with reflective material. There are definitely better, more fun ways to keep those kids bright and shiny in the dark. Not only do stores sell cute, battery-operated lanterns now, but an even easier, cooler, and cheaper way to light those kids up is with glow necklaces, bracelets, wands, etc. You can buy a ton for a low price, and I bet the kids won't complain at all!
2. Know where you're going. Sometimes, certain neighborhoods are heralded as "the place to trick or treat." And there's nothing wrong with that. But it helps if you know someone in the neighborhood you are planning to visit, and if not, think twice about visiting strange doors. Well-lighted streets with sidewalks are a huge bonus, and it's always better when you can go with a bigger group.
3. Stay close. If your children are small, this is a no brainer. You will be walking hand in hand with them (remember, if there are no sidewalks, walk against traffic and keep the little ones on the inside!). However, if your kids are older and expect more independence, sticking close can be a bit of a challenge. Don't fret. Learn to compromise, whether that means you'll be following them in the car, parking on the corner, or checking in with them at various times.
4. You know the drill. No unwrapped candy! Hate to be a party pooper here, but I'm suspicious of anything that doesn't come in a store bought wrapper. Maybe homemade pumpkin cookies are super, super cute, but if something's not sealed, you take your chances! And that's a scary thought.
5. Finally, double check the costume. Is it highly flammable? Something your child can trip in? What about shoes? Will your little one be complaining of barking feet before you make it one street? Make sure your child is warm and comfortable for an evening trek.
Well, I hope this helps! I'm certainly ready for tomorrow. In addition to my little Elsa and Olaf, the hubby agreed to don reindeer antlers (to be Sven), and I have a snowflake necklace and white hairspray to go as "Winter." And if we get bored with trick or treating, maybe the four of us will simply go build a snowman.
You know, if this were a snowy place and all.
That's all for October! Stay tuned next month when we take on holiday shopping!
But for now...it's all good. And super, super cute.
However, as we get ready to take to the neighborhood streets on tomorrow's night of fright (man, that sounds so much grittier than it actually is in a neighborhood like mine!), one thing this OCD mama isn't going to do is get too comfortable and relaxed about safety. No matter how docile your neighborhood is, here are five tips, poached from various sources and my own experience, that will keep everyone a little safer on this spooky night.
1. Light the night. You don't have to go all crazy with reflective material. There are definitely better, more fun ways to keep those kids bright and shiny in the dark. Not only do stores sell cute, battery-operated lanterns now, but an even easier, cooler, and cheaper way to light those kids up is with glow necklaces, bracelets, wands, etc. You can buy a ton for a low price, and I bet the kids won't complain at all!
2. Know where you're going. Sometimes, certain neighborhoods are heralded as "the place to trick or treat." And there's nothing wrong with that. But it helps if you know someone in the neighborhood you are planning to visit, and if not, think twice about visiting strange doors. Well-lighted streets with sidewalks are a huge bonus, and it's always better when you can go with a bigger group.
3. Stay close. If your children are small, this is a no brainer. You will be walking hand in hand with them (remember, if there are no sidewalks, walk against traffic and keep the little ones on the inside!). However, if your kids are older and expect more independence, sticking close can be a bit of a challenge. Don't fret. Learn to compromise, whether that means you'll be following them in the car, parking on the corner, or checking in with them at various times.
4. You know the drill. No unwrapped candy! Hate to be a party pooper here, but I'm suspicious of anything that doesn't come in a store bought wrapper. Maybe homemade pumpkin cookies are super, super cute, but if something's not sealed, you take your chances! And that's a scary thought.
5. Finally, double check the costume. Is it highly flammable? Something your child can trip in? What about shoes? Will your little one be complaining of barking feet before you make it one street? Make sure your child is warm and comfortable for an evening trek.
Well, I hope this helps! I'm certainly ready for tomorrow. In addition to my little Elsa and Olaf, the hubby agreed to don reindeer antlers (to be Sven), and I have a snowflake necklace and white hairspray to go as "Winter." And if we get bored with trick or treating, maybe the four of us will simply go build a snowman.
You know, if this were a snowy place and all.
That's all for October! Stay tuned next month when we take on holiday shopping!
Thursday, October 16, 2014
Fall into FUN - Getting happy/spooky at Storybook Forest
Well, the Olaf costume came just yesterday, and my two-year-old son is pretty pumped - to look at it. No worries, I'm sure he'll be ready for it's cuddly warmth when Storybook Forest opens on October 23.
Fingers crossed the weather will cooperate.
Anyway, my little guy is trying to figure out this Halloween thingy, so his older sister now has him doing the craziest thing. First he says "Happy" with a bright smile, followed by "Spooky" in an obligatory deep voice and complimented by wide eyes. (Update...we discovered they learned this from an episode of Team Umizoomi).
It's so very funny. And it reminds me of exactly what Storybook Forest feels like to me. First off, there's nothing like driving up to Lake Arcadia, parking, and breathing in the smell of campfire as people roast marshmallows and sit on hay bales. This is all before you get in line for the main event - the "forest." You enter under a sign that says, "Once Upon a Time," which sets you on a wooded path.
Spooky!
Once on the path, you begin a journey through nursery rhymes and fairy tales. One of the first things you'll see is Rapunzel letting down her hair and throwing candy at you.
Happy!
Of course, as you wind through the fairy tales, your child receives more candy at each one. (BTW, don't forget your trick or treat buckets! I've learned my lesson the hard way, with coat pockets stuffed to the brim with melting chocolate!) You may find some of the setups a little disturbing, but nothing too scary for the kids - Snow White, the three little pigs, and Hansel and Gretel's witch, to name a few.
Spooky!
At the end of the trail, one finally arrives at the hayride (get there early, as the line gets long) and carnival type games that bring back those fall festivals my school used to have. Little prizes can be added to your child's candy stash, and your little one will go home with the scent of autumn in their spirit and their hair (I means, seriously, that campfire smell really sticks around!).
Happy!
So check it out, and if you haven't already, check out last week's post on the Parkhurst Pumpkin Patch. Because autumn comes 'round only once a year, and if you blink, you'll miss it.
Spooky!
Fingers crossed the weather will cooperate.
Anyway, my little guy is trying to figure out this Halloween thingy, so his older sister now has him doing the craziest thing. First he says "Happy" with a bright smile, followed by "Spooky" in an obligatory deep voice and complimented by wide eyes. (Update...we discovered they learned this from an episode of Team Umizoomi).
It's so very funny. And it reminds me of exactly what Storybook Forest feels like to me. First off, there's nothing like driving up to Lake Arcadia, parking, and breathing in the smell of campfire as people roast marshmallows and sit on hay bales. This is all before you get in line for the main event - the "forest." You enter under a sign that says, "Once Upon a Time," which sets you on a wooded path.
 |
| Lake Arcadia at dusk, right before heading into Storybook Forest! |
Spooky!
Once on the path, you begin a journey through nursery rhymes and fairy tales. One of the first things you'll see is Rapunzel letting down her hair and throwing candy at you.
Happy!
Of course, as you wind through the fairy tales, your child receives more candy at each one. (BTW, don't forget your trick or treat buckets! I've learned my lesson the hard way, with coat pockets stuffed to the brim with melting chocolate!) You may find some of the setups a little disturbing, but nothing too scary for the kids - Snow White, the three little pigs, and Hansel and Gretel's witch, to name a few.
Spooky!
At the end of the trail, one finally arrives at the hayride (get there early, as the line gets long) and carnival type games that bring back those fall festivals my school used to have. Little prizes can be added to your child's candy stash, and your little one will go home with the scent of autumn in their spirit and their hair (I means, seriously, that campfire smell really sticks around!).
Happy!
So check it out, and if you haven't already, check out last week's post on the Parkhurst Pumpkin Patch. Because autumn comes 'round only once a year, and if you blink, you'll miss it.
Spooky!
Thursday, September 25, 2014
It's time for a parent time out - Pamper youself (Go on, now. Just do it!)
I used to be pretty awesome at taking care of myself. My hair was cut on a regular basis, I shopped frequently to have the right "look," and when I needed a girls' night, I gosh darn put one of those things together.
You know the next line in my story: "And then I had kids..."
I will give you Oklahoma girls some credit. When I show up to the elementary school, I very often appear as though I just stepped out of a wind tunnel and/or got dressed in the dark. On the other hand, perfectly coifed moms, headed to the office or not, surround me, and I shrink into my fluorescent tennis shoes and chant in my head, "Don't see me. Don't see me."
But my rushed mornings aside, I realize that, as a parent, many of us can get caught up in letting ourselves fade into the background. This doesn't just mean style alludes our neglected wardrobes, but also that our spirits and bodies get sacrificed on the alter of supreme parenthood. And it is so cool that we're so dedicated. Yes, patting myself on the back right now. But keeping with the theme for this month, I want to ask this: does neglecting yourself necessarily make you the best parent?
The verdict of the experts has been a resounding "no." In this blog series, we've already talked about relaxation and physical activity as items that are essential to a good parent's toolbox. But what about going that extra step? What about pampering yourself, just every so often? And if you did that, what would it look like?
Here are a few examples:
Hobbies: I enjoy running, and I'll admit it's easier to fit in than other hobbies. My other hobby is playing the piano, but it always seems to get pushed to the back of my schedule. Some of you may enjoy a round of golf, or maybe even joining a hobbyist group, like one that focuses on a craft. It's important for our children to see us making time to do things that relax us (beyond zoning out in front of the television). Why? Because monkey see, monkey do.
Personal time: One thing my husband and I enjoy is the quiet time we have between putting the kids down and going to bed ourselves. That time can be used for just about anything (I try to stay away from social media during that period, which can sometimes up my anxiety levels). Whether you like journaling, reading, or doing devotions, it's important to find a time of day that is uniquely yours. If you don't currently have that, see where it might naturally fit in your schedule.
Support: Whether it's a Bible study group or the aforementioned group of hobbyists, meeting with others outside your family to pursue similar interests can be refreshing. Whether this is a weekly meet up, or you simply put together a girls or boys' night out, socialization with other parents is its own form of pampering yourself.
Shopping: This is one you have to take in stride. Mismanaging money or overspending can certainly lead to more stress, so make sure you know your limit before you head out to shop. But treating yourself every once in a while to a new piece of clothing or long-awaited electronic device reminds you and your family that all that hard-earned money doesn't just go to those kiddos (and it's good for them to realize that too).
Lookin' and feelin' good: A day at the spa? A massage? Maybe it's not an every week type of thing, (or maybe not even every month), but every once is a while, it's good to have someone take care of you, even if that's just spending thirty minutes getting a haircut.
Because what it comes down to is this: taking care of yourself is not selfish. It shows your kids that you value yourself, and that gives them a model for valuing themselves. Obviously, we have to balance the behavior of taking care of ourselves with other behaviors that show we care about others, but neglecting yourself doesn't have to be the name of the parenting game.
Well, that wraps up our series on taking a "parent time out." Next month we head into local fall activities that will get you in the spirit of the autumn season. So stay tuned!
You know the next line in my story: "And then I had kids..."
I will give you Oklahoma girls some credit. When I show up to the elementary school, I very often appear as though I just stepped out of a wind tunnel and/or got dressed in the dark. On the other hand, perfectly coifed moms, headed to the office or not, surround me, and I shrink into my fluorescent tennis shoes and chant in my head, "Don't see me. Don't see me."
But my rushed mornings aside, I realize that, as a parent, many of us can get caught up in letting ourselves fade into the background. This doesn't just mean style alludes our neglected wardrobes, but also that our spirits and bodies get sacrificed on the alter of supreme parenthood. And it is so cool that we're so dedicated. Yes, patting myself on the back right now. But keeping with the theme for this month, I want to ask this: does neglecting yourself necessarily make you the best parent?
The verdict of the experts has been a resounding "no." In this blog series, we've already talked about relaxation and physical activity as items that are essential to a good parent's toolbox. But what about going that extra step? What about pampering yourself, just every so often? And if you did that, what would it look like?
Here are a few examples:
Hobbies: I enjoy running, and I'll admit it's easier to fit in than other hobbies. My other hobby is playing the piano, but it always seems to get pushed to the back of my schedule. Some of you may enjoy a round of golf, or maybe even joining a hobbyist group, like one that focuses on a craft. It's important for our children to see us making time to do things that relax us (beyond zoning out in front of the television). Why? Because monkey see, monkey do.
Personal time: One thing my husband and I enjoy is the quiet time we have between putting the kids down and going to bed ourselves. That time can be used for just about anything (I try to stay away from social media during that period, which can sometimes up my anxiety levels). Whether you like journaling, reading, or doing devotions, it's important to find a time of day that is uniquely yours. If you don't currently have that, see where it might naturally fit in your schedule.
Support: Whether it's a Bible study group or the aforementioned group of hobbyists, meeting with others outside your family to pursue similar interests can be refreshing. Whether this is a weekly meet up, or you simply put together a girls or boys' night out, socialization with other parents is its own form of pampering yourself.
Shopping: This is one you have to take in stride. Mismanaging money or overspending can certainly lead to more stress, so make sure you know your limit before you head out to shop. But treating yourself every once in a while to a new piece of clothing or long-awaited electronic device reminds you and your family that all that hard-earned money doesn't just go to those kiddos (and it's good for them to realize that too).
Lookin' and feelin' good: A day at the spa? A massage? Maybe it's not an every week type of thing, (or maybe not even every month), but every once is a while, it's good to have someone take care of you, even if that's just spending thirty minutes getting a haircut.
Because what it comes down to is this: taking care of yourself is not selfish. It shows your kids that you value yourself, and that gives them a model for valuing themselves. Obviously, we have to balance the behavior of taking care of ourselves with other behaviors that show we care about others, but neglecting yourself doesn't have to be the name of the parenting game.
Well, that wraps up our series on taking a "parent time out." Next month we head into local fall activities that will get you in the spirit of the autumn season. So stay tuned!
Thursday, September 18, 2014
It's time for a parent time out - Taking a moment for better health
Once upon a time, I was a running freak. I could zap five miles before you blinked away the sleep at 6:30 a.m. People thought I was crazy. I was crazy. And then on my lunch break, I would go do conditioning exercises in the fitness gym at the office.
And I was like, "Why don't other people work out? I can fit this in."
Well, I'd like to tell my formerly clueless self that some people have children. Some people have to make sure that lunches, homework, permission slips, various payments, and a boatload of other things are ready to go every morning. Some people have to make sure that little ones have eaten, look decent, brushed their teeth, gone potty, and made the bed (eh, maybe, maybe not on that last one). Some people have teachers' conferences, sports activities, school events, and things to volunteer for.
Yeah, it's not practical fitting mega workouts in as a parent. And now I know.
But here's the thing. Keeping yourself healthy is still important, especially for parents. Kelli Crockett, Health and Wellness Director at the Mitch ParkYMCA, says parents who take care of themselves have the opportunity to be there for their kids longer just by being healthy. In fact, she gave several tips for taking time for yourself and fitting in that physical activity. Here's the highlights:
Find a workout place that caters to those with kiddos. Health centers and gyms are keeping up with our busy society. Many provide childwatch areas now, so parents with younger children can fit in a quick workout without hiring a babysitter or switching off. The Mitch Park YMCA has some other options as well, including a Y-cade (video game exercise equipment) for 7 to 13 year-olds and the opportunity to workout with your teenager.
Make it a habit. "Incorporate activity into your every day," encourages Crockett. Many parents find that doing some physical activity to start their day is the best option, but there are plenty of other choices. The thing is being consistent with your workouts, so it's important to find something you like and that you can stick with. Sometimes getting to the gym can be difficult with long work hours, so invest in your health with an elliptical or treadmill, where you can stay at the house and still get in a workout. Or maybe get a group of moms or dads together two or three times a week to run or bike. The more seamless you can make the workout with your day, the better chance you'll have of sticking with it.
Recruit the kiddos, if necessary. Finally, Crockett emphasized that if you can't get away from the kids for a workout, never fear. Choose to be active when you're with your kids. If you're at the park, get off the smart phone and play with your kids, kicking or throwing a ball or even playing tag. At home, turn off the TV and turn on some booty-shaking music. Throw a mini dance party (I highly recommend Madagascar's "Move It, Move It" song). Maybe it seems silly. Then again, not only will you benefit, but those kids will reap the awards too.
So, I hope I've encouraged you to ditch the couch potato that reclines inside all of us! Next week, we head into something everyone will love - making time to pamper yourself!
And I was like, "Why don't other people work out? I can fit this in."
Well, I'd like to tell my formerly clueless self that some people have children. Some people have to make sure that lunches, homework, permission slips, various payments, and a boatload of other things are ready to go every morning. Some people have to make sure that little ones have eaten, look decent, brushed their teeth, gone potty, and made the bed (eh, maybe, maybe not on that last one). Some people have teachers' conferences, sports activities, school events, and things to volunteer for.
Yeah, it's not practical fitting mega workouts in as a parent. And now I know.
But here's the thing. Keeping yourself healthy is still important, especially for parents. Kelli Crockett, Health and Wellness Director at the Mitch ParkYMCA, says parents who take care of themselves have the opportunity to be there for their kids longer just by being healthy. In fact, she gave several tips for taking time for yourself and fitting in that physical activity. Here's the highlights:
Find a workout place that caters to those with kiddos. Health centers and gyms are keeping up with our busy society. Many provide childwatch areas now, so parents with younger children can fit in a quick workout without hiring a babysitter or switching off. The Mitch Park YMCA has some other options as well, including a Y-cade (video game exercise equipment) for 7 to 13 year-olds and the opportunity to workout with your teenager.
Make it a habit. "Incorporate activity into your every day," encourages Crockett. Many parents find that doing some physical activity to start their day is the best option, but there are plenty of other choices. The thing is being consistent with your workouts, so it's important to find something you like and that you can stick with. Sometimes getting to the gym can be difficult with long work hours, so invest in your health with an elliptical or treadmill, where you can stay at the house and still get in a workout. Or maybe get a group of moms or dads together two or three times a week to run or bike. The more seamless you can make the workout with your day, the better chance you'll have of sticking with it.
Recruit the kiddos, if necessary. Finally, Crockett emphasized that if you can't get away from the kids for a workout, never fear. Choose to be active when you're with your kids. If you're at the park, get off the smart phone and play with your kids, kicking or throwing a ball or even playing tag. At home, turn off the TV and turn on some booty-shaking music. Throw a mini dance party (I highly recommend Madagascar's "Move It, Move It" song). Maybe it seems silly. Then again, not only will you benefit, but those kids will reap the awards too.
So, I hope I've encouraged you to ditch the couch potato that reclines inside all of us! Next week, we head into something everyone will love - making time to pamper yourself!
Thursday, September 11, 2014
It's time for a parent time out - Achieving a state of relaxation
A Chinese proverb states: "Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are."
As parents, the term relaxation is one that conjures up sandy beaches, aroma therapy candles, and Pina Coladas. Or maybe, for you, a hike in the woods, a trip to the movies, or the hands of a paid professional (otherwise known as massage therapy) is more to your Zen liking.
But you're a parent! Who has time for that stuff?
Well, get ready to give yourself a time out. Why? According to Sheila Stinnett, a licensed professional counselor at Edmond Family Counseling, parents who take time for themselves, even just a little each day, are less frustrated and less reactive. What does that mean? It means those of us who aren't frazzled can respond more positively to a situation. And in the long (and short) run, that's a good thing for our kiddos.
For instance, today is the anniversary of a pretty traumatic event for our country, upping the stress and frustration levels long before we step out that door. How can you take time today - or any day - to get yourself back to a place where you can be the parent you want to be?
Stinnett asserts that even the smallest thing--such as sitting in your car and listening to a favorite song, daily journaling or blogging, or even a quick bath, can help recharge us. And scheduled activities, such as group activities like Bible studies or exercise classes, can ensure we make a commitment to get some time to ourselves.
Katy Jones, from Edmond's Yoga Verve studio, agrees, saying, "Anything that gives a parent time for themselves is good for the psyche - whether it's visiting my studio, going for a walk, playing the guitar, etc. As long as they have time to decompress in the way they feel best, I'm for it." She tells me that yoga in particular "allows you to let go of outside stressors and be in the moment, which takes a lot of work. The focus on the breath combined with movement keeps the brain fixed on one thing and lets the practitioner be present in the here and now."
Well, I'm certainly listening, especially since I realized that last week, when I stuck work in every portion of my day where my kids were either at school or sleeping, I started to get a little snappy. And that's a good lesson for all of us that we can't go, go, go all the time. Exercise. Read a good book. Take some time to smell those proverbial roses. Because at the end of the day, you want to be a great parent, and as we all know, everyone needs a timeout every once in a while!
And stay tuned next week for more on the parent's time out, as we continue to chat about the importance of exercise!
As parents, the term relaxation is one that conjures up sandy beaches, aroma therapy candles, and Pina Coladas. Or maybe, for you, a hike in the woods, a trip to the movies, or the hands of a paid professional (otherwise known as massage therapy) is more to your Zen liking.
But you're a parent! Who has time for that stuff?
Well, get ready to give yourself a time out. Why? According to Sheila Stinnett, a licensed professional counselor at Edmond Family Counseling, parents who take time for themselves, even just a little each day, are less frustrated and less reactive. What does that mean? It means those of us who aren't frazzled can respond more positively to a situation. And in the long (and short) run, that's a good thing for our kiddos.
For instance, today is the anniversary of a pretty traumatic event for our country, upping the stress and frustration levels long before we step out that door. How can you take time today - or any day - to get yourself back to a place where you can be the parent you want to be?
Stinnett asserts that even the smallest thing--such as sitting in your car and listening to a favorite song, daily journaling or blogging, or even a quick bath, can help recharge us. And scheduled activities, such as group activities like Bible studies or exercise classes, can ensure we make a commitment to get some time to ourselves.
Katy Jones, from Edmond's Yoga Verve studio, agrees, saying, "Anything that gives a parent time for themselves is good for the psyche - whether it's visiting my studio, going for a walk, playing the guitar, etc. As long as they have time to decompress in the way they feel best, I'm for it." She tells me that yoga in particular "allows you to let go of outside stressors and be in the moment, which takes a lot of work. The focus on the breath combined with movement keeps the brain fixed on one thing and lets the practitioner be present in the here and now."
Well, I'm certainly listening, especially since I realized that last week, when I stuck work in every portion of my day where my kids were either at school or sleeping, I started to get a little snappy. And that's a good lesson for all of us that we can't go, go, go all the time. Exercise. Read a good book. Take some time to smell those proverbial roses. Because at the end of the day, you want to be a great parent, and as we all know, everyone needs a timeout every once in a while!
And stay tuned next week for more on the parent's time out, as we continue to chat about the importance of exercise!
Thursday, September 4, 2014
It's time for a time out - A parent's guide to staying sane
If you've read any of the Mom Around Town blogs or Community Connections columns, you know one thing by now: I love my kiddos. Yeah, I joke around quite a bit and tell you silly things that prove I'm totally an overwhelmed parent. But at the end of the day - I mean, seriously, at the very end of it, every night - I'm in my kids' rooms, checking on them and whispering, "I can't imagine my life without you."
However...I can imagine several minutes away from them.
We live in a busy, busy culture. In a world of dual-incomes, insane extra-curricular schedules, and geez-I've-got-to-be-awesome-so-I'd-better-volunteer-my-rear-off society, parents don't really have time to sit on a picnic blanket and consider the universe. Once the kiddos make their appearance, it is GO time, and it leaves most of us gasping for breath.
Enter the parents' time out.
You want to be a great parent, right? You even read my whole blog series on perfectly imperfect parenting, yeah? You know if you work hard enough, you'll earn those "Best Mom" and "Best Dad" mugs your children give you (if your kids give you something else, don't worry; it just means you raised someone with a different outlook on life).
But one thing that's important to staying sane - kids or no kids - is taking some "me" time. And believe me, I know it feels weird to be what you might consider selfish, or maybe you simply don't feel there is even a second you could take for yourself. But listen: if you don't take care of yourself, you're not doing your kids any favors.
However, don't take my word for it. As always, I'd like to emphasize that I write about parenting, but I'm no expert. Instead, I find people who are experts in their field, and we all learn together.
So, get ready for a month filled with me-time.
September 11 - This is still a stressful day for most of us - sad and frustrating. It's a good time to talk about how we can take time to relax our bodies and renew our minds, focusing on activities that will positively affect our spirits (and the way we treat those kiddos!).
September 18 - Exercise! Now, now...don't groan when I'm talking to you. We are going to get down and sweaty about why it's important to stay fit and work up those endorphins!
September 25 - Let's talk about what it means to treat yourself! Are you being selfish if you head out to the spa for the day? How can you balance the time you need to recharge with family time, and what should that ratio look like? Let's discuss!
So I hope you're as excited as I am to get down to the nitty gritty on this topic. Besides, the holidays are right around the corner, and it's time to get serious about getting recharged.
However...I can imagine several minutes away from them.
We live in a busy, busy culture. In a world of dual-incomes, insane extra-curricular schedules, and geez-I've-got-to-be-awesome-so-I'd-better-volunteer-my-rear-off society, parents don't really have time to sit on a picnic blanket and consider the universe. Once the kiddos make their appearance, it is GO time, and it leaves most of us gasping for breath.
Enter the parents' time out.
You want to be a great parent, right? You even read my whole blog series on perfectly imperfect parenting, yeah? You know if you work hard enough, you'll earn those "Best Mom" and "Best Dad" mugs your children give you (if your kids give you something else, don't worry; it just means you raised someone with a different outlook on life).
But one thing that's important to staying sane - kids or no kids - is taking some "me" time. And believe me, I know it feels weird to be what you might consider selfish, or maybe you simply don't feel there is even a second you could take for yourself. But listen: if you don't take care of yourself, you're not doing your kids any favors.
However, don't take my word for it. As always, I'd like to emphasize that I write about parenting, but I'm no expert. Instead, I find people who are experts in their field, and we all learn together.
So, get ready for a month filled with me-time.
September 11 - This is still a stressful day for most of us - sad and frustrating. It's a good time to talk about how we can take time to relax our bodies and renew our minds, focusing on activities that will positively affect our spirits (and the way we treat those kiddos!).
September 18 - Exercise! Now, now...don't groan when I'm talking to you. We are going to get down and sweaty about why it's important to stay fit and work up those endorphins!
September 25 - Let's talk about what it means to treat yourself! Are you being selfish if you head out to the spa for the day? How can you balance the time you need to recharge with family time, and what should that ratio look like? Let's discuss!
So I hope you're as excited as I am to get down to the nitty gritty on this topic. Besides, the holidays are right around the corner, and it's time to get serious about getting recharged.
Thursday, August 28, 2014
Perfectly imperfect - Weathering rough waters
We all have our moments. You know, the those times when you struggle to do what's right, act the way you should, or take the right road. The ones where you might as well be a toddler, because you're throwing a tantrum or need a time out.
Well, our kids have those moments too.
None of us are perfect. We are human. We can try to be the perfect person...the perfect friend...the perfect employee...the perfect parent. But doing everything right all the time just doesn't happen. Consequently, our children are just as human as we are, and you know what? That's okay.
But because you are the parent, what do you do when you run into the same behavioral problem time and time again? How do you handle a lapse in judgment or motivation in your child, while still accepting they're not always going to do things right?
Well, like so many of you, I'm a parent-in-training. In fact, I'm not sure any of us will ever actually graduate from that. And that's because every stage of life - both in ours and in our children's - presents us with new challenges. But when it comes to the challenge of overcoming difficult behavior, I was able to lean on some local experts to get some pointers.
Listen. The number one thing a parent can do when a child is struggling is try to gain a sense of what the root of the problem may be. That means you have to hear what your child has to say and go from there. Jackie Shaw, a licensed professional counselor and the director of Edmond Family Counseling recommends, "A goal to strive for is this: the ability to listen nonjudgmentally! This is very difficult but worth the effort. Sometimes young people don't want advice; they want to be heard."
Be a team. Sometimes, showing your kids that you guys are both on the same side will help them overcome an issue. "Collaborate with your children," says Evan Tims, a Counselor at Cross Timbers Elementary. She adds it's important to communicate that you care about your child, especially his or her success in school and life beyond. Telling your children that you are on their side, that you are intervening in problematic behavior for their benefit, goes a long way toward solving the problem.
Communicate. Did I just say something about communicating? I did! But this can go beyond talking to (and listening to) your child. Cordell Ehrich, principal at Cimarron Middle School in Edmond, encourages parents to schedule a meeting with teachers or school counselors if their children are struggling to behave in their environment. "The school is a resource for parents, and we want to help you overcome any problems."
Give...and take. At the end of the day, discipline is a parent's responsibility. Even if you listen to your child and try to talk through the problem, the appropriate way to address a problem ultimately comes down to understanding your child and what restrictions/grounding will motivate him or her to modify personally destructive behaviors. However, Michael Stranz, Edmond father of four grown children, had this to say about raising his kids: "We explained to them that they each earned/gained the right to be treated as adults based on the way they conducted themselves." I can say that, when I was a child, I was definitely motivated to gain more independence and trust, and my behavior reflected that desire. Some kids will respond to the promise (and responsibility) of freedom more proactively than others, but using autonomy as a reward for good behavior has one big benefit: we all must learn to be responsible eventually.
Well, that wraps up this series on perfectly imperfect parenting. I hope you've learned what you could from my awesome panel of experts, as well as discovered things about what type of parent you want to be.
And stay tuned next month for something a little less intense...taking time out for yourself!
Well, our kids have those moments too.
None of us are perfect. We are human. We can try to be the perfect person...the perfect friend...the perfect employee...the perfect parent. But doing everything right all the time just doesn't happen. Consequently, our children are just as human as we are, and you know what? That's okay.
But because you are the parent, what do you do when you run into the same behavioral problem time and time again? How do you handle a lapse in judgment or motivation in your child, while still accepting they're not always going to do things right?
Well, like so many of you, I'm a parent-in-training. In fact, I'm not sure any of us will ever actually graduate from that. And that's because every stage of life - both in ours and in our children's - presents us with new challenges. But when it comes to the challenge of overcoming difficult behavior, I was able to lean on some local experts to get some pointers.
Listen. The number one thing a parent can do when a child is struggling is try to gain a sense of what the root of the problem may be. That means you have to hear what your child has to say and go from there. Jackie Shaw, a licensed professional counselor and the director of Edmond Family Counseling recommends, "A goal to strive for is this: the ability to listen nonjudgmentally! This is very difficult but worth the effort. Sometimes young people don't want advice; they want to be heard."
Be a team. Sometimes, showing your kids that you guys are both on the same side will help them overcome an issue. "Collaborate with your children," says Evan Tims, a Counselor at Cross Timbers Elementary. She adds it's important to communicate that you care about your child, especially his or her success in school and life beyond. Telling your children that you are on their side, that you are intervening in problematic behavior for their benefit, goes a long way toward solving the problem.
Communicate. Did I just say something about communicating? I did! But this can go beyond talking to (and listening to) your child. Cordell Ehrich, principal at Cimarron Middle School in Edmond, encourages parents to schedule a meeting with teachers or school counselors if their children are struggling to behave in their environment. "The school is a resource for parents, and we want to help you overcome any problems."
Give...and take. At the end of the day, discipline is a parent's responsibility. Even if you listen to your child and try to talk through the problem, the appropriate way to address a problem ultimately comes down to understanding your child and what restrictions/grounding will motivate him or her to modify personally destructive behaviors. However, Michael Stranz, Edmond father of four grown children, had this to say about raising his kids: "We explained to them that they each earned/gained the right to be treated as adults based on the way they conducted themselves." I can say that, when I was a child, I was definitely motivated to gain more independence and trust, and my behavior reflected that desire. Some kids will respond to the promise (and responsibility) of freedom more proactively than others, but using autonomy as a reward for good behavior has one big benefit: we all must learn to be responsible eventually.
Well, that wraps up this series on perfectly imperfect parenting. I hope you've learned what you could from my awesome panel of experts, as well as discovered things about what type of parent you want to be.
And stay tuned next month for something a little less intense...taking time out for yourself!
Thursday, August 21, 2014
Perfectly imperfect - Connecting to your child's world
I don't know how much children's programming you've watched over the past few years, but I know I've seen my fair share. Maybe your kiddos are stuck in the land of Paw Patrol, Dora the Explorer, or Jake and the Neverland Pirates. Maybe their taste runs more mature, like My Little Ponies or Phineas and Ferb (did I really just call those shows "more mature"?). Or perhaps they've been sucked into the land of teen drama, either the innocent programs on the Disney Channel, or graduating to darker fare on the CW.
But you know, as much media as we all consume (and obviously, that goes way beyond the world of television - extending to music, phone apps, video games, and social media), how much does it help us understand our children's world? What do we actually learn about them from it?
The answer? Not really all that much. Because your child's world is not on the television, in social media, or in video games. If it is, time for a regroup and refocus, folks. Your children's world is first and foremost the life they lead at school, what they do with their friends, and any activities they do in addition to all that.
So how do you connect to that? Well, I'm no expert, but I did talk to some people who are, and here's the three actions you can take that they all highlighted as fundamental to understanding the world in which your child exists.
Talk to your child...then listen. No matter your work schedule, no matter your home situation, experts agree you should take time to talk to your child every day. For some kids, getting information on their day is an easy task - they're talkers, and all you have to do is pose a question and sit back and listen. For other kids, encouraging information out of them may take more time. But the more you ask, the more you'll learn, which will open doors to knowing what questions really loosen those tight-lipped kiddos.
"Communication with your children is key," says Evan Tims, a guidance counselor at Cross Timbers Elementary in Edmond. She emphasizes that we need to teach ourselves better communication, and how do we do that? Practice. And remember, communication is a two-way street; we have to listen as well.
Connect to the adults who know your child's world outside the home. As we discussed last week, parents who volunteer at their children's schools have a better idea of what their children's daily environment is like. And kids want you there, says Cordell Ehrich, principal of Edmond's Cimarron Middle School, adding, "Face time is important,"
But don't forget to think outside your child's school. Coaches, church leaders, and parents of your children's friends also see your child outside your own home, so taking time to open up a conversation with these particular people will help you not only understand your child's world better, but it will also give you a contact in case of any type of emergency or problem.
Spend time, time, and more time together. When I spoke to Michael Stranz, Edmond father of four grown children, he emphasized that he could never have spent enough time doing the day to day stuff with his kids. As a parent, I think it can sometimes be hard to remember how incredibly fast this is all going to go when you're in the thick of things. But from somebody who's oldest just started full-time school, I have begun to understand what Stranz means.
You only get one shot at this. As parents, we all have work obligations, and we definitely need to take some time out for ourselves. But remember, your child will grow so, so fast. People with grandkids tell me this over and over. And you have to enjoy every moment. I was reminded of this when I took my two-year-old to the zoo just two days ago, and he jumped up and down like Tigger when he saw the bears. Another woman with older children in tow laughed at my son's antics. "I remember that age. Now mine care most about the vending machines."
A good reminder. So soak it all in, friends, because it's going by so quickly already.
And remember to check in next week for the final segment of perfectly imperfect parenting - weathering rough waters.
But you know, as much media as we all consume (and obviously, that goes way beyond the world of television - extending to music, phone apps, video games, and social media), how much does it help us understand our children's world? What do we actually learn about them from it?
The answer? Not really all that much. Because your child's world is not on the television, in social media, or in video games. If it is, time for a regroup and refocus, folks. Your children's world is first and foremost the life they lead at school, what they do with their friends, and any activities they do in addition to all that.
So how do you connect to that? Well, I'm no expert, but I did talk to some people who are, and here's the three actions you can take that they all highlighted as fundamental to understanding the world in which your child exists.
Talk to your child...then listen. No matter your work schedule, no matter your home situation, experts agree you should take time to talk to your child every day. For some kids, getting information on their day is an easy task - they're talkers, and all you have to do is pose a question and sit back and listen. For other kids, encouraging information out of them may take more time. But the more you ask, the more you'll learn, which will open doors to knowing what questions really loosen those tight-lipped kiddos.
"Communication with your children is key," says Evan Tims, a guidance counselor at Cross Timbers Elementary in Edmond. She emphasizes that we need to teach ourselves better communication, and how do we do that? Practice. And remember, communication is a two-way street; we have to listen as well.
Connect to the adults who know your child's world outside the home. As we discussed last week, parents who volunteer at their children's schools have a better idea of what their children's daily environment is like. And kids want you there, says Cordell Ehrich, principal of Edmond's Cimarron Middle School, adding, "Face time is important,"
But don't forget to think outside your child's school. Coaches, church leaders, and parents of your children's friends also see your child outside your own home, so taking time to open up a conversation with these particular people will help you not only understand your child's world better, but it will also give you a contact in case of any type of emergency or problem.
Spend time, time, and more time together. When I spoke to Michael Stranz, Edmond father of four grown children, he emphasized that he could never have spent enough time doing the day to day stuff with his kids. As a parent, I think it can sometimes be hard to remember how incredibly fast this is all going to go when you're in the thick of things. But from somebody who's oldest just started full-time school, I have begun to understand what Stranz means.
You only get one shot at this. As parents, we all have work obligations, and we definitely need to take some time out for ourselves. But remember, your child will grow so, so fast. People with grandkids tell me this over and over. And you have to enjoy every moment. I was reminded of this when I took my two-year-old to the zoo just two days ago, and he jumped up and down like Tigger when he saw the bears. Another woman with older children in tow laughed at my son's antics. "I remember that age. Now mine care most about the vending machines."
A good reminder. So soak it all in, friends, because it's going by so quickly already.
And remember to check in next week for the final segment of perfectly imperfect parenting - weathering rough waters.
Thursday, August 14, 2014
Pefectly imperfect - The power of presence
This week, I attended "Meet the Teacher Day" with my daughter and spent ten days filling out paperwork. Okay, okay. Not ten days. Ten minutes really, but a lifetime when one's two-year-old has decided to make the classroom his own. Thank god for the husband running interference. Otherwise, my first impression on teacher day might not have been so sunshiny.
In fact, I was so distracted by just, well, everything, that I forgot to do one very important thing.
Volunteer.
You see, I had learned something from the interviews I had conducted for my topic this month. During August, I've been driving this blog down the road of imperfect parenting (it's a road I know well, unfortunately). As we all know, we don't get road maps, self-help manuals, or instruction booklets for those kiddos of ours. Sometimes it's hard to know if we're doing everything...or anything...right.
But when I talked to some local experts, I was surprised that some simple steps (although not necessarily always convenient in our busy lifestyles) are critical, while other things (like, you know, actual things) are less important to our children. And being a presence in your child's school life was something that was emphasized over and over again.
"Parents who volunteer have a better feel what their child's environment is like," says Cordell Ehrich, the principal at Cimarron Middle School in Edmond. It's easy to get involved, he adds, simply by stopping by the school office or emailing a student's teacher. And he stressed the importance of doing this at all stages - elementary through high school.
And opportunities abound not only for the parents who can come in during the day, but for parents who can't. Again, it usually includes you reaching out to the school to see what might fit.
"Kids want you there," says Ehrich. "They may not act like it, but they do."
In fact, kids seeing a relationship built between their teachers and parents creates respect, says Guidance Counselor Evan Tims at Edmond's Cross Timbers Elementary. Also, a parent's presence at a school shows students how much their parents care about them and their education, she asserts.
And no matter what, whether you volunteer or not, the importance of communication with your child's school cannot be stressed enough. "Generally, teachers and counselors check email daily, if not more often," says Tims, "so do make an effort to communicate with them." This too can lead to a better understanding of your child's world.
Remember, these days will come and go more quickly than you think. When I asked Edmond resident Michael Stranz, father of four grown children, if he could think of any time he wished he had been more involved, he mentioned he could never be involved enough in the day-to-day stuff. "I think as parents (of young children), we walk that line of being too over-bearing, but as they grow into young adults and we look back and reflect, those are the times we miss the most."
Words from the wise to the wise.
Check in next week for more on how you can connect to your child's world!
In fact, I was so distracted by just, well, everything, that I forgot to do one very important thing.
Volunteer.
You see, I had learned something from the interviews I had conducted for my topic this month. During August, I've been driving this blog down the road of imperfect parenting (it's a road I know well, unfortunately). As we all know, we don't get road maps, self-help manuals, or instruction booklets for those kiddos of ours. Sometimes it's hard to know if we're doing everything...or anything...right.
But when I talked to some local experts, I was surprised that some simple steps (although not necessarily always convenient in our busy lifestyles) are critical, while other things (like, you know, actual things) are less important to our children. And being a presence in your child's school life was something that was emphasized over and over again.
"Parents who volunteer have a better feel what their child's environment is like," says Cordell Ehrich, the principal at Cimarron Middle School in Edmond. It's easy to get involved, he adds, simply by stopping by the school office or emailing a student's teacher. And he stressed the importance of doing this at all stages - elementary through high school.
And opportunities abound not only for the parents who can come in during the day, but for parents who can't. Again, it usually includes you reaching out to the school to see what might fit.
"Kids want you there," says Ehrich. "They may not act like it, but they do."
In fact, kids seeing a relationship built between their teachers and parents creates respect, says Guidance Counselor Evan Tims at Edmond's Cross Timbers Elementary. Also, a parent's presence at a school shows students how much their parents care about them and their education, she asserts.
And no matter what, whether you volunteer or not, the importance of communication with your child's school cannot be stressed enough. "Generally, teachers and counselors check email daily, if not more often," says Tims, "so do make an effort to communicate with them." This too can lead to a better understanding of your child's world.
Remember, these days will come and go more quickly than you think. When I asked Edmond resident Michael Stranz, father of four grown children, if he could think of any time he wished he had been more involved, he mentioned he could never be involved enough in the day-to-day stuff. "I think as parents (of young children), we walk that line of being too over-bearing, but as they grow into young adults and we look back and reflect, those are the times we miss the most."
Words from the wise to the wise.
Check in next week for more on how you can connect to your child's world!
Thursday, August 7, 2014
Perfectly imperfect - Being the best parent you can be
Once upon a time, I dreamed of being a perfect parent. I would rock my baby in a perfectly decorated nursery, and she would immediately drift off to sleep. I would beam as my child executed perfect manners, making him the teacher's pet. Finally, my child would run across the stage to grab his or her high school diploma, shouting "I got into Harvard! With a full ride scholarship!"
And then, cold hard reality hit me in the face.
Being a parent is one of the best jobs in the world. It's also one of the most challenging, unnoticed, and frustrating ones. For example, if you sit in a restaurant (movie theater, airplane, etc.) and your child behaves, no one notices. If your child has a nuclear meltdown, the raised eyebrows and frowns of strangers abound, and you are effectively relegated to "poor parenting" status. The problem is, your child might be both angelic and horrendous on different days (or even the same one).
They're kids.
So how do you know if you're doing a good job? How do you know if you're doing a poor job, or a fantastic one? Is there a parenting measuring stick? How do you succeed at parenting? How do you survive it?
Well, I'm the first to tell you I won't be earning any parenting gold stars in the near future. Sometimes I yell. Sometimes I feed ice cream for dinner. Sometimes I buy a toy just for the heck of it, and sometimes I really, really just want my kids to go to school and leave me alone. But on the same note, I love, love, LOVE my kids. I'd do anything for them. I know this, because every time I see a big dog, I jump in front of my kids (and not only am I scared of big dogs myself...I also kind of like my face). But how do I make sure I'm giving my children what they really need from me?
Well, in the interest of answering those questions, I've again leaned on some local experts, including a school principal, a guidance counselor, a family counselor, and a parent of four grown children. One thing they all emphasized is the importance of communication at any age, but they also had a great deal more to share. So here's the lineup for August...
August 14 - The power of presence. During my interviews, I found that a prevailing theme, in addition to communication, appeared to be simply being a presence in your child's life. The local experts share their thoughts on how to do just that.
August 21 - Connecting to your child's world. What does it really mean to be an involved parent? Is it all the chauffeuring? Leading the Girl Scout troupe? Attending every practice? I'll share some tips on how you can make sure you're connecting with what matters to your child.
August 28 - Weather rough waters. Finally, no one is perfect. Our children will have difficult moments. Some will have more challenges than others. How can you, as a concerned parent, work with your child and others to help overcome misbehavior? We'll tackle the question head on.
So stay tuned! It promises to be an interesting month. But at the end of it, I hope you know what it means to be a perfectly imperfect parent.
And then, cold hard reality hit me in the face.
Being a parent is one of the best jobs in the world. It's also one of the most challenging, unnoticed, and frustrating ones. For example, if you sit in a restaurant (movie theater, airplane, etc.) and your child behaves, no one notices. If your child has a nuclear meltdown, the raised eyebrows and frowns of strangers abound, and you are effectively relegated to "poor parenting" status. The problem is, your child might be both angelic and horrendous on different days (or even the same one).
They're kids.
So how do you know if you're doing a good job? How do you know if you're doing a poor job, or a fantastic one? Is there a parenting measuring stick? How do you succeed at parenting? How do you survive it?
Well, I'm the first to tell you I won't be earning any parenting gold stars in the near future. Sometimes I yell. Sometimes I feed ice cream for dinner. Sometimes I buy a toy just for the heck of it, and sometimes I really, really just want my kids to go to school and leave me alone. But on the same note, I love, love, LOVE my kids. I'd do anything for them. I know this, because every time I see a big dog, I jump in front of my kids (and not only am I scared of big dogs myself...I also kind of like my face). But how do I make sure I'm giving my children what they really need from me?
Well, in the interest of answering those questions, I've again leaned on some local experts, including a school principal, a guidance counselor, a family counselor, and a parent of four grown children. One thing they all emphasized is the importance of communication at any age, but they also had a great deal more to share. So here's the lineup for August...
August 14 - The power of presence. During my interviews, I found that a prevailing theme, in addition to communication, appeared to be simply being a presence in your child's life. The local experts share their thoughts on how to do just that.
August 21 - Connecting to your child's world. What does it really mean to be an involved parent? Is it all the chauffeuring? Leading the Girl Scout troupe? Attending every practice? I'll share some tips on how you can make sure you're connecting with what matters to your child.
August 28 - Weather rough waters. Finally, no one is perfect. Our children will have difficult moments. Some will have more challenges than others. How can you, as a concerned parent, work with your child and others to help overcome misbehavior? We'll tackle the question head on.
So stay tuned! It promises to be an interesting month. But at the end of it, I hope you know what it means to be a perfectly imperfect parent.
Thursday, July 31, 2014
Kids & Technology...a lifestyle shift
For this last post on kids and technology, we're going to take a brief look at how the incredible strides forward over the past few years directly impact our children. Going beyond our children's overexposure on Facebook (yeah, I know you put their pictures up there, because I do it too), kids these days will not know a world without email, social networking, the World Wide Web, and all the new-fangled devices that give us nonstop access to all things cyberspace.
For parents, the technological shift can provide incredible opportunities but also present great challenges. You know how difficult it is to get up and get active when Facebook and Twitter keeps sucking you back into the chair. Is it really necessary to fly across the country to visit family when Skype puts them inside our home? Why read Little House on the Prairie when you can build your own world in Minecraft? How can you convince your child he or she needs friends when they have 624 of them on Facebook? Should we be scared of the changes technology will impose on the next generation, or embrace them?
Well, here's a few wise words and information from some local experts...
Physical activity...You've been there. I've been there. Our kids are most certainly there.
Who wants to go outside and run around a bit when there are so many cool apps to mess around with?
Well, as the U.S. fights a rising obesity problem, it's time to get intentional about getting our kids active. Limiting their time surfing online, watching television, and playing video games is a start, but now, with a lifestyle that breeds inactivity, parents must focus on physical activity for our kids, because it doesn't just happen.
One awesome possibility is your local YMCA. The new one at Mitch Park here in Edmond even uses technology to sweeten the deal. "We have a room set up like a studio space, all with video games that require a child (ages 8 - 13) to be active in order to play," says Kelly Crockett, Health and Wellness Director. She adds that the YMCA offers plenty of affordable physical activity programs for kids of all ages, as well as the opportunity for teenagers to work out with their parents.
Reading and learning...There are things that reading can do for which there is no electronic substitute. Developing critical thinking and empathy, as well as learning good grammar and writing skills, all come from reading books. Books open our eyes to cultures and situations beyond the realm of what Hollywood offers in movies and television, simply by giving the audience such a wide variety of topics and genres. Reading books is crucial.
Now, that isn't to say technology hasn't had an overall positive effect on learning. Not only have electronic books reinvigorated the struggling publishing market and given easy access to so many voices, but the internet allows our children to travel far and wide. And teachers are using technology to make the classroom interactive, engaging this new generation with what is familiar and fascinating to them. "I love seeing the way the light goes on for kids, their possibilities to learn, by utilizing technology in the classroom," says Cordell Ehrich, the principal at Cimarron Middle School here in Edmond. "We need to use these resources to continue to grow."
Social skills...When was the last time you sat down with a teen (or pre-teen) and he or she gave you his or her undivided attention without once glancing down to check a cell phone? Better yet, when was the last time you sat through a conversation without checking your text message, voice mail, Twitter or Facebook account, Pinterest updates, etc. etc.?
Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. And I'm guilty too.
Technology has a way of keeping us connected in ways never before possible, but it doesn't mean we can always substitute sitting behind a computer screen with getting out and experiencing friendship face to face. Our kids are no exception. But we can't cut it off completely. "I think there's a balance," says Guidance Counselor Evan Tims at Cross Timbers Elementary in Edmond. "I have seen some withdrawal, but we are in a different world. Instead of fighting with it, we need to partner with technology." She said technology is our children's world, and when it's used right, it's a good thing.
In summary, I guess I've learned several overriding truths from this blog series on kids and technology. Technology is here to stay. Social media isn't going anywhere either. If we don' learn to use it and implement it into our lives as parents, we will fall behind the times, and we risk losing a critical connection with our children. But (and this is a big one, folks), as children of a different generation, we owe it to our children to teach them the value of face-to-face interaction, reading books, making friendships outside the almighty Facebook, and learning how to compose a proper letter without smiley faces and techy shorthand. We need to teach them that any communication is a good thing, but a conversation in person is always better. We need to stress that being active and getting out--living life--is better than any imaginary life in cyberspace.
And how do we do that? By being an example ourselves.
I hope you've enjoyed this topic. Next month we talk about parental involvement, and how we can be a positive force in our children's lives!
For parents, the technological shift can provide incredible opportunities but also present great challenges. You know how difficult it is to get up and get active when Facebook and Twitter keeps sucking you back into the chair. Is it really necessary to fly across the country to visit family when Skype puts them inside our home? Why read Little House on the Prairie when you can build your own world in Minecraft? How can you convince your child he or she needs friends when they have 624 of them on Facebook? Should we be scared of the changes technology will impose on the next generation, or embrace them?
Well, here's a few wise words and information from some local experts...
Physical activity...You've been there. I've been there. Our kids are most certainly there.
Who wants to go outside and run around a bit when there are so many cool apps to mess around with?
Well, as the U.S. fights a rising obesity problem, it's time to get intentional about getting our kids active. Limiting their time surfing online, watching television, and playing video games is a start, but now, with a lifestyle that breeds inactivity, parents must focus on physical activity for our kids, because it doesn't just happen.
 |
| Mitch Park YMCA "Y-cade" game |
Reading and learning...There are things that reading can do for which there is no electronic substitute. Developing critical thinking and empathy, as well as learning good grammar and writing skills, all come from reading books. Books open our eyes to cultures and situations beyond the realm of what Hollywood offers in movies and television, simply by giving the audience such a wide variety of topics and genres. Reading books is crucial.
Now, that isn't to say technology hasn't had an overall positive effect on learning. Not only have electronic books reinvigorated the struggling publishing market and given easy access to so many voices, but the internet allows our children to travel far and wide. And teachers are using technology to make the classroom interactive, engaging this new generation with what is familiar and fascinating to them. "I love seeing the way the light goes on for kids, their possibilities to learn, by utilizing technology in the classroom," says Cordell Ehrich, the principal at Cimarron Middle School here in Edmond. "We need to use these resources to continue to grow."
Social skills...When was the last time you sat down with a teen (or pre-teen) and he or she gave you his or her undivided attention without once glancing down to check a cell phone? Better yet, when was the last time you sat through a conversation without checking your text message, voice mail, Twitter or Facebook account, Pinterest updates, etc. etc.?
Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. And I'm guilty too.
Technology has a way of keeping us connected in ways never before possible, but it doesn't mean we can always substitute sitting behind a computer screen with getting out and experiencing friendship face to face. Our kids are no exception. But we can't cut it off completely. "I think there's a balance," says Guidance Counselor Evan Tims at Cross Timbers Elementary in Edmond. "I have seen some withdrawal, but we are in a different world. Instead of fighting with it, we need to partner with technology." She said technology is our children's world, and when it's used right, it's a good thing.
In summary, I guess I've learned several overriding truths from this blog series on kids and technology. Technology is here to stay. Social media isn't going anywhere either. If we don' learn to use it and implement it into our lives as parents, we will fall behind the times, and we risk losing a critical connection with our children. But (and this is a big one, folks), as children of a different generation, we owe it to our children to teach them the value of face-to-face interaction, reading books, making friendships outside the almighty Facebook, and learning how to compose a proper letter without smiley faces and techy shorthand. We need to teach them that any communication is a good thing, but a conversation in person is always better. We need to stress that being active and getting out--living life--is better than any imaginary life in cyberspace.
And how do we do that? By being an example ourselves.
I hope you've enjoyed this topic. Next month we talk about parental involvement, and how we can be a positive force in our children's lives!
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