Let's make a tradition...Christmas Eve candlelight services

I will admit that my favorite time of year is Christmas, despite the overall craziness of the season. However, you may be surprised to discover that Christmas is not my most favorite day.

Actually, my favorite day is Christmas Eve.

Why, you ask? Well, I could say that the anticipation of Christmas morning invigorates me, or that I love mingling with last minute shoppers. I could say that it's easier to get my kids to listen to the true story of Christmas that day, or that I enjoy serving my family's traditional, relaxed Christmas Eve buffet. And all of that would be true...but it may not be the reason.

I believe the reason is that I look forward to - all year long - the candlelight service. To me, there is nothing like a church filled with only candlelight, a congregation lifting their voices acapella, to sing "Silent Night."

I LOVE it. It reminds me of why this really is the most beautiful season, and it helps me recall many, many memories of attending similar services with my family since I can remember. Nothing says Christmas to me quite like it.

It is a tradition for sure, one that I hope my children will someday value as much as I do.

So, in the interest of perhaps getting you to start your own candlelight tradition, here's a list of local services for 2014. If you're non-religious, it's still a great way to share the beauty and wonder of Christmas with others, to perhaps take time to breathe and recall why the holidays are special to you. And, if for some reason going to a service just isn't feasible, grab a lighter and a candle (surely, you have a candle - they're not that old-fashioned!) and do your own version (safely, of course).

And have a Merry Christmas, Happy Holiday, or however you call it that brings meaning to you!

(All times listed are for December 24 unless otherwise specified. Also, please check sites to confirm a service is candlelight.)

Acts 2 United Methodist Church - 3:30, 5, & 7 pm

Coffee Creek Baptist Church - 7 pm (December 23 only)

Crossings Community Church - 12, 3, 4:30, 5, 6, 7, & 11 pm (check site for auditorium location) (6, 7, & 8 pm, December 23)

Edmond's First Baptist Church  - 6 pm

First Presbyterian - 8 pm

First United Methodist - 4, 7, & 11 pm

Holy Trinity - 3 & 11 pm

Life Church (Edmond) - 2:30, 4, 5:30, & 7 pm (6 & 7:30, December 23)

Quail Springs Baptist Church - 3:30 & 5 pm

Quail Springs United Methodist Church - 6 & 11 pm

Santa Fe Presbyterian - 5 & 11 pm

St. John the Baptist Catholic Church - 4 pm

St. Monica Catholic Church - 4, 6, & 9 pm, and midnight

Please post more services in the comments section or send times and web addresses here.

Let's make a tradition - Christmas memories that stick like snowflakes

I have plenty of fond childhood memories of Christmas. Plen-ty.

In Los Angeles and later in Atlanta, my family of five (I was the middle child, so take that as you will) would pile in the minivan and carol out to some Christmas tree farm to pick a winner. It was usually an all-day event, with my mom feeling sorry for the scrawniest of trees and telling my dad we should pick it, and he and my older sister in turn telling her she was crazy - the trees don't actually care. Meanwhile, I'd be chasing my little brother and several of our Australian shepherds around, trying to keep the dogs from christening other unsuspecting people's trees.

Like I said - tradition.

Every Christmas Eve we'd attend a candlelight service, eat a Christmas Eve buffet with guests, and open our presents from my grandma and aunt in Pennsylvania. My mom ruined the Santa thing early, so then we'd go to bed, knowing my parents would frantically be wrapping presents for the next hour or two. (One year, they decided to wait until morning, leaving my mom to corral three eager children in their bedrooms while Dad frantically wrapped. I remember a lot of garbage bag gift wrap that year.)

Awkward family photo? Nah! The McAndrew family
was super cute in the early nineties!

Anyway, as a mom of little ones of my own, I want them to have fond memories of this season that they may continue for their children. Also as a mom, I get to pick my favorite traditions, which is ah-some! Here are a few we're going to discuss this month in the series - "Let's make a tradition."

Christmas Lights (December 11) - I will tell you this: the OKC metro has some dazzling light displays nearby, and if your kiddos get as wide-eyed as mine do with those colorful twinkling displays, then you might want to consider making Christmas lights a yearly tradition.

Candlelight Services (December 18) - One of the beautiful things about the season is having the opportunity - churchgoer or not - to attend a service where you light candles and sing Christmas carols. If you're not religious, it's a time to focus on the peace and beauty of the season, and if you are a person of faith, it is a time to remember what it's all about.

Christmas Vacation (December 25) - No! I don't mean the silly movie with the squirrel in the Christmas tree. I'm talking about the week following Christmas, when we're all on sugar overload and worrying about New Year's resolutions and credit card bills. Let's talk about some ways we can keep that Christmas spirit going into the new year, by making some post-Christmas family traditions that put the "memory" in "memorable."

So stay tuned! We have a fun, dazzling month ahead, and it's always good, when you're getting stressed, to repeat this: "Christmas only comes once a year."

So this is Christmas - Cue the family time (and hugging, hair-pulling, teeth-gritting, etc. etc.)

I really like my family. I really like my husband's family. Look, I'm not trying to get brownie points right before Christmas (although I'm cool with that). I just really want my family to know I like them before I launch into what I'm about to say.

Family time is awesome. Family time is also a time where you wonder if God created family  as a way to answer your prayers for patience. I mean, when you spend time with the same people, year after year, sometimes they get a little too honest, a little too nosy, a little too opinionated...you get the picture. For me, although I'm a fun-loving, outgoing, confident mama of two little ones, when I get back in my family structure, I somehow sink back into my middle-child syndrome. And my very cool brother and sister can still stoke my temper in a matter of seconds. Seconds, people. It's just too easy.

But for the most part, I don't have anyone I wouldn't want to see during the holidays. No "Cousin Eddie" in my family (you know, the RV nutcase on the classic Christmas  Vacation). However, I know that spending time with certain family--and friends--can often be a challenge, and so I took the opportunity to chat with Jackie Shaw, a licensed therapist and Executive Director of Edmond Family Counseling. She emphasized the need for having realistic expectations when it comes to dealing with some family members. Here's just some of her rock-solid advice that will keep you from drowning your sorrows in the holiday nog... 

•Have a plan. You may have known a family member for some time and are aware of triggers--sensitive areas that are dangerous for you or others.  Be sure to have some “practiced responses” that are neutral, as well as a strategy for exiting the scene, if needed.  Remind yourself that this is for a limited time; knowing there is an end in sight is helpful.

•Put on some extra-thick skin. When a difficult family member lashes out at you, remember that it is not the you in the present he or she is talking about.  In fact, he or she may not be talking about you at all!  Taking comments personally makes you easy prey; if you can manage to not take the barrage personally, you rise above it and are immune.

•If you can't say something nice... Take time to stop and think before you speak. Is it possible to take a “time out” when you feel less than joyous?  Do consider the age, background, health, etc. of your guest or guests. Sometimes just being silent is the greatest gift, and it may save hurt, apologies, and regrets.

And finally, Shaw encourages you to think about why you feel the need to participate in certain family activities and to look at the reasons you may dread doing so. At the end of the day, we should be celebrating this beautiful season and appreciating family as we can. And then we have to let it go.

Because, even if you have a Grinch at your gathering, remember this:

“Every Who down in Who-ville, the tall and the small, was singing!  Without any presents at all!  He HADN’T  stopped Christmas from coming!  IT CAME!  Somehow or other, it came just the same!”  

When your home is alone...a few take aways from a classic Christmas movie...

In my last post, I discussed three of my most favorite classic (and funny) Christmas movies. To be honest (and most people think I'm crazy), my most favorite of them all is Home Alone. And you say, "Really?" And I say, "Yes." Nothing gets me more revved up about Christmas than watching Kevin set the traps for the burglars to the dramatic "Carol of the Bells."

I know. Its weird. Whatever.

But something about that movie has stuck with me through the years, and I'm not just talking about the crook "Marv" with a giant tarantula on his face. The thing is, when you travel during the holidays, you've got to make sure your house isn't a sitting duck.

So I had the opportunity to chat with Lewis Long, Vice President of Marketing Communications for ADT. Here's just some of the rock solid advice he gave for those who will be away from home on or around the holidays...


Top tips for keeping your home safe year-around, and especially during the holidays:

• Lock your doors even when you are gone for a brief amount of time. A large percentage of burglaries happen during the day, so homeowners should secure doors and windows every time they leave their home. 
• Be proactive about keeping your home safe by checking smoke alarms and carbon monoxide detectors every month. A quick test of life-safety devices can keep families safe from potential danger. 
• Keep hedges and bushes around your home trimmed, so burglars don’t have places to hide.
• Sign up with 24/7 active monitoring from a security provider to ensure you and your home are safe at all times – whether you're asleep or away from home. In the event of an emergency situation, such as a break-in or fire, your system will immediately notify your security provider and within seconds, the appropriate emergency services will be contacted and dispatched to your home.

 

And a few holiday-specific items:

• Position all holiday trees away from furnaces and doorways so they do not present a hazard in the home.
• Never leave lit candles unattended and consider flameless candles as an alternative.
• Remember that dry holiday trees can become a fire hazard when decorated with holiday lights.  Water your tree daily to keep it properly hydrated and safe.
• Inspect tree lights for damage before hanging them. Also, avoid leaving your tree lights on when the home is vacant, as they could become a fire hazard when overheated.
  
  And finally...

• Be careful about what you post on social media if you are travelling for the holidays.  Burglars can use posts on Twitter or Facebook to determine when you’ll be away.  

Well then! All I have to do is find my pointy Christmas ornaments to put underneath the window. Just kidding. I'll be home for Christmas.

 

This Christmas - Three favorite films with hidden messages

Yes, I'll admit it. I have a problem.
 
I am a Christmas movie-aholic.
 
Give me a little Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer or Frosty the Snowman, and you'll find me teary before you finish singing "So he waved goodbye, saying don't you cry, I'll be back again someday." Classic.
 
But I've got some new favorite Christmas fare, now that I'm a grownup and have learned that the holiday season should be dealt with a degree of humor, if you're going to deal with it at all. So thanks to the talents of Chevy Chase, Macaulay Culkin, and Peter Billingsley (better known as "Ralphie"), I follow up a round of Frosty with cheerful thoughts of 250 strands of lights.
 
If you don't know what the heck I'm talking about, then you need to get your TV watching on this Christmas. Because these three classic holiday movies not only will have you giggling to the tune of "Jingle Bells," but will also bring up some holiday matters of importance.
 
Home Alone - and the cold hard facts about home security. When the mice are away, the cats will play. Or something like that. Anyway, watch the first few minutes of this movie, and even the humor won't shake away those creepy vibes from the soon-to-be villains. The takeaway lesson from this gem is this: when you're leaving your home during the holidays, get serious about security (unless you really have enough toy cars, pointy ornaments, and a tarantula to effectively defend your home, like Kevin does).
 
And be smart! Lewis Long, Vice President of Marking Communications at ADT, says this: "Be careful about what you post on social media if you are travelling for the holidays.  Burglars can use posts on Twitter or Facebook to determine when you’ll be away."
 
A Christmas Story - and the hunt for the perfect toy. My husband had to coerce me into watching this movie all the way through, and even though I threated one episode of Downtown Abbey in return, I had to admit this movie has plenty to like. Also, it reminded me that finding the perfect toy for any kid is not only a challenge, but a task that might take a little outside-the-box thinking.
 
Kids change so fast. I mean, hey, they're kids. But according to Becky Scharf, Director of Stepping Stone Mother's Day Out and Edmond mom of four young children, you can succeed with a little effort. "When selecting a toy for a friend or family member, I try to pick something that is not going to add too much clutter or noise to their house! I also like to pick toys that they won't quickly outgrow and that can be used in different ways or foster imagination and grow with the child."
 
National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation - and finally, what to do with the family member from well, you know... You can't pick your family. You get what you get. But that doesn't always mean you like them all that much. (BTW, I love all of mine...wink, wink.) However, the holidays are the time of year when we are often thrown together with the good, the bad, and sometimes the ugly. Maybe you don't have a cousin "Eddie"; then again, you just might. 
 
What to do with an especially difficult person, who may be staying with you for a few hours or even days? Jackie Shaw, a licensed therapist and Executive Director of Edmond Family Counseling, suggests the following: "Make sure you have realistic expectations and a support system for yourself, both inside and outside of YOU!  When the difficult relative lashes out at you, remember that it is not the you in the present he/she is talking to or about. If you can manage to not take the barrage personally, you rise above it and are immune."

 

Words that have me singing a little more fa-la-la-la-la for sure.

And check out next week's blog for more on holiday security:)