Training your kids to “feed the pig”: Teaching money saving skills from day one

Money. It may not be able to buy happiness, but it sure does make your world go ‘round. And it seems, more often than not, that no matter how much of it you bring home, there’s never quite enough.

That’s supposed to be one of the beauties of being a child. It’s a time when bills and other financial responsibilities are a distant thought, if even a thought at all. However, the truth is a little less idealistic, because let’s face it, kids become aware of money and what it can do at a very early age.

The other day, my preschooler saw someone on TV step out onto a balcony. “We need to buy one of those for our house,” she told me. And I realized, like so many parents, that I have a long, hard job ahead of teaching my kids to save and manage money. How to begin?

Well, I started by asking an expert in the money saving business. And I found the perfect financial-education whiz in Jill Castilla, Executive Vice President and Chief Credit Officer of Citizens Bank of Edmond. Here are some tips she gave me that can give any parent a head start on teaching their kids about money, spending, and saving for what they really want.

Money talks. No, I don’t mean you tell your kids to start bribing restaurant hostesses, etc. What I mean is that you need to have some talks about money. Castilla suggests you discuss your own spending habits with your children and explain why you did or didn’t purchase something. If your children are older, educate them about credit cards and how mistakes can have a long-term negative effect. Show them what credit reports look like and what they mean (these days, a credit score can impact everything from getting a job to even purchasing a cell phone). Use whatever personal experiences you can to bring the message home.

Discuss your own spending habits with your children and explain why you did or didn’t purchase something.

Sweeten the pot for your own children by matching the money they put into their savings account.

Open a bank account early (and maybe play a little 401(k) with them). Castilla encourages parents to open bank accounts for their children as soon as possible. That way, when kids receive birthday or other special occasion money, parents can discuss the benefits of putting the money in an account and saving for something bigger versus blowing the money on a toy that a child may not really want (an impulse buy—who does that?). Castilla sweetens the pot for her own children by matching the money they put into their savings account, a strategy that will have kids thinking about investments long before they land that first job!

Lead by example. And last but not least, Castilla emphasized the importance of teaching by example. Whether you’ve always practiced good money management or you need to turn over that proverbial new leaf, it’s never too late to watch your spending and start saving. Thinking through big purchases, resisting the urge to always buy on credit, and setting financial goals is as important for you as it is for your child, and you will establish a pattern of smart-money behavior that your children can model for years to come.

Setting financial goals is as important for you as it is for your child.

For more money education resources, check out the Parent Money Manual from the American Bankers Association or Feed the Pig.

Putting America to work? How 'bout them kids?

I remember my first job. Knowing that I'm female, you may be able to guess what it was. Ding, ding, ding! That' right. Babysitting. And I hated it. I was proficient enough to get called back frequently, but I often found reasons not to go, having decided that whatever I was saving for could not be worth several hours of toddler snot and baby poo.

Man, how my life has changed. :)

But anyway, my point is that kids are going to start thinking about ways to make money early on, especially when they see their friends with cool gadgets and whatnot. Next week, my blog post will cover how you can help your kids learn to save and manage money, but this week, I'm going to feature a few ways those youngsters can get more moola beyond the "Happy Birthday Princess" checks from grandma.

First off--the law. Quit your snoring and sit up. Here's what the federal government and the State of Oklahoma allow:

The Fair Labor Standards Act (FLSA) sets 14 as the minimum age for most non-agricultural work. However, at any age, youth may deliver newspapers; perform in radio, television, movie, or theatrical productions; work in businesses owned by their parents (except in mining, manufacturing or hazardous jobs); and perform babysitting or perform minor chores around a private home. Also, at any age, youth may be employed as homeworkers to gather evergreens and make evergreen wreaths.

Okay, so my little guys are probably not going to be making evergreen wreaths anytime soon (is that for real?), and I haven't had any television agents come calling (and Miley Cyrus really isn't making the case for my kids to have a future in entertainment), so let's talk about some of the top jobs your kids can do BEFORE they reach the magical age of fourteen.

Babysitting and mother's helper. This is probably going to be your child's--especially a girl's (sorry, it is what it is; at the present time, girls still do more babysitting)--best opportunity to make decent money per hour. However, a few things to mention. First of all, he/she needs to set a rate to avoid being taken advantage of by stingy parents (by the way, it is downright despicable to underpay your babysitter, so don't do it!). Also, check into baby certification courses. Oklahoma does not have a minimum age for babysitting, but you know your child and what he/she can handle. If your child is watching your younger kids or someone else's kids, and they are under fourteen, make sure someone close by is available to help them and that they are aware of what to do in an emergency. And starting out as a mother's helper is a great way to get experience for babysitting. (See more babysitting info on an earlier blog post.)

Landscaping etc. Weeding is an excellent source of income for any youngster (and bonus points for getting a hyperactive kid to spend that energy on something useful!). Raking leaves and other groundskeeping activities are good jobs as well. As for anything involving machinery, do your research as to what is legal and go with a "better safe than sorry" approach. I do not want to see a nine-year-old with a chain saw in my neighbor's yard. Just sayin.'

Cleaning. I'm not talking about your twelve-year-old going to people's homes alone and doing a floor-to-ceiling housekeeping. But if an elderly person or overwhelmed mom (or you!) needs a little extra help with household chores, this is an opportunity for your child to not only make money, but to take care of a home--something both girls and boys need to know before heading off into the world.

Neighborhood watch. Hah! You frowned when you read that, didn't you? I don't mean the real neighborhood watch. Instead, I'm referring to opportunities to help neighbors who are out of town feed the cats, clean the litterbox, tame the plants, collect mail, etc. And this is a great way to build strong relationships between your neighbors and kids.

Finally, what this all comes down to is making a parental decision about your children's level of responsibility and maturity. If they will be performing a job outside your home for a neighbor, let them practice it at home. Keep tabs on payment and job satisfaction (both for your kid and the employer), and not only will your child build up that bank account, but they will learn skills early on that will help them be the kind of people (and workers!) you want them to be.

Let's do homework! Teachers' wise words on getting the job done...

I don't know much about inspiring my kids to do homework (I mean, is anyone ever inspired to do homework?). However, I do know my parents' "take no prisoners" approach caused me to be meticulous about completing assignments, something I carried with me into my college years. An approach that worked well for me--that continues to work well with me--is delayed gratification. Once I get the hard stuff out of the way (studying, cleaning house, paying bills, etc.), then I can play. Simple, yes. But it doesn't work for everyone.

So, in order to seek out methods for helping today's kiddos, who carry technology around like a vital organ, I talked to a group of friends who-are-teachers to get their suggestions on how to motivate children to take homework seriously, as well as learn habits that will last a lifetime (or at least through college graduation). I found myself impressed, amused, and yes, even surprised at what they suggested.

Don't make it a fight. Kids buck orders. Really, I think most of us do, independent creatures that we are. Give your kid a choice: do your homework now, or give up something fun later (outside playtime, television, games, or an activity). If they choose to play outside first, say, "Okay," but give them a limited amount of time with the caveat, "If you did this now, you wouldn't have to worry about it the rest of the night."

Setting aside the time. Kids often have short attention spans. One teacher friend suggested setting a timer for homework in fifteen- or twenty-minute intervals and giving a certain amount of free time (or a "break") in between. She also suggests a rewards-based system, including sticker charts for younger children and changing the Wi-Fi password and giving it to older children when they complete their work.

Different strokes for different folks. And continuing on the rewards track...as adults, we're motivated by a paycheck and free time, am I right? Well, kids of all ages are also motivated by material rewards ("the paycheck"), as well as free time and autonomy. Find out what makes your child tick (TV time, computer time, privileges, special prizes, etc.) and then use it as a reward when they accomplish what needs to be done. Sometimes, this means balancing passions with challenges. For example, one of my teacher friends, Katie Scott, explains her motivation techniques for her elementary school class and her own children:

"Motivation is more about creating motivation within the child...what are they driven by? I try to motivate my own kids and students by finding their passions. I look at their learning styles--how do they learn? If reading is the most difficult, but they love together time, read with your child, take turns on each page. If writing is difficult, create some fun with a squishy toy to help keep their hands relaxed."

This is where your parenting skills and knowledge of your kid come in handy. And sometimes, like most things, the process may take some trial and error. 

And if all else fails...

Early bird gets the worm. If your kiddo didn't complete his or her work the night before, drag them out of bed early to finish. 'Nuff said there. I'm certain this would have worked for me as a kid too. I mean, who likes to get up early? The only con is that you have to get up early too...

And at the end of the day, tell your children why homework is important. Maybe they can't see the value in American History or Algebra II, but remind them what they can expect by working hard in school. And, if you must, pull out the M&Ms. :)

Discipline innovation - a mom's suggestion for addressing common misbehaviors

This week, I just have to share something...

Not long ago, I had been trying to come up with ways to deal with behavior problems. Currently, we're experiencing the "terrible threes" (which, if you didn't know, can be much more painful than the "terrible twos"), and I'd like to use something a little different from the threat of corporal punishment or timeout.

In fact, I wanted to get away from threats in general.

I hate the fact that my three-year-old has learned the value of threats--from me. After hearing me say things like, "If you don't put your shoes on in two minutes, we are not going to the park to be chased by the ducks," and "If you don't pick up Mr. Potato head and all his various limbs and sensory organs, you are going to have to go sit in your pink chair," my daughter got the hang of a good threat. (By the way, a comfortable time out chair is not effective--just so you know.)

In fact, just the other day my daughter warned, "If you don't get me some crackers, I am not going to talk to you." Okay, so maybe my first response was "Oh I'd like to see that happen," and maybe her wording needs some work, but I can definitely hear myself in that little voice.

The thing is, I don't sit in the anti-spanking camp, but I do find the irony in hitting a child to discipline him or her for lashing out. But the value of timeouts has started to fade, especially when my daughter chose timeout over helping me pick up the other day (who wouldn't want to sit in a big pink chair instead of cleaning?). What to do?

Well, two different moms suggested something with which we've experienced great success, at least over the past few months. The idea falls in line with a sticker chart for performing chores or using the potty, but it comes with a built-in consequence. Let me explain:

Step one - Find a jar or large glass (maybe something plastic if you have a monkey-climber, mischievous one-year-old like I do). Choose something transparent but fun.

Step two - Get something to fill it with. Suggestions range from marbles (also a problem with the one-year-old, who eats everything, and I mean everything, including still-alive, squirming, larger-than-life beetles) to colored pom poms (look in the craft section of the store) to cotton balls (easy and costs a dollar-ish).

Step three - Buy a swoon-worthy prize, nothing too expensive or fancy, but that gets those little eyes to light up like Christmas.

Step four - Reward good behaviors (talking/playing nice with siblings, helping Mom pick up, doing chores without being asked, finishing veggies, etc.) with a cotton ball.

Step five - And here it is! Take away a cotton ball (or whatever) when your child misbehaves. Yes, this may mean you threaten him or her once. But don't do it over and over--just take the cotton ball out. I have found that when I tell my child I am unhappy with her behavior, she automatically knows this means she will lose a cotton ball, and her behavior overall has improved. Becky Scharf, mother of four and administrator for Stepping Stones Mothers Day Out, takes it a step further: "I have them put the marbles in and take them out themselves so it is more concrete for them to see their reward or consequence," she explains. Can you say "effective"?

I mean, it's not magic. I haven't found the Holy Grail of discipline or anything, but it has made a difference, and with kids at any age, that's all you can ask. 

For more ideas about how to discipline without losing your cool, check out these ideas.