My Happy New Year wishlist

This new year, 2014, marks my third year as an Edmond mom. And while I can't boast any Parent of the Year awards or children who read in Spanish by age three, I do know a little something about keeping my head above water as a mama of two munchkins who are quickly learning how to make me march to their cute little off-key tunes.

So, in thinking about New Year's resolutions and becoming an improved version of myself, I realized that I will always do my best at parenting, but that I can always do better. Okay, so maybe you have a  house any germaphobe would be proud of, or your kids always say "please" and "thank you" with the most gracious of smiles. Or maybe Martha Stewart calls you for cooking, decorating, and craft advice. I'm sending a round of applause your way. Really. But what about the rest of us? What small changes can we make to be even better examples to our kids and teach them the things that school can't?

Here's a few, unscientific ideas...

Learn more. Recently, I had the opportunity to visit the Georgia Aquarium with my three-year-old. The result? We now have discussions about whale sharks, nocturnal animals, aquatic feeding habits, octopus ink, and why we would never want to touch jellyfish (even though they're very pretty).

Lesson here? I'm not my daughter's classroom teacher, but as a parent, I get the very cool job of taking her places that will make learning not only fun, but so experiential that she's likely to remember that Beluga whales swim in very cold water and alligators are sometimes albino. Cool.
 
Read more. Everyone rolls their eyes at me on this one. Whatever. There's plenty of research that points to the overwhelmingly positive link between reading and success in school, college, and life. And if you look at some of the most successful Americans, they've been inspired to greatness by what they've read. So there (insert sticking out of tongue).

And really, I'm not just saying this because I'm a writer, but you should read with your kids. And your kids should spend time reading. And you should spend time reading, because children model the behaviors of their parents (just ask my daughter, who now has road rage at age three because of my stellar example). Point made.

Give more. Generosity is a hallmark of the American spirit, didn't you know? I realize we complain about foreign aid and other countries hating us anyway and blah, blah, blah. But if you believe in karma or blessings or in being a better person, remember that no one was ever criticized for giving too much. And Edmond abounds with charities, where not only money, but food items, clothing, and time are in short supply. And how much will your own heart be touched when you see your child respond to others with a spirit of generosity and kindness?

Play more. We have parks in Edmond. An ice rink. Bowling alleys. Water parks. If it's snowing outside, build a blanket fort or have a snowball fight.  Do not just sit on the sofa and watch Honey Boo Boo. You are throwing your life down the garbage disposal. Get out with your kids and live it up!

Share more. And finally, go beyond giving to the stranger. Now's the time, more than ever, to patch things up with family, reconnect with a friend, or spend some time with someone who may not have much time left. Work will always be there. Candy Crush and your IPad aren't going anywhere either.

I've lost several dear people this year, and in this new year, I know one thing for certain: Life is too short not to be a people person. Make playdates and social gatherings a priority. Believe me, those kids won't suffer for it. If anything, you might actually have that shot at Parent of the Year.

Happy New Year!

So this is Christmas - Cue the family time (and hugging, hair-pulling, teeth-gritting, etc. etc.)

I really like my family. I really like my husband's family. Look, I'm not trying to get brownie points right before Christmas (although I'm cool with that). I just really want my family to know I like them before I launch into what I'm about to say.

Family time is awesome. Family time is also a time where you wonder if God created family  as a way to answer your prayers for patience. I mean, when you spend time with the same people, year after year, sometimes they get a little too honest, a little too nosy, a little too opinionated...you get the picture. For me, although I'm a fun-loving, outgoing, confident mama of two little ones, when I get back in my family structure, I somehow sink back into my middle-child syndrome. And my very cool brother and sister can still stoke my temper in a matter of seconds. Seconds, people. It's just too easy.

But for the most part, I don't have anyone I wouldn't want to see during the holidays. No "Cousin Eddie" in my family (you know, the RV nutcase on the classic Christmas  Vacation). However, I know that spending time with certain family--and friends--can often be a challenge, and so I took the opportunity to chat with Jackie Shaw, a licensed therapist and Executive Director of Edmond Family Counseling. She emphasized the need for having realistic expectations when it comes to dealing with some family members. Here's just some of her rock-solid advice that will keep you from drowning your sorrows in the holiday nog... 

•Have a plan. You may have known a family member for some time and are aware of triggers--sensitive areas that are dangerous for you or others.  Be sure to have some “practiced responses” that are neutral, as well as a strategy for exiting the scene, if needed.  Remind yourself that this is for a limited time; knowing there is an end in sight is helpful.

•Put on some extra-thick skin. When a difficult family member lashes out at you, remember that it is not the you in the present he or she is talking about.  In fact, he or she may not be talking about you at all!  Taking comments personally makes you easy prey; if you can manage to not take the barrage personally, you rise above it and are immune.

•If you can't say something nice... Take time to stop and think before you speak. Is it possible to take a “time out” when you feel less than joyous?  Do consider the age, background, health, etc. of your guest or guests. Sometimes just being silent is the greatest gift, and it may save hurt, apologies, and regrets.

And finally, Shaw encourages you to think about why you feel the need to participate in certain family activities and to look at the reasons you may dread doing so. At the end of the day, we should be celebrating this beautiful season and appreciating family as we can. And then we have to let it go.

Because, even if you have a Grinch at your gathering, remember this:

“Every Who down in Who-ville, the tall and the small, was singing!  Without any presents at all!  He HADN’T  stopped Christmas from coming!  IT CAME!  Somehow or other, it came just the same!”  

When your home is alone...a few take aways from a classic Christmas movie...

In my last post, I discussed three of my most favorite classic (and funny) Christmas movies. To be honest (and most people think I'm crazy), my most favorite of them all is Home Alone. And you say, "Really?" And I say, "Yes." Nothing gets me more revved up about Christmas than watching Kevin set the traps for the burglars to the dramatic "Carol of the Bells."

I know. Its weird. Whatever.

But something about that movie has stuck with me through the years, and I'm not just talking about the crook "Marv" with a giant tarantula on his face. The thing is, when you travel during the holidays, you've got to make sure your house isn't a sitting duck.

So I had the opportunity to chat with Lewis Long, Vice President of Marketing Communications for ADT. Here's just some of the rock solid advice he gave for those who will be away from home on or around the holidays...


Top tips for keeping your home safe year-around, and especially during the holidays:

• Lock your doors even when you are gone for a brief amount of time. A large percentage of burglaries happen during the day, so homeowners should secure doors and windows every time they leave their home. 
• Be proactive about keeping your home safe by checking smoke alarms and carbon monoxide detectors every month. A quick test of life-safety devices can keep families safe from potential danger. 
• Keep hedges and bushes around your home trimmed, so burglars don’t have places to hide.
• Sign up with 24/7 active monitoring from a security provider to ensure you and your home are safe at all times – whether you're asleep or away from home. In the event of an emergency situation, such as a break-in or fire, your system will immediately notify your security provider and within seconds, the appropriate emergency services will be contacted and dispatched to your home.

 

And a few holiday-specific items:

• Position all holiday trees away from furnaces and doorways so they do not present a hazard in the home.
• Never leave lit candles unattended and consider flameless candles as an alternative.
• Remember that dry holiday trees can become a fire hazard when decorated with holiday lights.  Water your tree daily to keep it properly hydrated and safe.
• Inspect tree lights for damage before hanging them. Also, avoid leaving your tree lights on when the home is vacant, as they could become a fire hazard when overheated.
  
  And finally...

• Be careful about what you post on social media if you are travelling for the holidays.  Burglars can use posts on Twitter or Facebook to determine when you’ll be away.  

Well then! All I have to do is find my pointy Christmas ornaments to put underneath the window. Just kidding. I'll be home for Christmas.

 

This Christmas - Three favorite films with hidden messages

Yes, I'll admit it. I have a problem.
 
I am a Christmas movie-aholic.
 
Give me a little Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer or Frosty the Snowman, and you'll find me teary before you finish singing "So he waved goodbye, saying don't you cry, I'll be back again someday." Classic.
 
But I've got some new favorite Christmas fare, now that I'm a grownup and have learned that the holiday season should be dealt with a degree of humor, if you're going to deal with it at all. So thanks to the talents of Chevy Chase, Macaulay Culkin, and Peter Billingsley (better known as "Ralphie"), I follow up a round of Frosty with cheerful thoughts of 250 strands of lights.
 
If you don't know what the heck I'm talking about, then you need to get your TV watching on this Christmas. Because these three classic holiday movies not only will have you giggling to the tune of "Jingle Bells," but will also bring up some holiday matters of importance.
 
Home Alone - and the cold hard facts about home security. When the mice are away, the cats will play. Or something like that. Anyway, watch the first few minutes of this movie, and even the humor won't shake away those creepy vibes from the soon-to-be villains. The takeaway lesson from this gem is this: when you're leaving your home during the holidays, get serious about security (unless you really have enough toy cars, pointy ornaments, and a tarantula to effectively defend your home, like Kevin does).
 
And be smart! Lewis Long, Vice President of Marking Communications at ADT, says this: "Be careful about what you post on social media if you are travelling for the holidays.  Burglars can use posts on Twitter or Facebook to determine when you’ll be away."
 
A Christmas Story - and the hunt for the perfect toy. My husband had to coerce me into watching this movie all the way through, and even though I threated one episode of Downtown Abbey in return, I had to admit this movie has plenty to like. Also, it reminded me that finding the perfect toy for any kid is not only a challenge, but a task that might take a little outside-the-box thinking.
 
Kids change so fast. I mean, hey, they're kids. But according to Becky Scharf, Director of Stepping Stone Mother's Day Out and Edmond mom of four young children, you can succeed with a little effort. "When selecting a toy for a friend or family member, I try to pick something that is not going to add too much clutter or noise to their house! I also like to pick toys that they won't quickly outgrow and that can be used in different ways or foster imagination and grow with the child."
 
National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation - and finally, what to do with the family member from well, you know... You can't pick your family. You get what you get. But that doesn't always mean you like them all that much. (BTW, I love all of mine...wink, wink.) However, the holidays are the time of year when we are often thrown together with the good, the bad, and sometimes the ugly. Maybe you don't have a cousin "Eddie"; then again, you just might. 
 
What to do with an especially difficult person, who may be staying with you for a few hours or even days? Jackie Shaw, a licensed therapist and Executive Director of Edmond Family Counseling, suggests the following: "Make sure you have realistic expectations and a support system for yourself, both inside and outside of YOU!  When the difficult relative lashes out at you, remember that it is not the you in the present he/she is talking to or about. If you can manage to not take the barrage personally, you rise above it and are immune."

 

Words that have me singing a little more fa-la-la-la-la for sure.

And check out next week's blog for more on holiday security:)

Giving Thanks Part IV: Practically free, priceless ways to tell family you love them

It's Turkey day. Yes, today I will stuff myself silly, because 1) I don't get turkey dinners cooked by my talented mother-in-law (insert brownie points here) everyday, and 2) calories don't count on Thanksgiving. Didn't you know?

And I really enjoy my family. I really, really do. Both my husband's side and mine have endeared themselves over the past several years by loving on my sweet kiddos and helping out when they can, and that just makes me all fuzzy wuzzy inside and on the prowl for the perfect way to thank them for all the loving attention. I mean, jeez, my kids are pretty darn cute, but I've seen how they act with a little refined sugar. That's means I'm very grateful for everyone's help.

So how do I communicate that? Well, with an advanced degree in communication, you'd think I'd just know how to express my thanks perfectly, right? No, I'm much better with delivering helpful information and sometimes even sarcastic humor. But gratitude? There's got a be a perfect way to let someone know it.

So, here are my four, un-scientific methods for telling someone in your family, "Thanks," with no purchase necessary.

Say it. In the next few days, I'll have the opportunity to see a number of my family members. And maybe I'm a better writer than a speaker, but there's nothing wrong with the personal touch of going straight up to a person and telling him or her exactly why you appreciate them. Sometimes, I think it's easy to get caught up on the ways we don't think family members are perfect. And just remembering why you value them, even one single detail, might help you remember that we all have "hard to love" moments.

Write it. Oh yes. All that handwriting practice in grade school can finally come in handy when it comes to delivering a note. Sure, you can send a thank you by email, on Facebook, or even one of those nifty little e-cards. But there is something about getting an envelope with your name on it, either through the mail or at the dinner table, with a note that someone took the time to scribble just for you. And as a bonus, unlike spoken words, written words can be read over and over, remembered time and again.

Show it. As a writer, I'm not so fond of the saying, "A picture's worth a thousand words." I don't actually believe that's true all the time, although, visuals can affect people in deep, emotional ways. That being said, a more unique way to say thanks beyond the common note card would be to dig up a picture from a trip or get-together containing a happy memory of you and a family member. On the back of the picture, write a brief note (that's right, you're not getting out of the writing part!) and tell them why the memory is so special to you.

Do it. Okay, so I said this wouldn't cost anything. Actually, I said these were practically free ideas. So here's where the practically comes in. Time is one of the most valuable things in our society. With the internet, activities, family commitments, work, television, (deep breath), sporting events, Christmas shopping etc. etc., having time to spend one-on-one with a family member comes at a high price. But there is nothing, NOTHING, like giving your time to go do something with a family member--going out to eat, watching a movie, shopping, whatever. Because, at the end of the day, you might discover that the more you give, the more you receive.

And that, my friends, is the spirit of the season.

Giving Thanks Part III - A community that shares together, cares together

It may start to overwhelm you. This is the time of year that charities get super serious about requesting donations for hundreds of worthy causes. And one might think, "Gosh, I'd love to give back. But sheesh, with Christmas coming up...(fill in plausible excuse here)."

But with many of us taking the time to get together with family and friends to celebrate the holidays, our hearts do appear to grow warmer as the temperature grows colder. I mean, who wants to be a scrooge with the words, "God bless us, every one," ringing in our years and songs about the specialness of the season sounding from every radio?

Well, there's no time like the present to take a minute and count your blessings (hey, I mean, it is Thanksgiving next week). Then, with a genuine smile on your face, take a look at the following list--a list of organizations that help out right here in your own community.


For the little ones...Infant Crisis Services. Although located in Oklahoma City, this organization has dropoff points in Edmond. They certainly encourage and accept monetary donations, but if you are "de-babyfying" your house, they also have a wishlist of items you can donate.

For the animal lover...Edmond Animal Welfare. Maybe the thought of committing to a pet for life has you uneasy, or maybe you have room in your heart (and home) for more furry companions. Either way, Edmond Animal Welfare offers residents the chance to help out our furry friends by becoming a foster family or adopting a pet.

For the kiddos...Peppers Ranch. Whether you just want to donate funds to a worthy cause or take on the role of a foster parent, this Edmond organization is committed to helping abused and neglected children by "creating a network of caring foster parents and adult mentors on whom children can depend." Also in Edmond is the Boys Ranch Town, run by Oklahoma Baptist Homes for Children.

For education...your local college. Whether you are an alumni or not, giving back to a state university like UCO, OSU, and OU gives students with good grades and low funds the opportunity to continue their educations. And believe me, with the number of phone calls I get from my Alma maters, a school is not gonna turn anything down! (Really, you can find an opportunity to give to any college by typing in a college name and the word "give.")

For disaster relief...the American Red Cross. We just witnessed the amazing way in which our state pulls together following crises like the tornadoes that hit in Moore and across Oklahoma City this past spring. Giving money to the local Red Cross chapter helps you give back to an organization that does so much for the people facing the loss of their homes and businesses. Other organizations that assisted with disaster relief this past spring are listed here, and giving to them now helps them respond quickly and aggressively to future events.

So, what are you waiting for? What am I waiting for? And if you are short on money, opportunities abound to share your time at church, school, local nonprofits, etc., etc. So show your thanks, don't just say it. Actions speak louder than words.

Giving Thanks Part II - Giving to yourself (and your community) by patronizing local business

I don't know if you've driven down Broadway lately, but there's something about living in a town with such a vibrant array of small businesses. Not many cities have a bustling "old town" charm anymore, and Edmond, with all its growth and amenities, offers up the new while still giving residents a taste of the old.

But did you know that where you spend your money has a direct impact on this town? Most cities, like Edmond, depend on sales tax dollars to provide many, if not most, of their services, including public safety (police and fire), business development, and parks and city-wide events, as well as other critical services.

Toni Weinmeister, Associate Director of the Edmond Economic Development Authority, says that shopping in Edmond is a direct act of giving back to your community, because your dollars help fund the city. Frequenting local "mom and pop" stores, as well as franchises located within Edmond, helps not only with funding, but also benefits the local residents who own these businesses. And even shopping online at a business with an Edmond store will result in sales tax dollars going to the city (sorry folks, that does not include Amazon). Places like Target, Walmart, and many others all qualify.

And speaking of "mom and pop" stores, don't be afraid to go and check some of the smaller ones out. Edmond has a wide variety, and while small businesses sometimes have a reputation for having higher prices, that simply is not always the case. For instance, a new local business, Tenz, sells women's clothing and accessories for ten dollars.

Lisa Wheeler, owner of Tenz, says that opening a small, local business can be challenging, especially when competing with national chains, but she loves the sense of community in a town like Edmond. "One of our goals is giving back to the community by offering affordable clothing."

And she's just one of many store owners or managers who love serving the Edmond community. Ben Hoza, a manager at The Meat House, says, "We love the Edmond community and supporting the many events that make this area wonderful." The business, which offers a variety of fresh food options as well as catering, celebrates it second anniversary this month.

So, when you're getting ready to spend those dollars this holiday season, pause for a moment to consider where you want your dollars to go. Because by giving a local business your business, you might just be able to say "Thanks" in the best possible way.

Giving Thanks Part I - This Thanksgiving, give thanks for more than a meal

Every year at my house, we have a huge debate over the Thanksgiving meal. I swear the argument has brought my entire extended family to the brink of violence. The debate is epic.

It comes down to this...mash potatoes: chunky or creamy?

But tater-disagreement aside, contemplating an afternoon of feasting with either my family or my husband's brings a pleasant taste to my mouth, and my only anxiety is over the extra calories that will jumpstart the Christmas eating season.

However, over the past year, I've spoken with many families about their traditions, and I grew very aware that some people do much more than inhale a turkey dinner on this day of gratitude expression. In fact, I was awed by the ways people chose to give back to their families and communities, and I figured I'd better pass some of these ideas along.

Give thanks for your blessings by helping others...

On Thanksgiving day, many of us can't even begin to conquer all the items that will grace our table. However, overabundance isn't the norm for every Oklahoman. Places like The City Rescue Mission serve meals to the homeless. Stacy Valentine, who supervises community relations at The City Rescue Mission,  says that people can help by adopting a table (decorating a table, bringing a dessert, and eating lunch with the clients) or contributing to their food resource center.

Give thanks for your country by adopting a soldier...

Several organizations offer opportunities for us to send a real thank you to our service men and women. Both Adopt A US Soldier and Letters to Soldiers allow you to express gratitude through letters and/or care packages, and the support never goes unappreciated. Wendy Lynch, Chief Liaison Officer for Adopt A US Soldier sums it up perfectly: "We need to let them know that we support them, that they are cared for, and not forgotten. This is a small thing to do for these brave men and women who are making some of the greatest sacrifices in life."

Give thanks for your health by exercising with friends and family...

One of the simplest ways to say "thank you" to a healthy body is to use it. Edmond and Oklahoma City both offer a way to celebrate healthy living on Thanksgiving, not to mention getting a jumpstart on those pesky pumpkin-pie calories. The Edmond Turkey Trot will take place in downtown Edmond (and will benefit Turning Point Ministries), and the Oklahoma City Turkey Trot at Lake Hefner (benefiting Eagle Ridge Institute). If an early morning race is out of reach for you and family members, take time to for a walk or jog, or even a flag football game that says, "Hey, I'm grateful for what I've got."

Give thank for your family by telling them...

And if you find yourself up to your elbows cooking sweet potato casserole and pecan pie, even a simple pack of note cards, with a message quickly scrawled to each guest, will help you and your family members remember that life is a gift, every day is a blessing, and each moment should give us a reason to say, "Thanks."

Ten things to do with all that candy...

Have you seen the size of the  trick-or-treating buckets at Target this year? The thought of that much candy makes my head hurt (and I cringe at the thought of the next trip to the dentist).

But what to do? Closely packed neighborhoods, which practically have a "no tolerance" policy for anyone who would dare give fruit or pencils to candy-seeking kiddos, now throw a sugar extravaganza on this night, with parents frantically stashing away gigantic bags of sugary goodness to make sure they're not  the ones who find egg on their house.

My kids, of course, are already buzzed at just the thought of all that sugar. Yay for me. And yay for you too. And I'm thinking, as I prepare to ration Sweet-Tarts and survive numerous sugar highs and lows for the next few days...what should I do with the rest of it? You know, all the candy the kids don't like or that I just won't feed them?

Well, here's my list, in no particular order..

1. Eat it myself. While at first an enticing idea, the thought of facing the scale over the next two months, even without inhaling excess Halloween candy, seems like a quick ticket to buying new clothes--a size up. So maybe not...

2. Take it to work, or playgroup. Yes, this option seems much more acceptable. Let someone else invest in a new, larger wardrobe. But I will have to contend with all my friends'/colleagues' misery. Hmmm....

3. Give it to the church. Yes, yes! Anything wrapped I'm sure they'll accept. Won't they? Yep, this idea's a possible keeper...

4. Save it. But then find it six months later, break a tooth on something completely stale and not delicious, and throw it in the trash. Scratch that!

5. Find a way to make crafts with it. I can see all sorts of fun ideas from Pinterest sparking a craft inspiration. Of course, the candy is still there, in full sight of the children. But I like this idea as well.

6. Hide it in my parents' suitcase. "What? There was candy when you got home? Well, I bet it was the three-year-old. That crazy kid..."

7. Throw it away. Okay, it's not like this isn't the end result of several of the aforementioned ideas. And if someone says something about starving children, I will tell them that I am sorry, but a bag of Gobstoppers will not solve world hunger. And then, because of the guilt trip, I will go online an donate to someone who can solve it. Everybody wins.

8. Give it out at a race. I've had enough people holding out plates of gummy bears--not wrapped--at races to know giving candy to tired, sweaty runners is not exactly frowned upon. Then again, I've never taken candy from a stranger...

9. Candy bomb my neighbors. Two questions. 1) Is it illegal to put wrapped candy in a mail box? 2) Do candy wrappers show fingerprints?

10. Send it to my brother. Because he's serving his country in the desert. Ding, ding, ding! Yep, that's the winner. In the interest of getting a head start on the season of giving, I'll give my extra candy (and even some of the good stuff) to someone who not only deserves a little extra thought, but will also appreciate it. (And if you'd like to give to a soldier too, check out Adopt a US Soldier.)

There, problem solved.

Don't be Martha, just be awesome -Part IV: Costume MacGyver to the rescue

So, you have an hour until trick or treating time, and all of a sudden, your "too cool for school" kiddo decides he/she needs a costume. You're not the most craftsy mom, and needles generally end up in your finger or on the floor, not to be found until you're stalking around in bare feet some dark morning. What to do?

Enter Halloween costume MacGyver (you know, the show from the 80s/90s; ugh, I hate it when I date myself!).

Anyway, super mom that you are, you want your kiddo to leave the house in more than a sheet-turned-ghost, especially since the only one you're willing to cut up has pink daisies on it. Never fear, because other options do exist.

First step? Take a look around your own house. You have some boxes? Make a robot. Toilet paper? Put a mummy on tap. Have black pants and shirt? Tape some paper bones to them and you've got a skeleton. Scarf, striped shirt, and boots? Your a pirate, matey! Argh!

But there's more, my friends. Much, much more. Take a look below, and feast your eyes on some truly unique ten-minute concepts. (Insert evil laugh here...)

Bring Paul Bunyan back to life...
Check out the lumberjack idea from Etsy.com, which is easy and cool enough for even your most peer-pressured kiddo. All you need is a beanie, flannel shirt, boots, and, um, well, maybe a plastic ax. Or you could use a toilet paper roll attached to a stick. This is about improvising, folks. As for the beard, washable marker really isn't advisable, but that's totally up to you. Then again, how about a little chocolate syrup?

Wahoo! Kick butt by being one of the most popular video game characters...
Parentmap had some great Halloween costume ideas, but this Mario one is so gosh darn easy, it makes me feel like I could punch through some brick walls! A pair of overalls, red shirt, and a slightly altered red hat and buttons is just the ticket.

Take trick or treating to a whole new (big) level...as Jelly Bellies...  
I actually had a friend dress as this idea from the Childcare Network (number eight) a few years ago at a Halloween party. All you need is a somewhat see-through plastic bag and some balloons (okay, you may have to run to the store for this one.) And if you don't have the time (or patience) to blow up a cajillion balloons, what about using those balls from the ball pit (I have, like, a million)? This costume is sure to be a hit, but just remember one thing: sitting is difficult...

Because everybody likes tea, and it's easy to make...
And if you just happen to have a box of Lipton Tea (or something of that nature) and a white sheet lying around, this tea bag idea from ClevelandWomen.com (third one down) is always an easy one. However, I'm not sure it will be a big sell for kids, although parents are sure to get it right away... and maybe find themselves thirsty...

And when you just want to bring on the awesome...
Say it with me: "Last but not least..." We've got ourselves a creative genius winner from babble.com! Put your kiddo in rain gear and attach stuffed dogs and kitties to the umbrella! Voila!  It's "raining cats and dogs." And hey, it's okay if you don't tell someone you got the idea from the Internet. I won't say anything. But this clever little ensemble might just earn you the "mom who has it going on" title for your neighborhood.

Don't be Martha, just be awesome - Part III: Decorating Martha's way, or the easier way

I love my house. I really do. It's everything I dreamed about when I was living in a box--ahem, condo--in the Baltimore area just three years ago. And in the past, I liked the decorating aspect of making a house a home.

But I had kids when I got here...and table tops had to be clear (to be filled with Fischer Price Little People), plants and pictures had to be set up high or locked away, and drapes pretty much went the way of the dodo.

But in the autumn, I can't help but get giddy when I walk down the aisles of any craft store, and even though "crafting" just isn't in my DNA, I think how nice it would be to walk into my own house and feel like fall had arrived.

Enter my quest for the month of October--how to be like Martha, without being like Martha. Taking a note from the show Design on a Dime, in which they show you that rooms don't have to be expensive to be beautiful, I will show you my version, called Design with No Time, in which I take Martha's ideas and hunt down ideas that look just as good, but are easier to create.

Let's begin:


Autumn Flowers
Okay, so you can take on Martha's gallery of fall flower arrangements, which includes the ever so lovely (and complex) Autumn Palette, (striped dahlias, Chinese lanterns, and dill flower heads), OR, you can check out the pretty and petite, much less stressed out fall flower arrangement on Our Sweet Life. Both beautiful, but one will leave you with more hair...



Our Sweet Life

Candles
The idea of candlemaking always makes me think I should don some eighteenth century dress and a bonnet. Not going to happen. But I would like to at least contemplate the idea of making my candles look awesome. Martha Stewart's piece on candle molds claims, "You can use any whimsical three-dimensional object found around the house to create a rubber candle mold." Then the site used the word "finial" and I started to drift. So I found this much simpler, maybe-not-as-dazzling-but-cool, autumn design at Ideas for Home Decorating, no bonnet necessary.

Ideas for Home Decorating

Autumn Wreath
And finally, who doesn't love to drive up to a house with a swoon-worthy harvest display on their front porch. Aside from purchasing the requisite scarecrow and pumpkins from your local craft superstore, usually a door wreath of some sort completes the effect. Martha's "Autumnal Wreath" is lovely, of course. But I'm wary of wreath-making, so I think I'll try the kid's version found at The Frugal Homemaker.



The Frugal Homemaker

I just need to find some leaves...

Don't be Martha, just be awesome - Part II: Best (and easiest) of Halloween cupcakes

As mentioned in my last post, Martha Stewart I am not. Most days I have only a few goals, which include (and are pretty much limited to) keeping my house at a manageable level of mess, cooking a healthy if not altogether tasty meal, teaching my children simple life skills (such as, tackling is not generally acceptable in most social situations), and hanging on to a shred of sanity.

Enter the holiday season.

Okay you mothers with homemade costumes/three-layer cheesecakes/candles/sweaters/wreaths/etc. You exhaust me. You really do. Here's your round of applause (see my hands clapping in a circle). But I have decided, in the interest of finding success, to keep my holiday homemaking simple and fun. Last week I showed you some crazy easy fall crafts; this week, I'm taking on the world of cupcakes.

So, I figured I'd save you some time and find the easiest way to make your usual Halloween suspects--no cupcake wars necessary. I know--you're welcome.

For the hairiest, scariest spider...


celebrations.com

This simplicity winner from celebrations.com gets my vote. I reviewed several spiderific creations online before settling on this as my favorite. Although some of the others were creative and cute, this is doable, and I'm a sucker for anything with sprinkles (as are my kids).

Ms. Fox's Sweets

 For the easiest, breezy ghost...

You would be surprised (at least, I was) at the complex ghost cupcake designs out there. But then I saw this at Ms. Fox's Sweets, and I thought, "Hey, all I need is a dollop of whipped topping and two somethings for eyeballs, and BAM! Spooky cupcake."

Pinterest

For the hippest monster...

A few weeks ago, I let my two young kiddos put some frosting and eyeballs on some muffins. Voila! Monster cupcakes. But I thought, in the interest of scouting out true creativity, to give you something a little more interesting for your monster inspiration. You can thank Molly Davis on Pinterest for this one.






Edible Crafts

For the crackalackin jack-o-lantern...

It's not fall without a pumpkin, and it's not Halloween without a jack-o-lantern. But how to make one without being handy with the orange frosting? Well, this idea from Edible Crafts had me chuckling--a winner for sure. You can make it more complex or simple as desired.


For the mousiest mummy...


Spoonful

And last but, you guessed it, certainly not least, a fresh and preschooler-pleasing mummy idea from Spoonful that puts the mouse in mousarific. If I can get past the frosting part, then the rest is a piece of cake.

Hah. I crack myself up.

Happy cupcaking!

Don't be Martha, just be awesome - Part I: Spookily easy fall crafts

I have to say, I don't spend too much time worrying about my shortcomings in the homemaking department. That's probably because I've never had any Martha Stewart aspirations. Basically, if my house is clean when I entertain and the food is edible, that is a "win" in my book.

Enter the fall/holiday season. Suddenly, my friends are talking about Pinterest cupcakes and harvest porch displays. Mouthwatering, homemade baked goods are showing up, uninvited, to play dates (spooky). Several moms I know are already sewing Halloween costumes.

Hmmm. This is all a bit overwhelming for a seat-of-her-pants mom/writer who gets a gold star at the end of day when she hasn't thrown any temper tantrums (or toys). But I decided, in the spirit of maybe not being the best mom ever, but perhaps being a pretty fun one, I could try my hand at a few fall crafts with my kids.

Nervously, I entered the land of Pinterest, where "Halloween crafts" scared the Martha Stewart right out of me. But I got a hold of myself and instead typed, "quick Halloween crafts."

The results of my search, and my "craft-making trial" two days later, are as follows:

1. Because Q-tips are cheap. Okay, for my two kiddos, this Q-tip skeleton was the winner! Not only was it easy to make, but it involved no paper cutting. It used five items: Q-tips, glue (I like the Elmer's sparkly stuff, as you can tell), plastic eyes, whiteout (for the mouth/head), and construction paper. This made it to the refrigerator door's "Hall of Fame." 

From "The Chirping Moms"

Mom Around Town

2. Because drawing around your hands is fun (and tickles). Nothing gets my kids giggling like drawing around their cute little hands. That's why I was thrilled with the hand-spider I found on Pinterest. My older child spruced hers up with pom pom feet and a white-out smiley face, but all you need is the following: black construction paper, something to draw with, scissors, and glue. This also made the refrigerator door.

 

From "TishAndTrey"   3. Because seriously, no one had posted a ghost sock puppet on Pinterest. Really. I really wanted to do at least one sock puppet, and I thought, "Hey, socks look a little like ghosts." Can you believe I actually could not find one on Pinterest? Well, here's to finding one's own inspiration. Yes, the sock is dingy (maybe I should do a blog post on whiter whites, huh?), and no, it did not make the refrigerator's "Hall of Fame," but it deserves an honorable mention nonetheless! There's no supply list for this beside a (relatively) clean sock.   So have fun and be creative! Kids don't need Martha, they just want to have fun with you.

Mom Around Town   Mom Around Town

Training your kids to “feed the pig”: Teaching money saving skills from day one

Money. It may not be able to buy happiness, but it sure does make your world go ‘round. And it seems, more often than not, that no matter how much of it you bring home, there’s never quite enough.

That’s supposed to be one of the beauties of being a child. It’s a time when bills and other financial responsibilities are a distant thought, if even a thought at all. However, the truth is a little less idealistic, because let’s face it, kids become aware of money and what it can do at a very early age.

The other day, my preschooler saw someone on TV step out onto a balcony. “We need to buy one of those for our house,” she told me. And I realized, like so many parents, that I have a long, hard job ahead of teaching my kids to save and manage money. How to begin?

Well, I started by asking an expert in the money saving business. And I found the perfect financial-education whiz in Jill Castilla, Executive Vice President and Chief Credit Officer of Citizens Bank of Edmond. Here are some tips she gave me that can give any parent a head start on teaching their kids about money, spending, and saving for what they really want.

Money talks. No, I don’t mean you tell your kids to start bribing restaurant hostesses, etc. What I mean is that you need to have some talks about money. Castilla suggests you discuss your own spending habits with your children and explain why you did or didn’t purchase something. If your children are older, educate them about credit cards and how mistakes can have a long-term negative effect. Show them what credit reports look like and what they mean (these days, a credit score can impact everything from getting a job to even purchasing a cell phone). Use whatever personal experiences you can to bring the message home.

Discuss your own spending habits with your children and explain why you did or didn’t purchase something.

Sweeten the pot for your own children by matching the money they put into their savings account.

Open a bank account early (and maybe play a little 401(k) with them). Castilla encourages parents to open bank accounts for their children as soon as possible. That way, when kids receive birthday or other special occasion money, parents can discuss the benefits of putting the money in an account and saving for something bigger versus blowing the money on a toy that a child may not really want (an impulse buy—who does that?). Castilla sweetens the pot for her own children by matching the money they put into their savings account, a strategy that will have kids thinking about investments long before they land that first job!

Lead by example. And last but not least, Castilla emphasized the importance of teaching by example. Whether you’ve always practiced good money management or you need to turn over that proverbial new leaf, it’s never too late to watch your spending and start saving. Thinking through big purchases, resisting the urge to always buy on credit, and setting financial goals is as important for you as it is for your child, and you will establish a pattern of smart-money behavior that your children can model for years to come.

Setting financial goals is as important for you as it is for your child.

For more money education resources, check out the Parent Money Manual from the American Bankers Association or Feed the Pig.

Putting America to work? How 'bout them kids?

I remember my first job. Knowing that I'm female, you may be able to guess what it was. Ding, ding, ding! That' right. Babysitting. And I hated it. I was proficient enough to get called back frequently, but I often found reasons not to go, having decided that whatever I was saving for could not be worth several hours of toddler snot and baby poo.

Man, how my life has changed. :)

But anyway, my point is that kids are going to start thinking about ways to make money early on, especially when they see their friends with cool gadgets and whatnot. Next week, my blog post will cover how you can help your kids learn to save and manage money, but this week, I'm going to feature a few ways those youngsters can get more moola beyond the "Happy Birthday Princess" checks from grandma.

First off--the law. Quit your snoring and sit up. Here's what the federal government and the State of Oklahoma allow:

The Fair Labor Standards Act (FLSA) sets 14 as the minimum age for most non-agricultural work. However, at any age, youth may deliver newspapers; perform in radio, television, movie, or theatrical productions; work in businesses owned by their parents (except in mining, manufacturing or hazardous jobs); and perform babysitting or perform minor chores around a private home. Also, at any age, youth may be employed as homeworkers to gather evergreens and make evergreen wreaths.

Okay, so my little guys are probably not going to be making evergreen wreaths anytime soon (is that for real?), and I haven't had any television agents come calling (and Miley Cyrus really isn't making the case for my kids to have a future in entertainment), so let's talk about some of the top jobs your kids can do BEFORE they reach the magical age of fourteen.

Babysitting and mother's helper. This is probably going to be your child's--especially a girl's (sorry, it is what it is; at the present time, girls still do more babysitting)--best opportunity to make decent money per hour. However, a few things to mention. First of all, he/she needs to set a rate to avoid being taken advantage of by stingy parents (by the way, it is downright despicable to underpay your babysitter, so don't do it!). Also, check into baby certification courses. Oklahoma does not have a minimum age for babysitting, but you know your child and what he/she can handle. If your child is watching your younger kids or someone else's kids, and they are under fourteen, make sure someone close by is available to help them and that they are aware of what to do in an emergency. And starting out as a mother's helper is a great way to get experience for babysitting. (See more babysitting info on an earlier blog post.)

Landscaping etc. Weeding is an excellent source of income for any youngster (and bonus points for getting a hyperactive kid to spend that energy on something useful!). Raking leaves and other groundskeeping activities are good jobs as well. As for anything involving machinery, do your research as to what is legal and go with a "better safe than sorry" approach. I do not want to see a nine-year-old with a chain saw in my neighbor's yard. Just sayin.'

Cleaning. I'm not talking about your twelve-year-old going to people's homes alone and doing a floor-to-ceiling housekeeping. But if an elderly person or overwhelmed mom (or you!) needs a little extra help with household chores, this is an opportunity for your child to not only make money, but to take care of a home--something both girls and boys need to know before heading off into the world.

Neighborhood watch. Hah! You frowned when you read that, didn't you? I don't mean the real neighborhood watch. Instead, I'm referring to opportunities to help neighbors who are out of town feed the cats, clean the litterbox, tame the plants, collect mail, etc. And this is a great way to build strong relationships between your neighbors and kids.

Finally, what this all comes down to is making a parental decision about your children's level of responsibility and maturity. If they will be performing a job outside your home for a neighbor, let them practice it at home. Keep tabs on payment and job satisfaction (both for your kid and the employer), and not only will your child build up that bank account, but they will learn skills early on that will help them be the kind of people (and workers!) you want them to be.

Let's do homework! Teachers' wise words on getting the job done...

I don't know much about inspiring my kids to do homework (I mean, is anyone ever inspired to do homework?). However, I do know my parents' "take no prisoners" approach caused me to be meticulous about completing assignments, something I carried with me into my college years. An approach that worked well for me--that continues to work well with me--is delayed gratification. Once I get the hard stuff out of the way (studying, cleaning house, paying bills, etc.), then I can play. Simple, yes. But it doesn't work for everyone.

So, in order to seek out methods for helping today's kiddos, who carry technology around like a vital organ, I talked to a group of friends who-are-teachers to get their suggestions on how to motivate children to take homework seriously, as well as learn habits that will last a lifetime (or at least through college graduation). I found myself impressed, amused, and yes, even surprised at what they suggested.

Don't make it a fight. Kids buck orders. Really, I think most of us do, independent creatures that we are. Give your kid a choice: do your homework now, or give up something fun later (outside playtime, television, games, or an activity). If they choose to play outside first, say, "Okay," but give them a limited amount of time with the caveat, "If you did this now, you wouldn't have to worry about it the rest of the night."

Setting aside the time. Kids often have short attention spans. One teacher friend suggested setting a timer for homework in fifteen- or twenty-minute intervals and giving a certain amount of free time (or a "break") in between. She also suggests a rewards-based system, including sticker charts for younger children and changing the Wi-Fi password and giving it to older children when they complete their work.

Different strokes for different folks. And continuing on the rewards track...as adults, we're motivated by a paycheck and free time, am I right? Well, kids of all ages are also motivated by material rewards ("the paycheck"), as well as free time and autonomy. Find out what makes your child tick (TV time, computer time, privileges, special prizes, etc.) and then use it as a reward when they accomplish what needs to be done. Sometimes, this means balancing passions with challenges. For example, one of my teacher friends, Katie Scott, explains her motivation techniques for her elementary school class and her own children:

"Motivation is more about creating motivation within the child...what are they driven by? I try to motivate my own kids and students by finding their passions. I look at their learning styles--how do they learn? If reading is the most difficult, but they love together time, read with your child, take turns on each page. If writing is difficult, create some fun with a squishy toy to help keep their hands relaxed."

This is where your parenting skills and knowledge of your kid come in handy. And sometimes, like most things, the process may take some trial and error. 

And if all else fails...

Early bird gets the worm. If your kiddo didn't complete his or her work the night before, drag them out of bed early to finish. 'Nuff said there. I'm certain this would have worked for me as a kid too. I mean, who likes to get up early? The only con is that you have to get up early too...

And at the end of the day, tell your children why homework is important. Maybe they can't see the value in American History or Algebra II, but remind them what they can expect by working hard in school. And, if you must, pull out the M&Ms. :)

Discipline innovation - a mom's suggestion for addressing common misbehaviors

This week, I just have to share something...

Not long ago, I had been trying to come up with ways to deal with behavior problems. Currently, we're experiencing the "terrible threes" (which, if you didn't know, can be much more painful than the "terrible twos"), and I'd like to use something a little different from the threat of corporal punishment or timeout.

In fact, I wanted to get away from threats in general.

I hate the fact that my three-year-old has learned the value of threats--from me. After hearing me say things like, "If you don't put your shoes on in two minutes, we are not going to the park to be chased by the ducks," and "If you don't pick up Mr. Potato head and all his various limbs and sensory organs, you are going to have to go sit in your pink chair," my daughter got the hang of a good threat. (By the way, a comfortable time out chair is not effective--just so you know.)

In fact, just the other day my daughter warned, "If you don't get me some crackers, I am not going to talk to you." Okay, so maybe my first response was "Oh I'd like to see that happen," and maybe her wording needs some work, but I can definitely hear myself in that little voice.

The thing is, I don't sit in the anti-spanking camp, but I do find the irony in hitting a child to discipline him or her for lashing out. But the value of timeouts has started to fade, especially when my daughter chose timeout over helping me pick up the other day (who wouldn't want to sit in a big pink chair instead of cleaning?). What to do?

Well, two different moms suggested something with which we've experienced great success, at least over the past few months. The idea falls in line with a sticker chart for performing chores or using the potty, but it comes with a built-in consequence. Let me explain:

Step one - Find a jar or large glass (maybe something plastic if you have a monkey-climber, mischievous one-year-old like I do). Choose something transparent but fun.

Step two - Get something to fill it with. Suggestions range from marbles (also a problem with the one-year-old, who eats everything, and I mean everything, including still-alive, squirming, larger-than-life beetles) to colored pom poms (look in the craft section of the store) to cotton balls (easy and costs a dollar-ish).

Step three - Buy a swoon-worthy prize, nothing too expensive or fancy, but that gets those little eyes to light up like Christmas.

Step four - Reward good behaviors (talking/playing nice with siblings, helping Mom pick up, doing chores without being asked, finishing veggies, etc.) with a cotton ball.

Step five - And here it is! Take away a cotton ball (or whatever) when your child misbehaves. Yes, this may mean you threaten him or her once. But don't do it over and over--just take the cotton ball out. I have found that when I tell my child I am unhappy with her behavior, she automatically knows this means she will lose a cotton ball, and her behavior overall has improved. Becky Scharf, mother of four and administrator for Stepping Stones Mothers Day Out, takes it a step further: "I have them put the marbles in and take them out themselves so it is more concrete for them to see their reward or consequence," she explains. Can you say "effective"?

I mean, it's not magic. I haven't found the Holy Grail of discipline or anything, but it has made a difference, and with kids at any age, that's all you can ask. 

For more ideas about how to discipline without losing your cool, check out these ideas.

Keeping your head level this fall – Stress busting advice for every super parent

September is just around the corner! And with the fall season comes a flurry of activity, culminating in the fun-filled (but stress-inducing) holiday season. But before you grab that paper bag and start hyperventilating, let me tell you something: I’m here to help.

Okay, not me exactly. In fact, I might qualify as the poster child for “How Not to Handle Fall Anxiety.” But the good thing is, as your local, just-a-little-on-the-right-side-of-crazy mommy blogger, I’ve got some people on my speed-dial who know how to help fretful parents calm the heck down. So, here are some tips from your local stress experts. Breathe in...breathe out...

Work it out. Taking time away from, well, everything for a little physical fitness may seem selfish, but Patrick Wellington, a personal trainer and Fitness Director of Key Health Institute of Edmond (formerly Transformation Fitness), argues, “If you prioritize your health, it helps you be a better parent. Taking time to work out will help you do all your other priorities better by improving your mood, energy and patience.”

Physical activity such as yoga, Wellington says, and any other exercise that helps regulate breathing or offers mental meditation time (such as running), are especially useful for managing stress. He said instead of overdoing your workout once or twice a week, spend a little time being active each day, because “Something is always better than nothing.” (For a list of yoga centers in Edmond, click here.)

Eat your way to Zen. “The right diet or snack can often make the difference between coping smoothly under pressure and falling to pieces,” says Paula Partlow, a registered and licensed dietitian at Banister and Associates.

That means that when we are faced with an overwhelming schedule of activities and ever-growing to-do list, one thing we can control is what goes in and out of our body. When it comes to stress, Partlow gives very specific advice for keeping the body at a peak level, which includes drinking plenty of water, eating fiber-rich fruits and vegetables throughout the day, starting the day off with breakfast to avoid over-eating and crashing later on, and eating at least two daily servings of good quality lean protein, such as skinless chicken or turkey, fish, lean beef, or eggs and peanuts for non-meat options.

And although the weather is chillier and the celebrating is stepping up, she suggests limiting alcohol, sugar and caffeine, which dehydrate and are filled with empty calories. Putting good things in, in the long run, helps the mind and body deal with change and busy schedules.

Be better together. One of the best ways to take on the stresses of a new school year is working together as a family to talk to one another about expectations and figuring out what needs to be handled when. Jackie Shaw, a licensed therapist and Executive Director of Edmond Family Counseling, says, “Preparation and communication tend to go hand-in-hand in easing stress and helping improve our outlook on our ability to cope with new events.”

A new school year brings change, which is stressful for anyone at any age. Yet, families in harmony can go a long way to making this time of year fun. “I have found that the children and parents who have the easiest transitions are those who work together to make the future exciting and fulfilling,” Shaw adds.

So, just remember, as a parent, you set the tone for the fall and holiday season. But, don’t let that be another stressor. Instead, let it make you determined to take care of your body and mind and enjoy all the wonderful things this time of year has to offer!