Keeping your head level this fall – Stress busting advice for every super parent

September is just around the corner! And with the fall season comes a flurry of activity, culminating in the fun-filled (but stress-inducing) holiday season. But before you grab that paper bag and start hyperventilating, let me tell you something: I’m here to help.

Okay, not me exactly. In fact, I might qualify as the poster child for “How Not to Handle Fall Anxiety.” But the good thing is, as your local, just-a-little-on-the-right-side-of-crazy mommy blogger, I’ve got some people on my speed-dial who know how to help fretful parents calm the heck down. So, here are some tips from your local stress experts. Breathe in...breathe out...

Work it out. Taking time away from, well, everything for a little physical fitness may seem selfish, but Patrick Wellington, a personal trainer and Fitness Director of Key Health Institute of Edmond (formerly Transformation Fitness), argues, “If you prioritize your health, it helps you be a better parent. Taking time to work out will help you do all your other priorities better by improving your mood, energy and patience.”

Physical activity such as yoga, Wellington says, and any other exercise that helps regulate breathing or offers mental meditation time (such as running), are especially useful for managing stress. He said instead of overdoing your workout once or twice a week, spend a little time being active each day, because “Something is always better than nothing.” (For a list of yoga centers in Edmond, click here.)

Eat your way to Zen. “The right diet or snack can often make the difference between coping smoothly under pressure and falling to pieces,” says Paula Partlow, a registered and licensed dietitian at Banister and Associates.

That means that when we are faced with an overwhelming schedule of activities and ever-growing to-do list, one thing we can control is what goes in and out of our body. When it comes to stress, Partlow gives very specific advice for keeping the body at a peak level, which includes drinking plenty of water, eating fiber-rich fruits and vegetables throughout the day, starting the day off with breakfast to avoid over-eating and crashing later on, and eating at least two daily servings of good quality lean protein, such as skinless chicken or turkey, fish, lean beef, or eggs and peanuts for non-meat options.

And although the weather is chillier and the celebrating is stepping up, she suggests limiting alcohol, sugar and caffeine, which dehydrate and are filled with empty calories. Putting good things in, in the long run, helps the mind and body deal with change and busy schedules.

Be better together. One of the best ways to take on the stresses of a new school year is working together as a family to talk to one another about expectations and figuring out what needs to be handled when. Jackie Shaw, a licensed therapist and Executive Director of Edmond Family Counseling, says, “Preparation and communication tend to go hand-in-hand in easing stress and helping improve our outlook on our ability to cope with new events.”

A new school year brings change, which is stressful for anyone at any age. Yet, families in harmony can go a long way to making this time of year fun. “I have found that the children and parents who have the easiest transitions are those who work together to make the future exciting and fulfilling,” Shaw adds.

So, just remember, as a parent, you set the tone for the fall and holiday season. But, don’t let that be another stressor. Instead, let it make you determined to take care of your body and mind and enjoy all the wonderful things this time of year has to offer!

 

Play by the rules and don't sing the school bus blues

School is officially back! And all the parents say, "Let's get this party started." Take the kids to the curb, put them on the big yellow bus, and blow a kiss, because it's learning time!

Now, I have little, little ones, so my experience with the school bus consists of, well, nothing, unless you count the times I try to race it around the neighborhood on my morning runs (spoiler alert: I always lose). However, in the interest of fulfilling the duties of a proper mommy blogger and because I've seen some nasty footage of bus behavior on television (yikes!), I decided to take on the issue of how to deal with certain school bus situations, which, I hope, can result in a more positive experience for everyone.

Fortunately, Steve Nola from Deer Creek Public Schools, gave me some sound advice for both newbies and bus-riding veterans.

If you're new...

• Map it. Make sure your child knows where the bus stop is and how to get home from there. A practice walk is never a bad thing (and burns calories--bonus!).
• Go over the rules. Sit down with your child and talk about appropriate behavior. You know the Ben Franklin saying: "An ounce of prevention..."
• There are no stupid questions. Kids should know that they are always welcome to ask the driver any question.
• Hi! My name is... "New kids might want to introduce themselves to the driver," Nola says, "as that makes it a little less uncomfortable being in the strange cheese box." (By the way, LOVE that name for the bus. My preschooler is already using it exclusively.)

And for everyone...

• If you can't do it in your parents car...it's probably a no no on the bus too. This includes fighting, wrestling, swearing, touching another student, screaming, and inappropriate conversation. "Ninety-nine percent of the bus drivers will tell you that any behavior that takes the eyes of the driver off the road, longer than one to two seconds, is unacceptable," Nola adds.
• If you're child is having an issue with another student...don't hesitate to speak to the driver. They can address the issue and take it further, through the appropriate channels, if need be.
• If you're having an issue with the driver or transportation in general...take it to the head of transportation. It's best to avoid the middle man and communicate directly to someone who can handle the situation. If that doesn't solve the problem, someone in charge of communicating with parents can address it sooner than the superintendent, so check out your school system's staff to find who might be your best advocate.

At the end of the day, parents who encourage their kids to behave with respect to their bus driver and kindness to the other bus riders are doing their kids a big favor. Because we all know that school isn't just about learning book knowledge. It's about teaching your child how to live life in an effective, positive, successful way.

What a chore! Getting things done around the house - Mary Poppins style

"With every job that must be done there is an element of fun."

Well, Mary Poppins, you try telling that to my kiddos, who, try as they might, have not been able to get their beds to make themselves at the snap of a finger. I too have tried that particular trick on the dishes and laundry and can safely say that no matter how big my smile, the result of snapping fingers is a big, fat nothing.

Yet, I do believe that getting stuff done around the house can be fun. For myself, I've implemented a few techniques that have had relatively positive results for me. This includes playing boogie-worthy music in the kitchen (downside being that the boogying becomes a distraction), timing myself (downside being my frustration when I realize spaghetti sauce has emblazoned itself on the microwave, and I won't be beating that timer any time soon), and talking to my mom/sister/friends on the phone (downside being that my Bluetooth has disappeared into the bowels of my mini van, and the cell phone doesn't fare so well after being dropped in the toilet).

But I have kids! Yes! Free labor (do not tell DHS I said so). Of course, two kids under the age of four do not good helpers make. I mean, yes, they like to help, but I'm going to be honest and tell you they're not so good at it. The only thing my preschooler wants to Windex is my toddler, so I've decided to keep their chores strictly to picking up. But that didn't keep me from hunting down ways to get kids interested--and even excited--about lending a helping hand.

1. Chart it. Visit Goal For It, where you can design a cute, free chore chart. Not sure how to get the kids going on it? Erin Griffith, Edmond mom of four kiddos, gave me the following helpful advice:
"Our oldest three kids have "Responsibility & Commitment" charts. THEY choose three age appropriate, task oriented chores (i.e., read book, make bed, empty dishwasher, feed dogs, brush teeth, practice instrument, etc.) and WE choose two character oriented (shared toys, serve others, positive attitude, be helpful, etc.). At the end of the day, we place magnets according to performance. These charts never have to be perfect, but rather, we are trying to instill a strong work ethic and sense of family responsibility. They also serve as a good tool in earning their weekly activities."

2. Ready, set, go! My timer idea is not original, as I found out while searching online and conversing with Griffith,  the super mom of four. Kids love to compete, especially when prizes are involved. You don't have to pit them against each other; just give your kids a goal with a prize in mind. And prizes don't have to be big deals either. Ice cream, popsicles, or "we get to go outside and play family basketball when this is done" is all that's required.

3. Do it together, and don't forget to take a break. Nothing says family like accomplishing things together while having a fun time. So turn up the music or talk while you do dishes, fold laundry, or clean windows. And don't overdo it! From my own experience growing up, keeping up with chores throughout the week felt so much better (and doable) than a four-hour cleaning extravaganza on Saturday morning. Remind those kids if you can get the work done during the week, they will have more free time available for the weekend. This is a lesson that will stick with them for years to come.

Want more ideas? Check out a great ehow.com article here.

Getting kids ready part two - First day jitter fixers

Last week I had some talented teachers give you the lowdown on preparing your kids to ease back into the school year. And you're grateful, I know. ;-) But whether your kiddo is bouncing off the walls with excitement to go back or facing you down with a pouty lip, saying, "I'm not feeling well," you know the first day of school can be high on the anxiety charts for even the most fluttery social butterfly.

Well, after cornering my usual posse of moms, as well as digging around in my friends' childhoods (at least, I think they're still my friends after frequent interrogations!), I've got a few suggestions for making the very first day of school a winner.

1. Talk to me. That's right, talking makes the world go 'round (not money, in case you were confused). Nothing's better than reminding your kids how much fun they had last year, how much fun they'll have this year, and bringing up any special times that will have them thinking: "This school thing--it's not so bad."

2. How do you do? Most schools have an open house or similar event to give your children the chance to be introduced to their teacher and classroom before the first day. A familiar face goes a long way to reducing social anxiety, so don't skip this.

3. The more the merrier. Why can't the first day be a special event? Maybe coordinate with a best friend's parent so your child can arrive at school with a buddy. Two's company!

4. Make a note. Be that crazy mom or dad who puts a note in the backpack or lunchbox. Get creative and go beyond the sweet "Love ya," and write about your favorite summer memory or why you think your kid is so awesome. Boosting confidence or reminding your children how much they mean to you makes the world a more manageable place for them.

5. Talk to me - again. And when they get home...listen. Ask questions that demand more than a "yes" or "no" answer, and look for the emotions under the words. With a little patience, even the most reluctant child may eventually spill the beans about anything that bothered him or her. I mean, I still call my momma after a challenging day. At any age, a hug and words of encouragement are priceless.

Getting kids ready to go back to school – From the mouths of your friendly neighborhood teachers

Over the summer, many of us parents have been absorbed in chauffeuring the kids to summer camps, swimming lessons, and the snow cone stand down the street with the awesome macaroon flavor. Who has time to think ahead?

But already, signs in Target and Walmart scream “BACK TO SCHOOL SUPPLIES,” and suddenly, we look at our kids, standing in chewed-up flip flops and chocolate ice cream-stained T-shirts, and realize we’d better start thinking about bus schedules and number 2 pencils.

Thankfully, we have some great teachers in the area to give you a head start on firing those kids up for another year. I've included their full interviews (just click on the name) to a series of questions that should give you some answers for making the first day awesome. My expert panel included the following:

Jamie Minter, fifth grade teacher at John Ross Elementary
Walaya Lupp, a high school reading specialist in the Oklahoma City area
Annetta Cain, second grade teacher at Spring Creek Elementary 
Kathleen Schwiebert, sixth grade reading teacher at Deer Creek Intermediate School

Here are the highlights!

How can parents help their kids prepare for going back to school?

Jamie: I don't think you can just pick a day and say, "Hey it's time to get back in the swing of things.” But instead, just keep a flow of creative learning activities throughout the summer months. My number one piece of advice is to READ.  Parents and children both need to pick out a good book for the summer!

Walaya: Children who have a lot of different experiences, such as museums, parks, library visits, or even just a trip through the woods, build what's called schema. This better enables them to connect with what they are learning in school.

Annette:  I sign my four kids up with the Edmond Library to take part in their summer reading program.  It provides little incentives along the way to read, and the children have a chance at winning some pretty big prizes at the end of the summer if their names are drawn.

Kathleen: Start regulating bedtimes and wake up times about a week or more before school starts.  Here in Deer Creek, the Intermediate School starts classes at 7:30 a.m., so if a child has been going to bed and getting up whenever he or she feels like it, that 6 a.m. wake-up time is going to be a shock!

How can parents get kids excited about going back to school?

Jamie: Getting the kids excited comes from the parents being positive and excited as well. Back to school shopping for supplies and clothes should be fun and not stressful.

Walaya: Ask them what they liked about what the older kids were doing the year before, and take your child to any activities the school is having beforehand.

Annette: Communicating in a positive way with your children is critical. Talk about the new and exciting things this school year will bring. Contact some friends from school and try to get together before school starts. 

Kathleen: If parents are moaning about the "end of summer,” kids will jump right in and express that same feeling.  I am a big believer about talking about hopes and dreams and talking about how to achieve those things.

And finally, what do you look forward to most in a new school year?

Jamie: What I look forward to the most is meeting my new students. I am blessed each year to be given twenty-plus students, and it's almost like opening a present. You never know what's inside, and you can't wait to find out.

Walaya: I always look forward to meeting new students and building new relationships with my kids.  I'm a reading specialist, so my love is about growing new readers and showing kids how to pick out books that they like.

Annette: I can't wait to meet my students! Each child in my class is like a puzzle to me, and I love trying to figure them out!

Kathleen: At the end of every school year, when my students leave my classroom, I am quite sure I will never love another group of kids as I have loved them.  Then, when August rolls around, I meet a whole new group of kids, and in a few days, I am learning names and personalities and I start to think - I like these kids, and a whole new journey begins!