Pushing your kids--how much is too much? Three signs that you're turning into THAT parent

This month, in honor of the Olympics, I've been chatting about getting those kiddos into sports at a young age. And based on the information I found out last week, some sports (think gymnastics and soccer) are great outlets for the little ones, as long as the activity is done in moderation and with a whole bunch of fun.


But it doesn't take much for a mom or dad with good intentions to become competitive on their children's behalf, and even though we know we need to stay on top of those kids (I mean, kids have it pretty swell these days, hey? An IPhone at four, right?) to keep them from becoming entitled lazy heads, it's easy to go the other way and cross a few lines that might make us more of a "Dance Mom" than our kids' best advocates.


I talked to several coaches who work with a variety of levels and ages in their respective sports programs, and here's a few signs that you may be turning into someone that makes other people shake their heads and click their tongues. Come on, you know what I'm talking about! You've seen those parents too!


1. Your kid doesn't want to go. When I talked to certain program directors, burn out was one of the biggest signs that a kid may be overdoing it. Jackie Brenner, Director of Figure Skating at Arctic Edge in Edmond, says a parent may be pushing too hard "when your child isn't having fun and doesn't want to practice anymore." She says it's okay to seek out a professional to understand the appropriate practice amount for your child's age and level.


At Oklahoma Gold Gymnastics, owner Steve Hoehner strongly recommends that parents place preschoolers in the program only one day a week. "You have to remember that a child's mind is different from a parent's mind. We think more is better. But confidence will go out the window if a kid is pushed too far, too soon."


2. You're thinking too much about the future. Olympic medals? Major league sports opportunities? College scholarships? If you've put your kid in a sport for any of the above reasons, you may need to adjust your attitude, or your child may hate the very thing you're hoping will bring  him or her success. Yolanda Thomas, Director of the Lil' Kickers program at SoccerCity, says parents should ask themselves this: "Why am I putting my kid in this?" If it's to build confidence, strength, coordination, and skills, then great. If the parent did the sport and wants to share it with  his or her child, that's also a good reason, but remember this: "Children learn while they're having fun," says Thomas.


3. Your kid is starting to deal with injuries. The problem with setting expectations too high and scheduling too much practice? Chronic injuries from overuse or accidental injures from exhaustion. The consensus from all the sports directors was that a parent who has the wrong focus will push a kid too far, and this could result in injury.


But on the other side of that are those kids who push themselves, who need you to be the one to keep them from burning out or hurting themselves, both of which will lead to the worst outcome: inactivity. And if there's any question, schedule a doctor's visit right away, says Chris Berry, Associate Executive at the Edmond YMCA. A medical professional can help you pinpoint what may be causing an injury and how to prevent it without forcing your child to give up something he or she enjoys doing.


So don't be the type of parent a reality series would love to showcase. We all know what we think of them. Be the type of parents who look out for their kids, and if those kids do make it to the top of their sport, they'll be able to say "Thanks" for all the right reasons.