I used to be pretty awesome at taking care of myself. My hair was cut on a regular basis, I shopped frequently to have the right "look," and when I needed a girls' night, I gosh darn put one of those things together.
You know the next line in my story: "And then I had kids..."
I will give you Oklahoma girls some credit. When I show up to the elementary school, I very often appear as though I just stepped out of a wind tunnel and/or got dressed in the dark. On the other hand, perfectly coifed moms, headed to the office or not, surround me, and I shrink into my fluorescent tennis shoes and chant in my head, "Don't see me. Don't see me."
But my rushed mornings aside, I realize that, as a parent, many of us can get caught up in letting ourselves fade into the background. This doesn't just mean style alludes our neglected wardrobes, but also that our spirits and bodies get sacrificed on the alter of supreme parenthood. And it is so cool that we're so dedicated. Yes, patting myself on the back right now. But keeping with the theme for this month, I want to ask this: does neglecting yourself necessarily make you the best parent?
The verdict of the experts has been a resounding "no." In this blog series, we've already talked about relaxation and physical activity as items that are essential to a good parent's toolbox. But what about going that extra step? What about pampering yourself, just every so often? And if you did that, what would it look like?
Here are a few examples:
Hobbies: I enjoy running, and I'll admit it's easier to fit in than other hobbies. My other hobby is playing the piano, but it always seems to get pushed to the back of my schedule. Some of you may enjoy a round of golf, or maybe even joining a hobbyist group, like one that focuses on a craft. It's important for our children to see us making time to do things that relax us (beyond zoning out in front of the television). Why? Because monkey see, monkey do.
Personal time: One thing my husband and I enjoy is the quiet time we have between putting the kids down and going to bed ourselves. That time can be used for just about anything (I try to stay away from social media during that period, which can sometimes up my anxiety levels). Whether you like journaling, reading, or doing devotions, it's important to find a time of day that is uniquely yours. If you don't currently have that, see where it might naturally fit in your schedule.
Support: Whether it's a Bible study group or the aforementioned group of hobbyists, meeting with others outside your family to pursue similar interests can be refreshing. Whether this is a weekly meet up, or you simply put together a girls or boys' night out, socialization with other parents is its own form of pampering yourself.
Shopping: This is one you have to take in stride. Mismanaging money or overspending can certainly lead to more stress, so make sure you know your limit before you head out to shop. But treating yourself every once in a while to a new piece of clothing or long-awaited electronic device reminds you and your family that all that hard-earned money doesn't just go to those kiddos (and it's good for them to realize that too).
Lookin' and feelin' good: A day at the spa? A massage? Maybe it's not an every week type of thing, (or maybe not even every month), but every once is a while, it's good to have someone take care of you, even if that's just spending thirty minutes getting a haircut.
Because what it comes down to is this: taking care of yourself is not selfish. It shows your kids that you value yourself, and that gives them a model for valuing themselves. Obviously, we have to balance the behavior of taking care of ourselves with other behaviors that show we care about others, but neglecting yourself doesn't have to be the name of the parenting game.
Well, that wraps up our series on taking a "parent time out." Next month we head into local fall activities that will get you in the spirit of the autumn season. So stay tuned!
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