Thursday, August 7, 2014

Perfectly imperfect - Being the best parent you can be

Once upon a time, I dreamed of being a perfect parent. I would rock my baby in a perfectly decorated nursery, and she would immediately drift off to sleep. I would beam as my child executed perfect manners, making him the teacher's pet. Finally, my child would run across the stage to grab his or her high school diploma, shouting "I got into Harvard! With a full ride scholarship!"

And then, cold hard reality hit me in the face.

Being a parent is one of the best jobs in the world. It's also one of the most challenging, unnoticed, and frustrating ones. For example, if you sit in a restaurant (movie theater, airplane, etc.) and your child behaves, no one notices. If your child has a nuclear meltdown, the raised eyebrows and frowns of strangers abound, and you are effectively relegated to "poor parenting" status. The problem is, your child might be both angelic and horrendous on different days (or even the same one).

They're kids.

So how do you know if you're doing a good job? How do you know if you're doing a poor job, or a fantastic one? Is there a parenting measuring stick? How do you succeed at parenting? How do you survive it?

Well, I'm the first to tell you I won't be earning any parenting gold stars in the near future. Sometimes I yell. Sometimes I feed ice cream for dinner. Sometimes I buy a toy just for the heck of it, and sometimes I really, really just want my kids to go to school and leave me alone. But on the same note, I love, love, LOVE my kids. I'd do anything for them. I know this, because every time I see a big dog, I jump in front of my kids (and not only am I scared of big dogs myself...I also kind of like my face). But how do I make sure I'm giving my children what they really need from me?

Well, in the interest of answering those questions, I've again leaned on some local experts, including a school principal, a guidance counselor, a family counselor, and a parent of four grown children. One thing they all emphasized is the importance of communication at any age, but they also had a great deal more to share. So here's the lineup for August...

August 14 - The power of presence. During my interviews, I found that a prevailing theme, in addition to communication, appeared to be simply being a presence in your child's life. The local experts share their thoughts on how to do just that.

August 21 - Connecting to your child's world. What does it really mean to be an involved parent? Is it all the chauffeuring? Leading the Girl Scout troupe? Attending every practice? I'll share some tips on how you can make sure you're connecting with what matters to your child.

August 28 - Weather rough waters. Finally, no one is perfect. Our children will have difficult moments. Some will have more challenges than others. How can you, as a concerned parent, work with your child and others to help overcome misbehavior? We'll tackle the question head on.

So stay tuned! It promises to be an interesting month. But at the end of it, I hope you know what it means to be a perfectly imperfect parent.

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