Many of us have much to be thankful for in this country. It would be hard for anyone to deny that it is, in general, a great place to live. It's not that we don't have people living in poverty, because we do. It's not that we don't have hate and bigotry; we've got that too. It's not perfect. But on Independence Day, we can be grateful for quite a bit. We should be grateful to those who gave their lives to make this a country; to the men and women who fought for race and gender equality; and to those who work to ensure we all have the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. These are battles that still rage. But at least we get to fight them.
I'm a little obsessed with dystopian novels right now (think Hunger Games, 1984, This Perfect Day, Legend, and Divergent). I had to take a break so my paranoia would die down and my husband would stop giving me the raised-eyebrow look. But I'm obsessed with what our country will look like a hundred or so years from now. I'm fascinated by the possibilities for technology, but also the change in political and global climate. But of course, I won't be alive to worry about it. However, my kids and grandkids (and so on) will inherit what we make of our country today, so I have ten wishes for the America that will be theirs.
1. A country where everyone has a voice. Race and gender are no longer hurdles for voting, but representation of women and many minority groups is still way down in state and Federal government. We need to raise up politicians who really want to serve, of both genders and all races.
2. A country with top-notch education. The reports of our children falling behind others in the world is disheartening. We're a bright bunch. Public schools and universities must continue to improve and innovate to stay ahead of the game.
3. A country that understands its stewardship of the environment. We've only got one planet. Best not to screw that up!
4. A country that still rewards innovation and hard work. We have a rich history of talented inventors and entrepreneurs, and we need education and job opportunities that will help discover those brilliant individuals in the next generation.
5. A country that celebrates its soldiers and public servants. My brother gets deployed next month, and I'm thrilled to be living in a country that supports and honors our soldiers and their families, even if they disagree with what they are sent to do. Although federal employees get a bad rap sometimes, it's important to remember they too work hard to make this country a better place to live.
6. A country where anyone can dream big. Whether you were born in a box or a mansion, this is a country where every child has the chance to dream about bettering his or her circumstances. Let's keep is that way! (Refer to numbers 3 and 4 above.)
7. A country that has more love than hate to give. "Love your neighbor as yourself" says it all.
8. A country that cares about the downtrodden. Bad luck, bad decisions, natural disasters, and ill-timed deaths can all affect someone's circumstances. We have typically been a country with big hearts (both here and abroad). Personally, I believe that's why we're blessed.
9. A country that has powerful allies. Oh, Mr. Snowden. You little stinker. Why are you tearing us down? We need our allies. We do.
10. A country that is a positive force for the rest of the world. Giving to the poor. Holding to a high standard in war and peace. A technological and economic powerhouse. A government that is an example for others. Lofty ideals, I know. But we are capable of them all.
Now, I just have to do my part to make it come true.
Showing posts with label children and grief. Show all posts
Showing posts with label children and grief. Show all posts
Thursday, July 4, 2013
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Fielding the tough questions - being a parent when disaster strikes
Once upon a time, I lived near the Warren Theater in Moore, Oklahoma. That's why, when the devastating tornado churned through the city last week, I held my breath and watched with clasped hands. I have family and friends in the area, and my thoughts, like anyone else's with "people" in Moore, were frantic with worry.
Well, the people I know survived the storm, but several family members attended the funeral for one of the tornado's victims--a nine-year-old boy. In addition, people from the area have told me that seeing the pictures on TV is one thing, but viewing the damage up close, in the area where you live your life everyday, requires some adjustment.
As a parent, I worry about the effect of the news coverage on my own young children and have strived to keep my viewing to the morning and evening hours when they are asleep. But storm damage is something most Oklahoma kiddos will witness at one point or another, and being prepared to answer the big questions from our little ones is another part of preparing for severe weather.
First of all, it's probably a safe bet that most kids are going to be curious about what a tornado is. The challenge is achieving comprehension, as many young children don't understand words like "instability" or "air pressure." However, Discovery Kids does a nice job explaining the science in kid-friendly terms here, and I also would recommend the Science Museum of Oklahoma, which has some great displays for hands-on learning.
But for most of us, talking about the science of a tornado is the easy part. It's what a tornado does--the lives lost, people injured, and homes destroyed--that gives us cause for anxiety and sadness. For little ones, the aftermath of a storm may overwhelm, so here's a few things you can do when disaster strikes.
1. Limit viewing of media coverage, and be a good role model. Jackie Shaw, Director of Edmond Family Counseling, has fielded questions from parents regarding best courses of action in the event of a tornado like the one in Moore. She encourages parents to do two things: one, limit their viewing of media coverage of the tornado. Children in the Oklahoma City area will be exposed to images of these tragic storms in each stage of the recovery process, so turning the television off can help limit anxiety. Also, a parent's own reaction--negative versus positive, or fearful versus hopeful--can greatly influence a child's reaction to an event like this.
2. Think in terms of how your child thinks, not how you think. My preschooler tells me she is sad sometimes, sometimes she is scared, and sometimes she is "weally, weally happy." Shaw suggested that when the questions do start to come your way, try to phrase your answers in the language you've heard your child use before.
3. Prepare yourself to answer the question, "What happens when people die?" Everyone will experience losing someone they love, and some of us experience it early in our childhood. The National Institutes of Health has put together a great resource for dealing with the subject, no matter the circumstances. And sometimes, it's okay to say, "I don't have the answer to that one."
The important thing to remember is that your child looks to you for how to respond to life's most difficult situations. That's certainly a great deal of pressure, but in some ways, it's also reassuring to know that a parent can exercise such a positive influence. And if you can show your child that there is joy and hope in the midst of sadness, then you will be teaching them a valuable lesson they will never outgrow.
Well, the people I know survived the storm, but several family members attended the funeral for one of the tornado's victims--a nine-year-old boy. In addition, people from the area have told me that seeing the pictures on TV is one thing, but viewing the damage up close, in the area where you live your life everyday, requires some adjustment.
As a parent, I worry about the effect of the news coverage on my own young children and have strived to keep my viewing to the morning and evening hours when they are asleep. But storm damage is something most Oklahoma kiddos will witness at one point or another, and being prepared to answer the big questions from our little ones is another part of preparing for severe weather.
First of all, it's probably a safe bet that most kids are going to be curious about what a tornado is. The challenge is achieving comprehension, as many young children don't understand words like "instability" or "air pressure." However, Discovery Kids does a nice job explaining the science in kid-friendly terms here, and I also would recommend the Science Museum of Oklahoma, which has some great displays for hands-on learning.
But for most of us, talking about the science of a tornado is the easy part. It's what a tornado does--the lives lost, people injured, and homes destroyed--that gives us cause for anxiety and sadness. For little ones, the aftermath of a storm may overwhelm, so here's a few things you can do when disaster strikes.
1. Limit viewing of media coverage, and be a good role model. Jackie Shaw, Director of Edmond Family Counseling, has fielded questions from parents regarding best courses of action in the event of a tornado like the one in Moore. She encourages parents to do two things: one, limit their viewing of media coverage of the tornado. Children in the Oklahoma City area will be exposed to images of these tragic storms in each stage of the recovery process, so turning the television off can help limit anxiety. Also, a parent's own reaction--negative versus positive, or fearful versus hopeful--can greatly influence a child's reaction to an event like this.
2. Think in terms of how your child thinks, not how you think. My preschooler tells me she is sad sometimes, sometimes she is scared, and sometimes she is "weally, weally happy." Shaw suggested that when the questions do start to come your way, try to phrase your answers in the language you've heard your child use before.
3. Prepare yourself to answer the question, "What happens when people die?" Everyone will experience losing someone they love, and some of us experience it early in our childhood. The National Institutes of Health has put together a great resource for dealing with the subject, no matter the circumstances. And sometimes, it's okay to say, "I don't have the answer to that one."
The important thing to remember is that your child looks to you for how to respond to life's most difficult situations. That's certainly a great deal of pressure, but in some ways, it's also reassuring to know that a parent can exercise such a positive influence. And if you can show your child that there is joy and hope in the midst of sadness, then you will be teaching them a valuable lesson they will never outgrow.
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