Playdates, sleepovers, and parties, oh my! Cue summer... and some manners!

Cue summer! Time for pool parties and impromptu sleepovers, preschool playdates and summer travel. During this time of year, you're likely to spend more time than ever relaxing with friends and family, which means your kiddos will either be in hand or off enjoying their own socialization.

And that brings me to...manners...and parents' worst pet peeves with visitors.

Groan. Moan. I know, I know. But I bet you're more interested in this subject than you pretend! In fact, the moment I said manners, I bet those eyeballs perked right up, wondering if your pet peeve made the list, and whether your kids measure up.

Well, let's get started.

For the month of June, I'll be tackling three problem areas that parents have identified, where bad behavior turns fun events into nightmares. I've surveyed over twenty parents to get feedback, with the promise of keeping the complaints anonymous (guess those moms and dads have some good manners...or maybe we just don't want to seem snarky!).

Here's what we'll be discussing...

Playdate Peeves...If you're a mom or dad of a young child, you know that generally, if you schedule it, they will come. But here's the thing. Whether you're inviting one or two families over, or an entire moms' group, chances are just one badly behaved kid can make or break the experience. The biggest complaint? Parents who don't keep that parental "eye" out to call out their kid if he or she is misbehaving. For more on this, check back June 12.

Party Frustrations...Surely you have recently attended or thrown a party for a child under ten. Kids in the first decade of life are not known for quiet conduct. And that's understandable. But put a little cake, juice, and the promise of new toys in the mix, and kids can get downright rowdy. On June 19, we'll discuss proper party manners for your kids, whether it's a party you're attending with them or not. Because, you don't want your kid to be the talk of the party. Not until college at least!

Visitor Vexations...And finally, the sleepover. Whether it's at Grandma's or the house of the most popular kid at school, before you ever send those kiddos with suitcases--anywhere--it's best to go over some ground rules and identify with the adult in charge anything that could become an issue at night. And the last thing you want is for your kid to be digging through someone else's refrigerator or master bedroom at 2 a.m. Respecting private space was the thing parents mentioned to me as critical to enjoying anyone's visit.  Stay tuned for more June 26.

So let's get ready to get down and dirty. Because if those kids shape up their behavior and throw out some "please" and "thank you's," there's a good chance people will be talking about you and your children behind your back...in the nicest way possible.

Send in the cavalry! Home organization professionals to the rescue...

The past few weeks, I've been dabbling in home organization. I have taken on this task for two reasons--in the interest of spring cleaning, of course, and also to pass along information that I think can help a home organization amateur (like myself) begin the complicated task of getting control of those closets and cabinets.


But a few weeks into this, and I'll admit I haven't made it too far. That's because life (work, kids, commitment, stuff) gets in the way.


And that's why I asked my team of Edmond home organization professionals why someone like me might finally take a plunge and bring in the big guns (i.e., hire a professional).


Here's what they had to say...


Amber Austin, of Dwelling Place Organizing said, "The most common thing I hear from clients about the benefit of working with a professional organizer is preventing panic halfway through the process. In many projects, there is a point where you drag everything out and 'it gets worse before it gets better.' Having an expert right there, helping you stay focused and moving toward your goals, can save you valuable time and money."

Becky Marple of Bee Neat Professional Organizing added this, "A professional organizer can be of great service to an individual who is dealing with a major life change such as a move, addition of a baby or elderly family member to the home, a death of a loved one, or a transition into an assisted living center. These can be extremely stressful and, often times, debilitating to an individual. Having a professional there to help encourage and guide the client is often just what a person needs."

In addition, Marple mentioned that working on your own makes it too easy to justify holding onto things, and working with a family member can still be too personal. Having an objective person there to help you can often result in the most successful outcome. 

Amy Bolder of Simplicity Professional Organizing agreed, adding, "A seasoned organizer is able to plan and deal with emotions and roadblocks that often arise when clients are faced with tough decisions that they might typically just ignore or give up on if an organizer was not present to walk them through it. Dealing with these emotions and decisions is often easier to do with a professional than with a friend, who might not be able to look past the stuff and why the person is stuck within it. "

Finally, Bolder gave this advice for hiring professional organizers...

• Talk to them and find out how long they have been working with clients.
• Ask what their specialty areas are (and what they do or don't do, such as doing only inside work, etc.).  
• Ask to see some photos of previous projects and always ask for references.  A previous client can shed light on the process and help an individual know if a particular organizer is right for them.  

Sounds like a plan. Now, I only have to decide whether I have the courage to let someone see what a mess I am.

We'll see.

Taking on home safety - Kitchen and bathroom childproofing

This month, I've been focusing on keeping those kids of ours safe. Last week, I gave you the skinny on what to do (and not do) to keep your little ones from falling their way into the emergency room.


But when you've got a curious toddler or preschooler, a few spots in your home become danger zones. Some of the biggest culprits of injury...the kitchen and bathroom.


Well, I had the chance to talk to Stephanie Zerr, owner of Red Bud Baby Planners right here in Edmond. Maybe you don't have any little people on the way, but you may have friends or family with young children, or you may be a grandparent. And while going full-speed-ahead on the babyproofing may not be necessary for a short visit, as a parent or a host, you may want to consider these innocent-seeming items.


The awesomely enticing cabinet. Best to keep these locked with a child-safety lock (much to my mom's annoyance when she visits. "They're made for babies and the older population!" she'll complain). But really, keeping pots and pans locked up ain't a bad idea. But that's not all. Think--really think--about everything you've got in those kitchen and bathroom cabinets. Blenders? Nail polish remover? Cleaning supplies? Yep, I shiver too when thinking about a toddler getting his or her hands on those. And consider whether you really do want to make a play drawer or cabinet in your home, as it may be hard for small ones to understand the difference between "safe" cabinets and "no way" cabinets.


The stove and the oven--bring on the heat! Maybe playing with pots and pans doesn't seem so harmful, but Zerr warns that allowing children to play with them can make it difficult for them to understand why they can't pull one off the stove. On that note, safety companies make some great stove knob covers these days and oven latches. Yes, yes. I know. So frustrating to take an extra step to do anything in the kitchen, but...well, you know the phrase. And how hard is it to open those child locks, really (complaining grandmothers aside)?


Keeping them out of the can. Toilets are filled with water you really don't want your cat and dog drinking. Safe to say you probably want your kiddo to stay out of that water as well (especially since the bowl doubles as a drowning hazard). So, lock it up. You gotta do what you gotta do.


All the rest... Tub faucets--cover them! Plastic bags--put them away! And keep the poison control number posted in an easily accessible area. I know you're busy. I know, because so am I. But an ounce of prevention goes such a long way. These are your kiddos. And in a few years, when those kids are older and wiser (although still accident prone in other ways), you can toss those child locks  out--followed by a "Thank you."

Giving Thanks Part II - Giving to yourself (and your community) by patronizing local business

I don't know if you've driven down Broadway lately, but there's something about living in a town with such a vibrant array of small businesses. Not many cities have a bustling "old town" charm anymore, and Edmond, with all its growth and amenities, offers up the new while still giving residents a taste of the old.

But did you know that where you spend your money has a direct impact on this town? Most cities, like Edmond, depend on sales tax dollars to provide many, if not most, of their services, including public safety (police and fire), business development, and parks and city-wide events, as well as other critical services.

Toni Weinmeister, Associate Director of the Edmond Economic Development Authority, says that shopping in Edmond is a direct act of giving back to your community, because your dollars help fund the city. Frequenting local "mom and pop" stores, as well as franchises located within Edmond, helps not only with funding, but also benefits the local residents who own these businesses. And even shopping online at a business with an Edmond store will result in sales tax dollars going to the city (sorry folks, that does not include Amazon). Places like Target, Walmart, and many others all qualify.

And speaking of "mom and pop" stores, don't be afraid to go and check some of the smaller ones out. Edmond has a wide variety, and while small businesses sometimes have a reputation for having higher prices, that simply is not always the case. For instance, a new local business, Tenz, sells women's clothing and accessories for ten dollars.

Lisa Wheeler, owner of Tenz, says that opening a small, local business can be challenging, especially when competing with national chains, but she loves the sense of community in a town like Edmond. "One of our goals is giving back to the community by offering affordable clothing."

And she's just one of many store owners or managers who love serving the Edmond community. Ben Hoza, a manager at The Meat House, says, "We love the Edmond community and supporting the many events that make this area wonderful." The business, which offers a variety of fresh food options as well as catering, celebrates it second anniversary this month.

So, when you're getting ready to spend those dollars this holiday season, pause for a moment to consider where you want your dollars to go. Because by giving a local business your business, you might just be able to say "Thanks" in the best possible way.

Giving Thanks Part I - This Thanksgiving, give thanks for more than a meal

Every year at my house, we have a huge debate over the Thanksgiving meal. I swear the argument has brought my entire extended family to the brink of violence. The debate is epic.

It comes down to this...mash potatoes: chunky or creamy?

But tater-disagreement aside, contemplating an afternoon of feasting with either my family or my husband's brings a pleasant taste to my mouth, and my only anxiety is over the extra calories that will jumpstart the Christmas eating season.

However, over the past year, I've spoken with many families about their traditions, and I grew very aware that some people do much more than inhale a turkey dinner on this day of gratitude expression. In fact, I was awed by the ways people chose to give back to their families and communities, and I figured I'd better pass some of these ideas along.

Give thanks for your blessings by helping others...

On Thanksgiving day, many of us can't even begin to conquer all the items that will grace our table. However, overabundance isn't the norm for every Oklahoman. Places like The City Rescue Mission serve meals to the homeless. Stacy Valentine, who supervises community relations at The City Rescue Mission,  says that people can help by adopting a table (decorating a table, bringing a dessert, and eating lunch with the clients) or contributing to their food resource center.

Give thanks for your country by adopting a soldier...

Several organizations offer opportunities for us to send a real thank you to our service men and women. Both Adopt A US Soldier and Letters to Soldiers allow you to express gratitude through letters and/or care packages, and the support never goes unappreciated. Wendy Lynch, Chief Liaison Officer for Adopt A US Soldier sums it up perfectly: "We need to let them know that we support them, that they are cared for, and not forgotten. This is a small thing to do for these brave men and women who are making some of the greatest sacrifices in life."

Give thanks for your health by exercising with friends and family...

One of the simplest ways to say "thank you" to a healthy body is to use it. Edmond and Oklahoma City both offer a way to celebrate healthy living on Thanksgiving, not to mention getting a jumpstart on those pesky pumpkin-pie calories. The Edmond Turkey Trot will take place in downtown Edmond (and will benefit Turning Point Ministries), and the Oklahoma City Turkey Trot at Lake Hefner (benefiting Eagle Ridge Institute). If an early morning race is out of reach for you and family members, take time to for a walk or jog, or even a flag football game that says, "Hey, I'm grateful for what I've got."

Give thank for your family by telling them...

And if you find yourself up to your elbows cooking sweet potato casserole and pecan pie, even a simple pack of note cards, with a message quickly scrawled to each guest, will help you and your family members remember that life is a gift, every day is a blessing, and each moment should give us a reason to say, "Thanks."

Don't be Martha, just be awesome -Part IV: Costume MacGyver to the rescue

So, you have an hour until trick or treating time, and all of a sudden, your "too cool for school" kiddo decides he/she needs a costume. You're not the most craftsy mom, and needles generally end up in your finger or on the floor, not to be found until you're stalking around in bare feet some dark morning. What to do?

Enter Halloween costume MacGyver (you know, the show from the 80s/90s; ugh, I hate it when I date myself!).

Anyway, super mom that you are, you want your kiddo to leave the house in more than a sheet-turned-ghost, especially since the only one you're willing to cut up has pink daisies on it. Never fear, because other options do exist.

First step? Take a look around your own house. You have some boxes? Make a robot. Toilet paper? Put a mummy on tap. Have black pants and shirt? Tape some paper bones to them and you've got a skeleton. Scarf, striped shirt, and boots? Your a pirate, matey! Argh!

But there's more, my friends. Much, much more. Take a look below, and feast your eyes on some truly unique ten-minute concepts. (Insert evil laugh here...)

Bring Paul Bunyan back to life...
Check out the lumberjack idea from Etsy.com, which is easy and cool enough for even your most peer-pressured kiddo. All you need is a beanie, flannel shirt, boots, and, um, well, maybe a plastic ax. Or you could use a toilet paper roll attached to a stick. This is about improvising, folks. As for the beard, washable marker really isn't advisable, but that's totally up to you. Then again, how about a little chocolate syrup?

Wahoo! Kick butt by being one of the most popular video game characters...
Parentmap had some great Halloween costume ideas, but this Mario one is so gosh darn easy, it makes me feel like I could punch through some brick walls! A pair of overalls, red shirt, and a slightly altered red hat and buttons is just the ticket.

Take trick or treating to a whole new (big) level...as Jelly Bellies...  
I actually had a friend dress as this idea from the Childcare Network (number eight) a few years ago at a Halloween party. All you need is a somewhat see-through plastic bag and some balloons (okay, you may have to run to the store for this one.) And if you don't have the time (or patience) to blow up a cajillion balloons, what about using those balls from the ball pit (I have, like, a million)? This costume is sure to be a hit, but just remember one thing: sitting is difficult...

Because everybody likes tea, and it's easy to make...
And if you just happen to have a box of Lipton Tea (or something of that nature) and a white sheet lying around, this tea bag idea from ClevelandWomen.com (third one down) is always an easy one. However, I'm not sure it will be a big sell for kids, although parents are sure to get it right away... and maybe find themselves thirsty...

And when you just want to bring on the awesome...
Say it with me: "Last but not least..." We've got ourselves a creative genius winner from babble.com! Put your kiddo in rain gear and attach stuffed dogs and kitties to the umbrella! Voila!  It's "raining cats and dogs." And hey, it's okay if you don't tell someone you got the idea from the Internet. I won't say anything. But this clever little ensemble might just earn you the "mom who has it going on" title for your neighborhood.

Don't be Martha, just be awesome - Part III: Decorating Martha's way, or the easier way

I love my house. I really do. It's everything I dreamed about when I was living in a box--ahem, condo--in the Baltimore area just three years ago. And in the past, I liked the decorating aspect of making a house a home.

But I had kids when I got here...and table tops had to be clear (to be filled with Fischer Price Little People), plants and pictures had to be set up high or locked away, and drapes pretty much went the way of the dodo.

But in the autumn, I can't help but get giddy when I walk down the aisles of any craft store, and even though "crafting" just isn't in my DNA, I think how nice it would be to walk into my own house and feel like fall had arrived.

Enter my quest for the month of October--how to be like Martha, without being like Martha. Taking a note from the show Design on a Dime, in which they show you that rooms don't have to be expensive to be beautiful, I will show you my version, called Design with No Time, in which I take Martha's ideas and hunt down ideas that look just as good, but are easier to create.

Let's begin:


Autumn Flowers
Okay, so you can take on Martha's gallery of fall flower arrangements, which includes the ever so lovely (and complex) Autumn Palette, (striped dahlias, Chinese lanterns, and dill flower heads), OR, you can check out the pretty and petite, much less stressed out fall flower arrangement on Our Sweet Life. Both beautiful, but one will leave you with more hair...



Our Sweet Life

Candles
The idea of candlemaking always makes me think I should don some eighteenth century dress and a bonnet. Not going to happen. But I would like to at least contemplate the idea of making my candles look awesome. Martha Stewart's piece on candle molds claims, "You can use any whimsical three-dimensional object found around the house to create a rubber candle mold." Then the site used the word "finial" and I started to drift. So I found this much simpler, maybe-not-as-dazzling-but-cool, autumn design at Ideas for Home Decorating, no bonnet necessary.

Ideas for Home Decorating

Autumn Wreath
And finally, who doesn't love to drive up to a house with a swoon-worthy harvest display on their front porch. Aside from purchasing the requisite scarecrow and pumpkins from your local craft superstore, usually a door wreath of some sort completes the effect. Martha's "Autumnal Wreath" is lovely, of course. But I'm wary of wreath-making, so I think I'll try the kid's version found at The Frugal Homemaker.



The Frugal Homemaker

I just need to find some leaves...

Play by the rules and don't sing the school bus blues

School is officially back! And all the parents say, "Let's get this party started." Take the kids to the curb, put them on the big yellow bus, and blow a kiss, because it's learning time!

Now, I have little, little ones, so my experience with the school bus consists of, well, nothing, unless you count the times I try to race it around the neighborhood on my morning runs (spoiler alert: I always lose). However, in the interest of fulfilling the duties of a proper mommy blogger and because I've seen some nasty footage of bus behavior on television (yikes!), I decided to take on the issue of how to deal with certain school bus situations, which, I hope, can result in a more positive experience for everyone.

Fortunately, Steve Nola from Deer Creek Public Schools, gave me some sound advice for both newbies and bus-riding veterans.

If you're new...

• Map it. Make sure your child knows where the bus stop is and how to get home from there. A practice walk is never a bad thing (and burns calories--bonus!).
• Go over the rules. Sit down with your child and talk about appropriate behavior. You know the Ben Franklin saying: "An ounce of prevention..."
• There are no stupid questions. Kids should know that they are always welcome to ask the driver any question.
• Hi! My name is... "New kids might want to introduce themselves to the driver," Nola says, "as that makes it a little less uncomfortable being in the strange cheese box." (By the way, LOVE that name for the bus. My preschooler is already using it exclusively.)

And for everyone...

• If you can't do it in your parents car...it's probably a no no on the bus too. This includes fighting, wrestling, swearing, touching another student, screaming, and inappropriate conversation. "Ninety-nine percent of the bus drivers will tell you that any behavior that takes the eyes of the driver off the road, longer than one to two seconds, is unacceptable," Nola adds.
• If you're child is having an issue with another student...don't hesitate to speak to the driver. They can address the issue and take it further, through the appropriate channels, if need be.
• If you're having an issue with the driver or transportation in general...take it to the head of transportation. It's best to avoid the middle man and communicate directly to someone who can handle the situation. If that doesn't solve the problem, someone in charge of communicating with parents can address it sooner than the superintendent, so check out your school system's staff to find who might be your best advocate.

At the end of the day, parents who encourage their kids to behave with respect to their bus driver and kindness to the other bus riders are doing their kids a big favor. Because we all know that school isn't just about learning book knowledge. It's about teaching your child how to live life in an effective, positive, successful way.

What a chore! Getting things done around the house - Mary Poppins style

"With every job that must be done there is an element of fun."

Well, Mary Poppins, you try telling that to my kiddos, who, try as they might, have not been able to get their beds to make themselves at the snap of a finger. I too have tried that particular trick on the dishes and laundry and can safely say that no matter how big my smile, the result of snapping fingers is a big, fat nothing.

Yet, I do believe that getting stuff done around the house can be fun. For myself, I've implemented a few techniques that have had relatively positive results for me. This includes playing boogie-worthy music in the kitchen (downside being that the boogying becomes a distraction), timing myself (downside being my frustration when I realize spaghetti sauce has emblazoned itself on the microwave, and I won't be beating that timer any time soon), and talking to my mom/sister/friends on the phone (downside being that my Bluetooth has disappeared into the bowels of my mini van, and the cell phone doesn't fare so well after being dropped in the toilet).

But I have kids! Yes! Free labor (do not tell DHS I said so). Of course, two kids under the age of four do not good helpers make. I mean, yes, they like to help, but I'm going to be honest and tell you they're not so good at it. The only thing my preschooler wants to Windex is my toddler, so I've decided to keep their chores strictly to picking up. But that didn't keep me from hunting down ways to get kids interested--and even excited--about lending a helping hand.

1. Chart it. Visit Goal For It, where you can design a cute, free chore chart. Not sure how to get the kids going on it? Erin Griffith, Edmond mom of four kiddos, gave me the following helpful advice:
"Our oldest three kids have "Responsibility & Commitment" charts. THEY choose three age appropriate, task oriented chores (i.e., read book, make bed, empty dishwasher, feed dogs, brush teeth, practice instrument, etc.) and WE choose two character oriented (shared toys, serve others, positive attitude, be helpful, etc.). At the end of the day, we place magnets according to performance. These charts never have to be perfect, but rather, we are trying to instill a strong work ethic and sense of family responsibility. They also serve as a good tool in earning their weekly activities."

2. Ready, set, go! My timer idea is not original, as I found out while searching online and conversing with Griffith,  the super mom of four. Kids love to compete, especially when prizes are involved. You don't have to pit them against each other; just give your kids a goal with a prize in mind. And prizes don't have to be big deals either. Ice cream, popsicles, or "we get to go outside and play family basketball when this is done" is all that's required.

3. Do it together, and don't forget to take a break. Nothing says family like accomplishing things together while having a fun time. So turn up the music or talk while you do dishes, fold laundry, or clean windows. And don't overdo it! From my own experience growing up, keeping up with chores throughout the week felt so much better (and doable) than a four-hour cleaning extravaganza on Saturday morning. Remind those kids if you can get the work done during the week, they will have more free time available for the weekend. This is a lesson that will stick with them for years to come.

Want more ideas? Check out a great ehow.com article here.

Getting kids ready to go back to school – From the mouths of your friendly neighborhood teachers

Over the summer, many of us parents have been absorbed in chauffeuring the kids to summer camps, swimming lessons, and the snow cone stand down the street with the awesome macaroon flavor. Who has time to think ahead?

But already, signs in Target and Walmart scream “BACK TO SCHOOL SUPPLIES,” and suddenly, we look at our kids, standing in chewed-up flip flops and chocolate ice cream-stained T-shirts, and realize we’d better start thinking about bus schedules and number 2 pencils.

Thankfully, we have some great teachers in the area to give you a head start on firing those kids up for another year. I've included their full interviews (just click on the name) to a series of questions that should give you some answers for making the first day awesome. My expert panel included the following:

Jamie Minter, fifth grade teacher at John Ross Elementary
Walaya Lupp, a high school reading specialist in the Oklahoma City area
Annetta Cain, second grade teacher at Spring Creek Elementary 
Kathleen Schwiebert, sixth grade reading teacher at Deer Creek Intermediate School

Here are the highlights!

How can parents help their kids prepare for going back to school?

Jamie: I don't think you can just pick a day and say, "Hey it's time to get back in the swing of things.” But instead, just keep a flow of creative learning activities throughout the summer months. My number one piece of advice is to READ.  Parents and children both need to pick out a good book for the summer!

Walaya: Children who have a lot of different experiences, such as museums, parks, library visits, or even just a trip through the woods, build what's called schema. This better enables them to connect with what they are learning in school.

Annette:  I sign my four kids up with the Edmond Library to take part in their summer reading program.  It provides little incentives along the way to read, and the children have a chance at winning some pretty big prizes at the end of the summer if their names are drawn.

Kathleen: Start regulating bedtimes and wake up times about a week or more before school starts.  Here in Deer Creek, the Intermediate School starts classes at 7:30 a.m., so if a child has been going to bed and getting up whenever he or she feels like it, that 6 a.m. wake-up time is going to be a shock!

How can parents get kids excited about going back to school?

Jamie: Getting the kids excited comes from the parents being positive and excited as well. Back to school shopping for supplies and clothes should be fun and not stressful.

Walaya: Ask them what they liked about what the older kids were doing the year before, and take your child to any activities the school is having beforehand.

Annette: Communicating in a positive way with your children is critical. Talk about the new and exciting things this school year will bring. Contact some friends from school and try to get together before school starts. 

Kathleen: If parents are moaning about the "end of summer,” kids will jump right in and express that same feeling.  I am a big believer about talking about hopes and dreams and talking about how to achieve those things.

And finally, what do you look forward to most in a new school year?

Jamie: What I look forward to the most is meeting my new students. I am blessed each year to be given twenty-plus students, and it's almost like opening a present. You never know what's inside, and you can't wait to find out.

Walaya: I always look forward to meeting new students and building new relationships with my kids.  I'm a reading specialist, so my love is about growing new readers and showing kids how to pick out books that they like.

Annette: I can't wait to meet my students! Each child in my class is like a puzzle to me, and I love trying to figure them out!

Kathleen: At the end of every school year, when my students leave my classroom, I am quite sure I will never love another group of kids as I have loved them.  Then, when August rolls around, I meet a whole new group of kids, and in a few days, I am learning names and personalities and I start to think - I like these kids, and a whole new journey begins!