Thursday, June 19, 2014

From the mouths of parents...party frustrations

Most of us have recently attended or thrown a party for a child under ten. And I'm certain most of us realize that kids in the first decade of life are not known for quiet conduct. And that's understandable. We get that. It's what makes a kid a kid.

But then, put a little cake, juice, and the promise of new toys in the mix, and kids can get downright rowdy. I have been assaulted with foam swords, socked in the head with a bean bag, and doused with fruit juice, all in the name of celebrating someone's birthday.

Yes, whether you're hosting or a guest, those birthday parties are often just something to survive.

Then again, there's no reason not to put the breaks on bad behavior or emphasize good party manners. And maybe, just maybe, your kids will learn how to have fun while keeping their head.

Good manners should start before you decorate. One of the rules I found from a great article on PBS Parents discusses showing good party behavior from the start, and this includes protecting other kids' feelings while handing out invitations. You don't have to invite everyone (you shouldn't, really, as an out-of-control party isn't fun for anyone), but don't hand out invitations at school. Also remind your child not to discuss the party there either. And if your child happens to dole out an impulse invitation, follow through. Promises made should be promises kept.

Don't let you kid be "that guy." Whether you are attending the party with your child or not, emphasizing good manners is imperative to helping your child stay on the "nice" list. Parents who answered my non-scientific survey about party manners responded that they were irritated by kids who tried to eat the cake early, open the birthday child's presents, or invade spaces that were not designated for the guests. Also, remember to RSVP and check with the party host before bringing a sibling, because these were other factors that greatly annoyed party givers. And finally, if it is the type of party where you drop your kid off, go inside to meet the parents and give them your cell phone number. This is not only polite, it is a safety measure as well.

Be a gracious host. I cannot tell you how many times I've been to a baby or bridal shower where the person opening the gift failed to comment on my card or gift, quickly moving through the gifts as if opening them were a race. After spending time (usually with two whiny preschoolers in tow) to pick out something special, I would be so grateful for a brief comment about whether the person liked (hopefully!) the gift or not. So, teach your children to be gracious. If they are too little to express gratitude, then it is up to you to do it for each gift opened. But a four or five-year-old, with a little on-the-spot prompting, should be able to do it, and older children can probably remember from instructions received from you before the party. Then again, maybe you will decide to skip gift opening all together. In this case, a personally written thank you note is especially important. A note should be sent regardless, but mentioning each particular gift is more critical if guests didn't get the opportunity to see your child appreciate their contribution. Overkill? Never. If God loves a cheerful giver, parents love a cheerful receiver!

All right, I've preached enough. Time to follow my own advice and whip those young ones into shape. Because, as I've mentioned already this month, manners are important--both in the moment and for the future success of your child!


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