Most of us have recently attended or thrown a party for a child under ten. And I'm certain most of us realize that kids in the first decade of life are not known for quiet conduct. And that's understandable. We get that. It's what makes a kid a kid.
But then, put a little cake, juice, and the promise of new toys in the mix, and kids can get downright rowdy. I have been assaulted with foam swords, socked in the head with a bean bag, and doused with fruit juice, all in the name of celebrating someone's birthday.
Yes, whether you're hosting or a guest, those birthday parties are often just something to survive.
Then again, there's no reason not to put the breaks on bad behavior or emphasize good party manners. And maybe, just maybe, your kids will learn how to have fun while keeping their head.
Good manners should start before you decorate. One of the rules I found from a great article on PBS Parents discusses showing good party behavior from the start, and this includes protecting other kids' feelings while handing out invitations. You don't have to invite everyone (you shouldn't, really, as an out-of-control party isn't fun for anyone), but don't hand out invitations at school. Also remind your child not to discuss the party there either. And if your child happens to dole out an impulse invitation, follow through. Promises made should be promises kept.
Don't let you kid be "that guy." Whether you are attending the party with your child or not, emphasizing good manners is imperative to helping your child stay on the "nice" list. Parents who answered my non-scientific survey about party manners responded that they were irritated by kids who tried to eat the cake early, open the birthday child's presents, or invade spaces that were not designated for the guests. Also, remember to RSVP and check with the party host before bringing a sibling, because these were other factors that greatly annoyed party givers. And finally, if it is the type of party where you drop your kid off, go inside to meet the parents and give them your cell phone number. This is not only polite, it is a safety measure as well.
Be a gracious host. I cannot tell you how many times I've been to a baby or bridal shower where the person opening the gift failed to comment on my card or gift, quickly moving through the gifts as if opening them were a race. After spending time (usually with two whiny preschoolers in tow) to pick out something special, I would be so grateful for a brief comment about whether the person liked (hopefully!) the gift or not. So, teach your children to be gracious. If they are too little to express gratitude, then it is up to you to do it for each gift opened. But a four or five-year-old, with a little on-the-spot prompting, should be able to do it, and older children can probably remember from instructions received from you before the party. Then again, maybe you will decide to skip gift opening all together. In this case, a personally written thank you note is especially important. A note should be sent regardless, but mentioning each particular gift is more critical if guests didn't get the opportunity to see your child appreciate their contribution. Overkill? Never. If God loves a cheerful giver, parents love a cheerful receiver!
All right, I've preached enough. Time to follow my own advice and whip those young ones into shape. Because, as I've mentioned already this month, manners are important--both in the moment and for the future success of your child!
Showing posts with label dads. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dads. Show all posts
Thursday, June 19, 2014
Thursday, June 12, 2014
From the mouths of parents...playdate peeves
This month I'm taking on the high interest/somewhat emotional topic of kids behaving badly at other people's homes. I surveyed over twenty parents concerning playdate, birthday party, and sleepover behavior and really wasn't all that surprised by what got tempers ticking!
Here's the list of the top four pet peeves at playdates...
1. Parents ignoring bad behavior. Hosting parents were frustrated not so much by the bad behavior itself (hey, every kid is going to have a nuclear meltdown at some point!) as much as they were irritated by a parent overlooking a child's bad behavior. And this goes for all ages of children. One mom said her pet peeve is when a mom "lets her child, who is younger than my child, just take a toy from mine because her child is younger, without correcting the child to share and ask for a turn." Moral of the story? It's never too early to teach proper behavior, or to call your child out if he or she isn't using good manners.
2. Disrespecting property. Parents mentioned that disrespecting the host family's property (or even pets) was a big problem. One mom wrote on her survey, "My biggest pet peeve is having a child over that is a little more 'wild' than others, and the parent doesn't pay attention to what that child is doing or how that child is treating other children. Then I am stuck feeling like I have to watch the child the entire time instead of socializing with the other parents." And that's not fun for anyone.
3. Improper manners. Calling a mom only by her first name. Not asking permission to enter closed-off rooms. Forgetting to say "please" or "thank you." These were all things that did not impress parents. Simple manners make big impressions, so don't overlook teaching your children how to show the respect that other adults (and kids) deserve.
4. Neglecting to help pick up. "It's easy to let your kids play up until the last minute when you need to leave and there is no time for cleaning up, but people will be much more willing to host again if their house isn't in shambles when the party leaves!" one mom claimed. And she wasn't alone. Most parents agreed that guests who helped picked up would be more welcome to come over again.
So, in an effort to help you (and me) avoid becoming persona non grata at playdates, I located a very helpful article on Carolina Parent that dealt with common playdate behavior problems. The best part of the article is its list of books that can help prepare a child for a playdate, as well as their list of the top social skills for those ages 2 through 5. These include the following:
- Introductions
- Sharing
- Cleaning up
- Saying "Please" and "Thank you"
I quickly drew a line from these social skills to the frustrations mentioned by the parents in my survey.The article also urged parents to help kids practice these manners at home. See more here.
At the end of the day, I think it's important to remember two things. First of all, manners are not only for the benefit of the person you visit, but manners are also something your child will need to lead a successful life. Second, our children's manners are an extension of our own consideration for other people, so if you don't care how your child treats other people or their property, it unfortunately shows the same carelessness in you.
And a little goes a long way. Parents mentioned time and again that it was just a single good behavior that shaped their impression of a child. Good manners leaves a good feeling, and that leads to a gathering where everyone wins!
Here's the list of the top four pet peeves at playdates...
1. Parents ignoring bad behavior. Hosting parents were frustrated not so much by the bad behavior itself (hey, every kid is going to have a nuclear meltdown at some point!) as much as they were irritated by a parent overlooking a child's bad behavior. And this goes for all ages of children. One mom said her pet peeve is when a mom "lets her child, who is younger than my child, just take a toy from mine because her child is younger, without correcting the child to share and ask for a turn." Moral of the story? It's never too early to teach proper behavior, or to call your child out if he or she isn't using good manners.
2. Disrespecting property. Parents mentioned that disrespecting the host family's property (or even pets) was a big problem. One mom wrote on her survey, "My biggest pet peeve is having a child over that is a little more 'wild' than others, and the parent doesn't pay attention to what that child is doing or how that child is treating other children. Then I am stuck feeling like I have to watch the child the entire time instead of socializing with the other parents." And that's not fun for anyone.
3. Improper manners. Calling a mom only by her first name. Not asking permission to enter closed-off rooms. Forgetting to say "please" or "thank you." These were all things that did not impress parents. Simple manners make big impressions, so don't overlook teaching your children how to show the respect that other adults (and kids) deserve.
4. Neglecting to help pick up. "It's easy to let your kids play up until the last minute when you need to leave and there is no time for cleaning up, but people will be much more willing to host again if their house isn't in shambles when the party leaves!" one mom claimed. And she wasn't alone. Most parents agreed that guests who helped picked up would be more welcome to come over again.
So, in an effort to help you (and me) avoid becoming persona non grata at playdates, I located a very helpful article on Carolina Parent that dealt with common playdate behavior problems. The best part of the article is its list of books that can help prepare a child for a playdate, as well as their list of the top social skills for those ages 2 through 5. These include the following:
- Introductions
- Sharing
- Cleaning up
- Saying "Please" and "Thank you"
I quickly drew a line from these social skills to the frustrations mentioned by the parents in my survey.The article also urged parents to help kids practice these manners at home. See more here.
At the end of the day, I think it's important to remember two things. First of all, manners are not only for the benefit of the person you visit, but manners are also something your child will need to lead a successful life. Second, our children's manners are an extension of our own consideration for other people, so if you don't care how your child treats other people or their property, it unfortunately shows the same carelessness in you.
And a little goes a long way. Parents mentioned time and again that it was just a single good behavior that shaped their impression of a child. Good manners leaves a good feeling, and that leads to a gathering where everyone wins!
Thursday, February 27, 2014
The price of pain - A parent's guide to preventing sports' injury
Once upon a time, I was a figure skater. But these days, the only triple Salchow I perform is getting three kinds of milk for three different kids (well, two kids and a husband). And I miss spending day after day on the ice--I really do! But there's something I don't' miss about it.
A persnickety ankle.
Now, every once in a while, when I've gone on a particularly long run, that ankle will ache, but it's not the same as the chronic injury that plagued most of my skating career. And when I think back to all the skating, training, and eventually coaching that I used to do in one week, I sometimes wonder...
Was I overdoing it...just a bit?
That's a tough question to answer in a society that believes practices makes perfect, because wouldn't that mean that more practice makes more perfect? We overdo, overbuy, overstep, overeat, and maybe, just maybe, push ourselves (and eventually, perhaps our kiddos) a little too hard.
"What?" you ask. "Do you expect me to tell my kids to lie around on the couch so they never get hurt?"
Don't be silly. Sports are awesome. Sports will develop coordination, strength, teamwork, flexibility, (deep breath), perseverance, confidence, etc., etc., etc.
And working hard is a must. Believe me, five-thousand hip bruises later, I know what it takes to master something, to become stronger. But when it comes to your child, you are the best person to keep tabs on his or her well-being. Sports professionals are fantastic, and great for getting advice, but you are the person who knows your child best.
Keeping that in mind, here are two types of injuries to consider and some effective ways for preventing and handling them.
Accidental (or acute) injury - The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) offers three steps for preventing this type of injury: 1) Gear up, 2) Use the right stuff, and 3) Pay attention to temperature. This means that it's your responsibility to know what type of safety gear is needed, to ensure gear is up-to-date (not broken or the wrong size), and to do things like keeping kids bundled up in the cold and hydrated no matter the temperature. Yes, that's a hefty list, but it may save you a trip to the emergency room.
And keep an eye on your child's energy level, says Yolanda Thomas, Director of the Lil' Kickers program at SoccerCity in Oklahoma City. "Many injuries are caused by fatigue," she warns.
Chronic injury - The other type of injury, the one I was whining about, is chronic. Basically, these type of injuries are often caused by overuse. On its list of preventing sports injury, the CDC does say "practice makes perfect," and despite my concerns with the phrase, they explain it this way: "Have children practice proper form – this can prevent injuries during baseball, softball, and many other activities. Also, be sure to safely and slowly increase activities to improve physical fitness; being in good condition can protect kids from injury."
Jackie Brenner, Skating Director at Arctic Edge Ice Arena in Edmond, says that professionals can help you understand the risk of chronic injury. In skating, making sure muscles are balanced, as well as stretching out the other direction (especially in a somewhat one-sided sport like figure skating), is critical to the body's health.
And finally, don't be afraid for your kid to take a small break or even try something different for a little while. Any type of sport will lead to better conditioning for all athletic activities, and at the end of the day, teaching a child the importance and satisfaction of a lifetime of physical activity is more important than a few more trophies on the shelf.
A persnickety ankle.
Now, every once in a while, when I've gone on a particularly long run, that ankle will ache, but it's not the same as the chronic injury that plagued most of my skating career. And when I think back to all the skating, training, and eventually coaching that I used to do in one week, I sometimes wonder...
Was I overdoing it...just a bit?
That's a tough question to answer in a society that believes practices makes perfect, because wouldn't that mean that more practice makes more perfect? We overdo, overbuy, overstep, overeat, and maybe, just maybe, push ourselves (and eventually, perhaps our kiddos) a little too hard.
"What?" you ask. "Do you expect me to tell my kids to lie around on the couch so they never get hurt?"
Don't be silly. Sports are awesome. Sports will develop coordination, strength, teamwork, flexibility, (deep breath), perseverance, confidence, etc., etc., etc.
And working hard is a must. Believe me, five-thousand hip bruises later, I know what it takes to master something, to become stronger. But when it comes to your child, you are the best person to keep tabs on his or her well-being. Sports professionals are fantastic, and great for getting advice, but you are the person who knows your child best.
Keeping that in mind, here are two types of injuries to consider and some effective ways for preventing and handling them.
Accidental (or acute) injury - The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) offers three steps for preventing this type of injury: 1) Gear up, 2) Use the right stuff, and 3) Pay attention to temperature. This means that it's your responsibility to know what type of safety gear is needed, to ensure gear is up-to-date (not broken or the wrong size), and to do things like keeping kids bundled up in the cold and hydrated no matter the temperature. Yes, that's a hefty list, but it may save you a trip to the emergency room.
And keep an eye on your child's energy level, says Yolanda Thomas, Director of the Lil' Kickers program at SoccerCity in Oklahoma City. "Many injuries are caused by fatigue," she warns.
Chronic injury - The other type of injury, the one I was whining about, is chronic. Basically, these type of injuries are often caused by overuse. On its list of preventing sports injury, the CDC does say "practice makes perfect," and despite my concerns with the phrase, they explain it this way: "Have children practice proper form – this can prevent injuries during baseball, softball, and many other activities. Also, be sure to safely and slowly increase activities to improve physical fitness; being in good condition can protect kids from injury."
Jackie Brenner, Skating Director at Arctic Edge Ice Arena in Edmond, says that professionals can help you understand the risk of chronic injury. In skating, making sure muscles are balanced, as well as stretching out the other direction (especially in a somewhat one-sided sport like figure skating), is critical to the body's health.
And finally, don't be afraid for your kid to take a small break or even try something different for a little while. Any type of sport will lead to better conditioning for all athletic activities, and at the end of the day, teaching a child the importance and satisfaction of a lifetime of physical activity is more important than a few more trophies on the shelf.
Thursday, February 13, 2014
Solving the energy crisis - Finding the right sport for your munchkin!
Have you ever witnessed a toddler trying to complete a forward somersault? Or a cartwheel? Have you ever watched a herd of little people chase a soccer ball, or seen a kid smack a plastic bat into a baseball tee?
Oh yeah, it's pretty funny.
These days we have the opportunity to see kids try their hands at sports earlier than ever, with many programs opening up to children as early as 18 months of age. For a parent who's still trying to get rid of bottles, pacifiers, and the high chair, the thought of starting a child in sports may be the last thing on your mind. However, with winter keeping those hyper kids cooped up, you may have also decided it's time for an energy outlet.
In the spirit of the Winter Olympics, and our society's crazy obsession with all things "athlete," I decided to lean on some local experts to discover which sports are suitable for the youngest of children, and why a parent might be persuaded to pay the cost of getting junior in a program that just organizes activities a kid does already. What I found is that Edmond has a lot to offer on the small fry scale, and that parents who start their children early in sports have nothing to be ashamed of.
Gymnastics. If your looking for a strong foundation of flexibility, coordination, and strength, gymnastics is a great start. Enter Edmond's Oklahoma Gold Gymnastics, owned by Steve Hoehner. Their toddler gym looks so fun, I'd like to play in it. "We help kids learn the fundamentals without them knowing it," said Hoehner, who added that sports programs for kids 5 and under should focus on having fun while learning. He said he designed a curriculum at Oklahoma Gold for kids 18 months to 5 years of age that emphasizes developing motor skills while having a great time.
Ice Skating. Another sport that develops flexibility and coordination, as well as muscles that support bilateral motion, is ice skating (popular now for obvious reasons--you know, the Olympics and all!). Although kids generally start this a little later (ages 3 to 4), Jackie Brenner, Director of Figure Skating at Arctic Edge in Edmond, says that the earlier kids start, the more comfortable they are and the easier it is, as their center of gravity is lower. She also emphasized that programs for young ages should build foundations while a child is having fun (by the way, I heard that word--fun--a lot).
Soccer. Another sport that emphasizes early coordination is soccer. In addition, the sport also concentrates on learning teamwork, which helps with social skills, says Yolanda Thomas, Lil Kickers Program Director at SoccerCity, an indoor facility in northwest Oklahoma City. "We start children in the program as early as 18 months, and focus quite a bit on balance and coordination, all in a fun-filled environment." Thomas adds that in the parent-and-me classes (for children 18 months to 3 years), parents will not only expend energy (like their kiddos), but will also find that they get to enjoy playing with their children as well.
T-Ball/Basketball/Flag football. Finally, kids can benefit from sports such at T-ball from age 3, basketball from age 4, and flag football from age 5 at the Edmond's YMCA. These types of sports help children develop relationships with other kids as well as a healthy understanding of competition as they continue through the program. Again, it's all about letting kids have fun while they discover these sports, says Chris Berry, Associate Executive at the Edmond YMCA.
And of course, swimming. According to Infant Swimming Resource, the best way to keep children safe from drowning is training them to handle themselves in the water. Several facilities, including the YMCA and The Key Health Institute of Edmond, offer swimming lessons, and even if a child never continues with the sport, he or she will have a lifetime of confidence and safety with the knowledge of swimming. And it is an activity people can do their whole lives.
I'm sure there are more sports out there for little ones, but the programs I did find and the people I talked to who run them certainly convinced me that Edmond has plenty to offer in the way of positive early athletic programs. So don't be counting any gold medals or college scholarships yet, but do get those kiddies active. Because that's a habit they can keep for a lifetime.
Oh yeah, it's pretty funny.
These days we have the opportunity to see kids try their hands at sports earlier than ever, with many programs opening up to children as early as 18 months of age. For a parent who's still trying to get rid of bottles, pacifiers, and the high chair, the thought of starting a child in sports may be the last thing on your mind. However, with winter keeping those hyper kids cooped up, you may have also decided it's time for an energy outlet.
In the spirit of the Winter Olympics, and our society's crazy obsession with all things "athlete," I decided to lean on some local experts to discover which sports are suitable for the youngest of children, and why a parent might be persuaded to pay the cost of getting junior in a program that just organizes activities a kid does already. What I found is that Edmond has a lot to offer on the small fry scale, and that parents who start their children early in sports have nothing to be ashamed of.
Gymnastics. If your looking for a strong foundation of flexibility, coordination, and strength, gymnastics is a great start. Enter Edmond's Oklahoma Gold Gymnastics, owned by Steve Hoehner. Their toddler gym looks so fun, I'd like to play in it. "We help kids learn the fundamentals without them knowing it," said Hoehner, who added that sports programs for kids 5 and under should focus on having fun while learning. He said he designed a curriculum at Oklahoma Gold for kids 18 months to 5 years of age that emphasizes developing motor skills while having a great time.
Ice Skating. Another sport that develops flexibility and coordination, as well as muscles that support bilateral motion, is ice skating (popular now for obvious reasons--you know, the Olympics and all!). Although kids generally start this a little later (ages 3 to 4), Jackie Brenner, Director of Figure Skating at Arctic Edge in Edmond, says that the earlier kids start, the more comfortable they are and the easier it is, as their center of gravity is lower. She also emphasized that programs for young ages should build foundations while a child is having fun (by the way, I heard that word--fun--a lot).
Soccer. Another sport that emphasizes early coordination is soccer. In addition, the sport also concentrates on learning teamwork, which helps with social skills, says Yolanda Thomas, Lil Kickers Program Director at SoccerCity, an indoor facility in northwest Oklahoma City. "We start children in the program as early as 18 months, and focus quite a bit on balance and coordination, all in a fun-filled environment." Thomas adds that in the parent-and-me classes (for children 18 months to 3 years), parents will not only expend energy (like their kiddos), but will also find that they get to enjoy playing with their children as well.
T-Ball/Basketball/Flag football. Finally, kids can benefit from sports such at T-ball from age 3, basketball from age 4, and flag football from age 5 at the Edmond's YMCA. These types of sports help children develop relationships with other kids as well as a healthy understanding of competition as they continue through the program. Again, it's all about letting kids have fun while they discover these sports, says Chris Berry, Associate Executive at the Edmond YMCA.
And of course, swimming. According to Infant Swimming Resource, the best way to keep children safe from drowning is training them to handle themselves in the water. Several facilities, including the YMCA and The Key Health Institute of Edmond, offer swimming lessons, and even if a child never continues with the sport, he or she will have a lifetime of confidence and safety with the knowledge of swimming. And it is an activity people can do their whole lives.
I'm sure there are more sports out there for little ones, but the programs I did find and the people I talked to who run them certainly convinced me that Edmond has plenty to offer in the way of positive early athletic programs. So don't be counting any gold medals or college scholarships yet, but do get those kiddies active. Because that's a habit they can keep for a lifetime.
Thursday, February 6, 2014
It's the Olympics! Cue the music...and remember your kid is just that--a kid!
The other day, I experienced my first round of silly parent competitiveness. My preschool daughter's gymnastics class was divided in half. Half went up; half went down. When my daughter didn't move up at first, that little voice inside me went, "Whaaaa?" But then my toddler son began attacking the soda machine, and I had to put my outrage aside while tiny hands were extracted from the dispenser.
And by the time I managed that, I remembered something.
That's right. My daughter is a little girl. Not Gabby Douglas. Not Shannon Miller. Just a little girl having so much fun, that no big bad mama in yoga pants needed to come ruin it.
This is an easy time to get caught up in the competitive nature of sports. Not only did we just have another Super Bowl (Hello? Broncos? Was anyone home? Where did my team go?), but the opening ceremonies, gold medals, and thrill of competition are right in our faces with the Winter Olympics. And it's awesome to cheer for the home team. It totally, totally is.
As long as we keep competition where it should be.
When it comes to our kids, healthy competition can be a good thing. But too much of a good thing is no longer a good thing, and when those kids are itty bitty, your best intentions can lead to frustration, inactivity, and just plain no fun. In light of that revelation, I decided to take on several topics for this month, ones that hit home with a former competitor like myself.
What are the best sports for little kids? I sought out several local experts in different sports disciplines for this one, and I'm just going to tell you that it doesn't take much beside a great attitude and an emphasis on learning while having FUN for your kid to get psyched about sports. Some sports are difficult to play at ages 3 and 4 (think football and volleyball), but others are just a step up from what kids love to do anyway (think gymnastics and soccer). See more on this topic February 13.
Pushing your kids--how much is too much? My attitude mentioned above was a surprise to me. I've always thought I'd be such a good parent when it came to my kids doing sports, simply because I used to skate competitively as well as coach, and I know how crazy parents can be. Little did I know how hard it is too tame that mama bear, and how deciding what's best for your kid and deciding what's best for her sports career are two vastly different things. See more on this February 20.
Preventing injury--how can you be an aware parent? Overuse can be the leading cause of injury in so many sports, simply because we live in a society where more seems to be better. Tuning this philosophy out isn't always easy, but it can be critical for the health and mental well-being of your child. So keeping your finger on your child's physical and mental health, especially when participating in sports, is not only helpful, but crucial to your role as a parent. More on this February 27.
So I hope you tune in this month, especially if you want to be the type of parent who helps your kid not only succeed in sports, but also enjoy them. Because at the end of the day, if your kids are headed for the big time, they ought to be able to do it with a smile on their faces.
And by the time I managed that, I remembered something.
That's right. My daughter is a little girl. Not Gabby Douglas. Not Shannon Miller. Just a little girl having so much fun, that no big bad mama in yoga pants needed to come ruin it.
This is an easy time to get caught up in the competitive nature of sports. Not only did we just have another Super Bowl (Hello? Broncos? Was anyone home? Where did my team go?), but the opening ceremonies, gold medals, and thrill of competition are right in our faces with the Winter Olympics. And it's awesome to cheer for the home team. It totally, totally is.
As long as we keep competition where it should be.
When it comes to our kids, healthy competition can be a good thing. But too much of a good thing is no longer a good thing, and when those kids are itty bitty, your best intentions can lead to frustration, inactivity, and just plain no fun. In light of that revelation, I decided to take on several topics for this month, ones that hit home with a former competitor like myself.
What are the best sports for little kids? I sought out several local experts in different sports disciplines for this one, and I'm just going to tell you that it doesn't take much beside a great attitude and an emphasis on learning while having FUN for your kid to get psyched about sports. Some sports are difficult to play at ages 3 and 4 (think football and volleyball), but others are just a step up from what kids love to do anyway (think gymnastics and soccer). See more on this topic February 13.
Pushing your kids--how much is too much? My attitude mentioned above was a surprise to me. I've always thought I'd be such a good parent when it came to my kids doing sports, simply because I used to skate competitively as well as coach, and I know how crazy parents can be. Little did I know how hard it is too tame that mama bear, and how deciding what's best for your kid and deciding what's best for her sports career are two vastly different things. See more on this February 20.
Preventing injury--how can you be an aware parent? Overuse can be the leading cause of injury in so many sports, simply because we live in a society where more seems to be better. Tuning this philosophy out isn't always easy, but it can be critical for the health and mental well-being of your child. So keeping your finger on your child's physical and mental health, especially when participating in sports, is not only helpful, but crucial to your role as a parent. More on this February 27.
So I hope you tune in this month, especially if you want to be the type of parent who helps your kid not only succeed in sports, but also enjoy them. Because at the end of the day, if your kids are headed for the big time, they ought to be able to do it with a smile on their faces.
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